What Do Wednesdays

Thinking I will start this as a new "series" on wednesdays ( if you're reading this on Tuesday night, its because I posted it on Tuesday, for wednesday...logic).  I say that in air quotes because we all know my blog game is not strong compared to all y'all and your royalty, but I think its fun. And I love opinions.

Since I like pictures and hate words (ok thats not true. I love words. I'm a words fanatic. But not in blogs. Pictures. I like dem) I chose a topic relevant to the season AND one that can have all the pictures, because pictures.

Shaving.

Bodies. Specifically horsebeast bodies.

Sexual

If you've followed me long time, you know I have the propensity to shave all the horses because 1)I'm lazy ....aaaand thats really it.

For those of you vehemently opposed to taking away a horses natural defense against the wrath of mother nature, hold up fo a minnut.

For one, what part of owning a DOMESTICATED horse is natural? Literally nothing. No amount of trying will replicate a wild lifestyle. Sure, you can come close, but lets be real, everything we do is to benefit ourselves. Yes yes we love our horses tenderly, and choose the beeeest grains, and hay, and turn them out and vet them regularly and shoe/trim them etc etc. BECAUSE they are domesticated. Small example; they simply can't wear their feet down enough ((unless you live on a ranch or whatever, maybe, but seriously, most of us cram our horses into tiny lots or pastures and stalls because thats what is available and convenient to us)) with the lifestyle most live. So farriers it is. Bye money!

Whoa, too many words.

To keep it short; I clip my horses because I ride them all year long.  I have limited time. This comes in handy because a blanketed, clipped horse is usually really clean. Shiny even. Tacked up in 5, BOOM. Also, no fungus. BOOM. The babes are also are heavy sweaters way too furry IMO. Being clipped, they stay relatively dry  throughout workouts, and cool out takes another 5 instead of FORTY5. Tack also stays pretty clean. BOOM. BOOM. Being blanketed they never get wet in inclement weather, and consequently, chilled/shivering/sick. BOOM. They also barely shed in spring and look prettier faster. BOOM FOREVER.

Strong downside is having to be blanketed all winter. First acquiring them. If you're a tack whore like myself though, you never throw shit away and buy in off season. And on seasons. And have enough blankets to clothe a herd of horses. Then, changing them whenever the temp fluctuates. Last winter was a bitch with -20 temps one day and 60 degrees the next. Then then cleaning them. Also a bitch. And you usually have to re-clip. Another bitch.

6-4 odds, not bad.

Sure, it benefits me in the end, but I tend to think it benefits them as well. I've never had a horse complain about being clipped either. And blankets with hoods are REALLY stylish.

Swag

So let me take you on a journey. A pictorial journey of Yankee's various clips throughout the years. He got his first ever clip in 2007 when I realized that he sweat like no other & would take hours to dry out.

2007, right off the track

Not hateful for a 14 year old who didn't know what the actual they were doing. I believe the real term for this clip is "trace", but I don't follow the rules. As you will see. What an adorable fugly little baby though.

2008-2009

2008/2009 I wasn't big into riding in the cold. Or helmets apparently. I was busy being a senior in high school, so no clip for the babe. Thats the same field I ride in today though-wooo, time warp! I also still own that bridle.

Sept 2010

Jan 2010

So here is 2 variations of a "high trace" (?). In the fall it was unnaturally hot so I shaved early. I hated how I left a point on his shoulder, so when I re clipped I took it out and clipped his haunches closer in. You might be able to see the difference.

I think 2011 disappeared into the Bermuda triangle because I have 0 winter pictures, but I know I did a variation of this clip. So we will pretend this is for 2011/2012. Possibly called a version of a low hunter/high trace?? Who knows.

Can you tell I'm getting slap happier each year and taking off more and more hair? Yeah. Because its so.much.nicer.

2013

I liked 2012 so much I repeated the clip in 2013, just with more rounded edges and an even HIGHER clip up.

