Leg. Always MORE Leg.

Despite getting sick AGAIN with the black lunge plague that everyone seems to have, its less aggressive and awful than the last time I was sick with whatever I had that was trying to kill me, so after a few days of sneezing, coughing and dealing with congestion I said screw it and rode anyways.

Once the temp rose, of course.

No more snerr

I don't know about you all, but where I am in Ohio, the temperatures have been INSANE the last 3 weeks. In that time frame we have gone from 20s, to mid 60s to negative temps back to 60s and it is pretty awful. Not only am I worried about colic, but it makes for ridiculously unrideable days and unpredictable weather.

I rode yesterday for the first time in about 9 days (minus the photo shoot which I don't count at all) and it was....lit.

In addition to the warm spell, we also had thunderstorms (WHAT?! it was literally 5 degrees on Sunday) and the wind was INSANE. Gale force. Hurricane.

So even though B has grown up and minds his manners most of the time, yesterday was a struggle and I do not blame him one bit. Skyrocketing temp changes, gale force winds, being kept in due to rain and a crowded arena do not a calm thoroughbred make.

We've also been busy taking pics from every goddamn angle for prospective buyers. 

HOWEVER.

It was a really good ride despite that.

I was prepared for antics and set myself a 2 hour block of time to ride. I of course can only ride once its dark and lessons for the evenings are in full swing. This means I do a lot of standing around, letting the lessons do their thing. I don't mind at all, and it gives B a chance to brush upon his 'stand calm' skills in addition to being comfortable with lots of horses in a small space.

For the most part, he was actually a really good boy and some people I had not seen in a while complimented how different he looks. I will say that he was giving some solid and connected trot work. Super pliable and really moving off my leg--it was lovely.

The trouble was the canter, again.

Half the time, its how I ride and the other half the time it was the insane weather understandably spooking a hot TB. It was spooking me, so I never got mad at him for it.

Going back to the lesson with S though; I learned that at this point, B cannot be coddled or just toodled around long and low. Boy needs to WORK and work from the get-go, so I hopped to it.

Like I said, the trot work was lovely but when it came time for the canter he was a wild child. I'm not sure if he was stiff from being inside, spooky or just sensitive to my leg (his skin gets that way with temp changes) but he would EXPLODE into the canter, dive into the circle and crow hop his way around.

At first, we fought. It wasn't pretty.  At all.

Then the lightbulb went off and I remembered what he was like outside with S during our lesson. It was a windy day, he was spooky, but whenI didn't give up on getting "a good ride",  I brought my hands up and supported with the reins (instead of pulling back like I habitually do) and added leg and sat quietly like nothing was happening, he magically transformed into a uni.

So thats what I did.

It worked.

Holy shit guys, this is real stuff.

Minus the one time on the left lead, when he literally cantered in place and kinda half hopped around (honestly would've been a really good canter pirouette) to which I refused to cater to his bullshit and literally cow-kicked him into an actual canter, it was mostly without fight. After 4 transitions, he no longer exploded and it was lovely each and every time.

So my assumption is that I've been jabbing him in the face accidentally with my wayward hands, or someone else has (he was ridden a lot by people at my barn while I was sick) and he's started spooking/scooting due to one thing or another when I ask for the canter.

Luckily, with S's tips on how to, you know, ride properly, we ACTUALLY worked through it instead of getting a "good stopping point" and ending there.

I was super proud of him for coming back to me so quickly and proud of myself for actually really working through a tantrum. Usually I would bring him down to a walk, distract him with lateral work and be done, but I worked through it at the sticky gait and it was brilliant.

I think this was the ride I really needed to give myself confidence that I AM doing OK with this horse and he doesn't hate me and I'm not a POS rider now. Sometimes its super frustrating when you feel like its you holding them back, but now I know I can do it and work through the rough spots. Coming back from this back injury has been so ridiculously slow that sometimes I feel I will never get my strength or confidence up again, but last night really helped me.

Tonight we have a jump lesson, first in months, and first time I've jumped since the disaster of my clinic, so I am nervous and excited. Its a group lesson though, which will diffuse some focus on me and I signed up for the 2'6 and under class to keep my nerves at a minimum.

Its interesting, the last time I really jumped B was in September and we jumped a sick grid ending with a 3'6 oxer and then I jumped him ALONE, 3'9 just to see if we could. THEN, I went to a show, competed in a thunderstorm, fell off (are we seeing a trend with thunderstorms?) and now I'm shattered and can't seem to jump anything over 2ft without collapsing in on myself into fetal position and  riding like shit.

Where is this badass? Why am I like this?

Since then, minus the clinic (which was DUMB), I have avoided jumping, and the weather has supported this by being too cold for jumping. But damn, I need to get this horse jumping again...

LOL at me for being nervous to jump my fucking badass jumper horse who I'm trying to sell as as a jumper...

I have issues guys. Lort give me gumption.

Appreciation

I'm not usually a fan of super sappy/annoying/heartfelt blogposts and perhaps have strayed from my sarcastic tone only a few times, but since listing B for sale and trying to sell his ass...I've been feeling all the feels.

In May (if I still have him then--lort plz no) he will have been mine 3 whole years.

DAMN.

That went by so fast, I can barely believe it to be honest.

Day 1: trying him out

In selling him I have found it INCREDIBLY difficult to not preach how god awful he was when I first got him. Its so difficult to not say "well x amount of time ago he was y and how he is z"...because people don't care. They don't care if he was a giant exploding ball of anxiety around trailers and stalls and in crossties and now doesn't bat an eye at any of it.  They don't give a shit. They see whats in front of them, which I can 1000% understand...but as an owner its SO damn hard to not be like here's xyz.