2014

2014 was the year of the checkerboard. Andrea did a bomb ass version of this that reminded me of a puzzle. Love. For this, I started off with a highhunter/trace with a free hand checkerboard.

Bad idea. Never freehand. Always tape. ALWAYS.

I tried correcting it a month later and ended up making a huge mistake and then just said fuck it and shaved him bald.

Best decision ever. I will probably shave him naked every year from now on, unless he has the winter off.

I got probably a thousand compliments on top of the fact that he just looks so dapper and clean.

Which bring s me to this year. Already cooking up designs for Bacardi and Yankee. Shall not divulge because people are crafty and will thieve my ideas! Maybe.

I heard B is a shithead about clippers so thats fun. But here's what he has last year,

What I want to know is what YOU do!

Clip? No clip? Why? Why not?

Got My Mojo Baby

I think I am finally getting used to this wild schedule. Perfect.  Because as just as soon as I mastered it, its changing on the 15th. Work moved me from 8-5 to 10-7...so squeezing in riding, workout and all the other adult things might be trickier. And winter. ITS COMING.

Side note: I would like to say again how absolutely groovy you all are! I am so thankful for everyone's support in the form of comments, tips, congrats and suggestions!

To answer the trailering question posed on "where did we go"...nowhere. Hahaha. We just practice loading over and over and over until our souls bleed from sadness. That day he just happened to load up like a boss. Hopefully he keeps it up!

Secondly, I will be putting shoes back on the Yankster. I've concluded that like some women regarding high heels some horses cannot go barefoot. I should have known from the 3 other times we've tried it, but I thought maybe just maybe one.more.time. Definition of insanity right there. Hi.

I am also changing farriers for many reasons. Namely, Bacardi threw a shoe and there literally is no reasoning as to why. 4 weeks from our scheduled appointment, Belled. No mud. No romps. No riding, really. On top of Yankee's staggering 10 losses in 3 months...yeah, its time. Hopefully he can help me with Yankee's feets and keep B sound as well. That all being said, I will keep the bootie offers in mind in case new farrier thinks Yankee can try again over winter. Thank you all!!

Due to said lameness and schedule and life changes and difficulty adjusting up until now (the 4th week), I have not ridden much. Shocker.  The few times I've tried, Poor Pants has issues even trotting comfortably in our field out back, so I've taken to riding on the road when I have time. He feels neglected sometimes and lets me know by shunning myself & B when we tack up in the aisle. Poor babe. Right now he's adjusting to some time off and just enjoying getting groomed, loved on and in general, spoiled shitless.  I've never seen a fatter OTTB in my life, love it.

Since Yankee is pretty much down for the count, you'll exclusively get rained on with Bacardi pics. Because lets face it, he's gorgeous.

Minus our 2 ish week lapse in soundness due to a freak muscle strain ( I'll explain later) and my inability to get my ass in a saddle, the baby has been super groovy whenever I DO pull him out to torture school him. We had our cray cray moments on the lunge last week, but in general, he's coming along steady as can be like a good man.

Our last ride was exceptional and the boy got some really cool shots. Props to him for suffering through the mosquitos for me. I can't wait to make him get some fall video >:) Because, you know, fall.

Namely PSL's, leggings, scarves and oversize sweaters. Oh and leaves. 

Countryside. I will never get tired of it!

Got some really excellent trot work out of the  lad and some bangin' transitions, which is all I can ask for with my piss-poor riding. Who knew sitting slumped in an office all day affects your eq?

FAV

 love this trot action

Add caption

HELL-O TROT

So thats just a week update on the slow goings here. I cant tell if they are enjoying their time off or not but at least we are past the fall sillies!

The Horse Gods Smile Down on Me, Finally

Bacardi got on the trailer.

I repeat.

BACARDI GOT ON THE TRAILER.

That is all.


(ps. I literally opened the doors and walked in and he followed me. So like, why did he resist for so many months. I don't even.)

Baby horsebeast, all is forgiven
FOR NOW.

Still A Titch Bananas Here

Quick update....

I had the ultimate pleasure of lunging my two beautiful horses today. They're so pretty. Did I mention they're shiny...and pretty?

About the only thing they are at the moment, besides a giant pain in my ass, geezus. 

I love em but between the lameness issues and insane fuckery on the lunge, worrying for two weeks over random  mystery lameness, hoof problems and hoping they don't kill themselves in the pasture with shenanigans.... I'm about over it.

 hahahahahaaa *crazy lady laughter* *soul slowly getting crushed*

Relieved they are feeling better, but good-ness. I haven't been dragged around like that, ever really. Bucking bronco maniacs. 

Hopefully they summer down and we can return to our regularly scheduled programming. 

Towel Throwing

I might be tossing some down on the ground soon when it comes to this barefoot experiment. Towels, that is.

(picture-less post, so bear with me. *grumble grumble*)

most of you *may* know that Yankee was having issues keeping shoes on since we relocated to Ohio. My farrier & I were attempting to combot his contracted heel issue by flaring out the shoes, rolling the toes and gradually shortening toe length. Yankee had other ideas though and constantly ripped the shoes off. NO amount of bell-booting would combat the frequency of his lost shoe game. So we decided to pull them and hope we could re-grow some hoof wall before attempting to put shoes back on.

I was very gung -ho (but worried) and committed to staying on the barefoot path, even when faced with the common problems of transitioning a horse to being foot naked. I was prepared. I had asked questions, told myself it had to get a bit rough before it could get better and that this was for the better...maybe. Hopefully.

That was until Yankee went off his feed a few days ago.

He's been pretty tenderfooted for the majority of the last 3 weeks since we pulled the shoes. Been sound maybe 4 of those days. I thought it would be okay to ride on those days, but then he would go lame again and I would feel like THE worst horse mom on the planet.

I was aggressive with his pain management too. I kept him in at night, cleaned his stall 3 times a day (keepin' it dry), gave him extra bedding, religiously used hoof stuffs, etc etc. I kept him off the bute because I was afraid he would start to feel really good, mask true pain and only aggravate his feet worse by romping about.

Even with all the extra time I spent trying to keep his pain level low, he consistently could barely walk around. It was so horrible for me to watch.

I started to notice Yankee literally acting depressed on Monday. He would only shuffle around his stall and barely move in turnout. He started to not clean up his hay. Refused to come out of his stall. When I tried to ride  he was so choppy and short strided I hopped off after 10 minutes because I felt guilty for even asking him to try. He looked so defeated and upset with himself. I couldn't bear it.

Then on Tuesday he didn't finish his dinner. I thought it was odd, but he seemed fine other than his feet, so just wrote it off as a fluke.

Until he didn't finish Wed breakfast. Or Dinner. Or yesterday's meals.

OF COURSE I thought of everything, panicked, examined, etc; but the rest of him looked shiny, fat and healthy. It was just his face that conveyed pain. I could tell he was hurting bad.

His refusals to go outside and immobility only worsened throughout the week. I was deeply concerned. This couldn't be normal.

I started a "diaper boot" regime, with salve and diapers to help pad his feet. It seemed to relieve a little pain, but I still contacted my farrier with my concerns. I also put his feed bucket on the wall so he didn't have to eat off the ground, and stole Bacardi's hay net for him.

So here we are on Friday.

He still didn't clean up his grain this AM, so I administered some bute and left him in. He shuffled his sorry floppy-eared ass to the corner of the stall and refused to look at me (very un Yankee-like), so I figured he just wanted to stay in.

I am really concerned about him and his problematic tootsies and I'm beginning to think this was a huge mistake.

Perhaps some horses really can't go barefoot no matter how much you want them to. I know its ONLY been 3 weeks, but this is an extreme reaction. I've seen footsoreness, and then there's THIS.

Still debating what to do with my farrier, but that's the update for now.

Fatty Phat Fatties

Tiny, yet annoying/maddening/sad update on the pones and their ailments. I hopped on both today for a jiff just to analyze said ongoing possible minor or major issues. Prognosis: still not sure.

Bacardi was a WILD FUCKING CHILD and would. not. simmer. down. I've never had a ride like that on him. In fact, I just blogged the other day about how chill he usually is; eating my words right meow. At first I took it as a positive sign that he was feeling good, but then I just got irritated at the ensuing shenanigans. Along with getting eaten alive by mosquitos, I could only handle about 15 minutes of his childish fuckery. Think, jigging, head tossing and outright friviloty. Should've known when he refused to be caught in the field. Still debating if these are all signs of pain, or him just trying to avoid doing things in every horsey way he knows how. I think I'm overanalyzing, but can you be too careful when dealing with lameness?? Not sure.

Anyways, he was only slightly, barely, mildly off today. I almost blamed it on the muddy footing because he felt pretty good despite the insanity, but my worrisome horse mommy-ness refuses to let it go. Leaving me to believe his lameness was a result of pasture fuckery and not anything else. I will try again Friday!

Yankee was pretty obvious in his front hoof pain. Unwillingness to move forward with any energy at all. I don't know why I am surprised considering the weekend activities and the deep mud we have. I'm still keeping up with the terpentine, but I'm too poor ATM to afford boots. My farrier already wants to slap shoes on him again and I'm like, isn't that being hasty and a little counterproductive to what we are trying to accomplish??

That being said, I took their confo shots this weekend as well. I've been keeping up with Bacardi religiously but didn't even think to include Yankee in on it. I did this time though!

Months 1, 3 & 4

Month 1-month 4

All I have to say is you can definitely tell they are eating like Kings, holy hell.

I have never seen Yankee that deliciously fat since I've owned him. I'm not even mad about it. And B has made leaps and bounds in the grocery department.

For comparison:

5 years ago, 8 yrs old

That fat belly literally makes his back look shorter in comparison. Thats crazy to me. Granted he's lost some muscle tone in the ass, making the hunters bump more prominent but I still think he's very smexy. Such fat. Many dapples. And that mane...it does what it wants. I have NEVER made it try to stand up like that.

Bacardi too has made some incredible improvements, but not as noticeable as from month 1 to month 3 unless you really study the pics. He's still gaining weight, but has definitely plateaued a bit. I think he will always be ribby sadly. Unless he follows the Yankee plan and becomes less of princess and is super fat after reaching double digits.

His muscle too, is changing, even in a months time. His neck is thicker still, and his haunches filling in ever so slowly. His haunches loss definition (look at the line in month 3 compared to 4) but IMO is still filling out. The difference in his neck too, from 1-4 blows me away. Little pencil neck to hulk. The biggest change I see though is his muscling in his withers/topline. They're ACTUALLY filling in. Didn't know that was possible. Maybe one day we can get dat ass to twerk, but I'm pretty gucci with a topline for now.

I'm glad all that money invested in feed stuffs is going SOMEwhere at least.

We Are All Mad Here

Last week, equestrian wise, was extremely unproductive. I did a lot of grown people things, like commute, work in my adorable cubicle prison, joined a gym (I'm now a douchey crossfitter), did things, and made a huge pot of chili. Did not ride once. Mostly due to the weather, half due to Yankee being footsore, and the other half just plain laziness/extreme sleepiness.

In addition, I have been battling it out with Blogger and this is as good as its gonna get for now. I THINK the problem is you can't copy and paste. If you do, it gives the words a lovely white aura, or won't show up at all.

 I've been systematically screaming and pulling my hair out after switching templates, fussing with code, retyping on a different computer and switching browsers.

Wence the weekend came, I planned to ride all 3 days but the ponies had different ideas. All of them were absolutely, 100%, clinically insane. I wish their brains had literally fallen out of their skulls because then they would have been medically excused from the fuckery. Lilly was way off base from her normal chill self. Bacardi, I’m pretty sure was faking extreme lameness, and Yankee forgot how be an adult horse.

I attempted to ride the thoroughbreds Saturday. Attempted being the key word.

 Bacardi was looking exceptional, and I was excited to finally do work with him after 6 days off. Normal warm-up routine, walking around for 10 min, stretching, changing directions. I asked for the trot and instantly felt him feel just ever so off. It went away when I changed direction so I shrugged it off.  Hadn’t been worked in a while and it was chilly out. Then I changed direction again. Yep. There was the mysterious, 3 legged lameness. 

Even The Boy could tell he was off. Where though, was the QOD. I had him video to help pinpoint mystery lameness, but to no avail. After watching the video over and over I honestly could not pinpoint ANYTHING. Palpated all lower extremities, ass and back. Nothing. Wasn’t lame to the left, or the walk. WTF Bacardi.

No issues to the left in particular

So what does any white girl do? Take a poll on social media. I hit up the insta world asking if anyone could pinpoint the issue after watching a short 15 sec clip.. Most agreed with me that while it initially seemed like LF, when he switched directions it was obviously RH or hip hitch.

Conclusion, not sure. But I have a feeling he was being a motherfaker about it all because I definitely saw him frolicking in the pasture yesterday. Complete with galloping, vivacious trotting and massive bucking leaps.

At least he makes pretty pictures

Yankee was not much better than the last time I rode him, either. If anything he just stayed steady on his nonsensical route to making me hate him. Last time he forgot how to canter, and trot and be normal in every way. Saturday was essentially the same, just with more sideways fuckery and head tossing. I don’t even. After fighting with him for over 15 minutes I gave up when we got a clean and mostly relaxed walk to trot transition. Ridiculous. Yankee, YOU ARE ALMOST A TEENAGER.

Basically pulling my arms out

I feel like the horses are plotting against my eventual mental breakdown by trading off playing lame and acting a fool.

Switching gears and trying to forget that insanity we planned to ride Sunday. The Boy and I headed out to trail ride again since the weather was a wonderful combination of sunny and chilly.

The day started off with a bang and with a mild heart palpation. When we loaded up, Lilly followed The Boy through the escape door of the trailer. Mind you, that is for HUMANS, and not equids. I still don’t understand WHY she followed him and HOW she didn’t get mangled. She has one small cut on her ankle, but that’s it. 

I don’t think I will recover from watching her hulk/fall her way through that small door and thinking, “Well, my boyfriend is gonna die because this horse, that ISNT MINE is going to squash him and I’m going to have to call his mom and tell her her son died by horse and call her owner and tell him that his horse bled to death falling out of a trailer and murdering someone. Cool”.

That was a bit intense & uncalled for.

NO RAGRATS HOOMIN GIRL

It did not end there though. Lilly had a stick up her ass the whole day and spent most of the time trying to bolt, or falling over. Apparently rebelling against me and the direction I wanted her to go was more compelling than staying upright and on all four feet. She would lock her neck and jaw and refuse to go where I asked and would then sideways run the complete opposite direction and then fall, literally fall, into the thorny scrub brush. Generally regarding mud and water patches; where before she would lackadaisically amble through mud and water. It was really fun for me.

Luckily, Yankee was an angel with The Boy and I had no worries in that department. Complete opposite from last Sunday (Yankee was a jerk and Lilly was perfect).  Its like they switched personalities. The Boy even half galloped up a really steep hill with The Pants and seemed to enjoy it! Minus Lilly being an asshole, it WAS a really fine day out, and I always enjoy rides, no matter how rude the horses are.

And at least they make for an adorable couple, especially if their humans are wearing matching plaid.

So here I am, on Tuesday night, exhausted already from the weeks activities (Will I ever adjust. How do people do this in real life. Are you all robots.), having not ridden AGAIN since Sunday, wondering if my horse(s) will be sound and unbroken tomorrow.

I might have a sliver of time before the sun goes to bed to ride one of the two and I am dying to know if B's lameness was a fluke from a pasture romp or back soreness due to all the long an low stuff.

(Sorry if some of the words are missing in various places, blogger ate them because it hates me)

Stay tuned.