He used to literally be dangerous. He would rear, kick, bolt, buck and explode at any and all moments for no given reason. A lesser person would've given up or treated him like garbage, but I saw what was underneath that hard & explosive exterior. He was horse who had been broken. Broken to to core and just needed love, trust and understanding. He needed time. And I gave it to him. Years, actually.

& it was fucking brutal.

Do you know how hard it is to watch everyone else schooling their 6 year olds over 3ft fences, when yours can't even walk forward half the time? How hard it is to struggle day in and day out with loading in a trailer? How miserable it is to re teach the same thing over and over and over because your horse is afraid of the wind and literally cannot keep himself together for 5 minutes at a time? How embarrassing it is to have your horse jumping 3'6 one day and refusing ground poles the next?

So fucking hard.

But, I slowly kept chipped away at him, building a partnership, teaching him its OK to not understand and to trust what I'm asking of him. I kept at it, when everyone else was light years ahead, because I knew he was special. I knew it would pay off.

And it did. It DID pay off. He's a brilliant horse, with so much talent and he is finally less of a spaz. Sure, he still spooks at the wind on occasion and we have a bad ride here and there (everyone does) , but I'm no longer leaving the ring every single time in tears. He has grown.

Realizing that any potential seller could easily google my name from the ad, find this blog and read it. Great. I don't care. If anything, I wish they would to learn what a badass B is now.

BUT.

(for me) When selling, its a constant struggle to show him in his best light vs. what he was because I find that to be more informational than anything, and a true testament to the horse he is today.

But alas, thats not how it works.

I love this goon

I also apparently forgot that people want X-rays and photos of legs, of which I have neither. I refuse to get X-rays for a horse that's under 10K, so people can ge over that or order it themselves.

But for real. This whole process has been numbing.

Bacardi was and is my dream horse. Forever.

Don't get me wrong, I adore Yankee and he is my heart, but I also outgrew him in many ways. He does not challenge me any more and he is physically too small for my amazon body. Also if I am being frank, he is quite plain and not a stunner in any way other than his brain and talent for learning. I had ALWAYS wanted a shiny, chromey, flashy, BIG horse. I will never forget what Yankee has done for me and he is never leaving...but B encompasses everything I've ever wanted and ripping it away after such success is killing me. I finally felt whole and content in my purchase of that big crazy chestnut boy.

People read his ad and see an unshown 8 year old off the track Thoroughbred and nothing more. I KNOW why people focus on a show record, but it is so fucking frustrating when people have all the money in the world to show every weekend and I am scraping together every cent I have to provide for my passion and show a schooling show a month. I feel like thats worth some credit too and pricing B where he is now is almost a slap in the face to myself. It sucks.

I just wish everyone could see his transformation like I have and realize he is so so special and worth every cent he's listed for and more. It kill me to give him up after all we have been through.

XoXo forever 

SNERRR

I generally have a rule about NO RIDING under 20* because reasons, but I texted V when I was at work around 2PM and was like, "SCREW IT meet me at the barn at 4PM and bring your camera" because it was snowing big old fat flakes of snow!!

And like, pictures are everything.

Literally, and especially since B is up for sale this may be our last snowstorm together and I really wanted some majestic pics even if it was 10*, windy as shit and I'm nursing another head cold. But I'm a total photo whore and everyone knows it and the opportunity was perfect.

We tacked up faster than I ever have before and wrestled our annoyed beasts outside (OF COURSE we were riding right at feeding time and they were PISSED at us) to frolic in the newly fallen snow.

Never mind that I had on about a million layers and looked like A Christmas Story, it was fun even though all I did was walk B. He was extra lit, since it dropped about 40* in one day then snowed and we pulled him away from the hectic mess that was feeding time, and the wind was whipping. But he was a good sport for about 15 minutes, hahaha.

"Mahm ees cold, no plz"

I am not sure how the rest turned out, but V sent me a few to "tide me over" (her actual words) but I love even the few she sent me < 3

I was hoping to get some good riding in this weekend, but OF COURSE the temp doesn't go up until Monday (back to 45*...wut) and we are sitting pretty at sub-20* all weekend. So we shall see.

I want to give a huge thank you to any of you who follow me and are friends with me on FB and shared my equine.come ad, or my FB post. His ad was viewed 600 times yesterday and I was swamped with messages yesterday evening. Thank you SO MUCH for advocating in my boy and making this process easier by being so supportive. I love you all!

Officially for Sale

I've quite literally drug my feet over listing B on the "official" sites for like, 2 months....whoops.

Mostly I have just advertised him on my personal FB, instagram and this blog. Not exactly the best way to get a horse sold that you desperately need to, but I was also dead inside from the decision and not being the best about it in general.

Now that I have a set date for moving houses and grad school loans looming and my car needs replaced and insurance premiums rose like 200% and medical bills to pay....I am freaking out and realized I needed to get over myself and list the damn horse *cries inwardly and outwardly*

So I did it. Today.

In hindsight I should have removed the wraps, but we were getting ready to ride

It was every bit as awful as I imagined and I teared up picking the photos (there are too many good ones to choose by the way) but my loyal equine friends banded together and shared the shit out of my post on FB and ad from equine.com and its generated tons of interest already, which is super overwhelming TBH.

When I first casually listed him, I had him listed for much more than I am asking now and got a lot of responses just off instagram from followers who have known him for years, which would have been great if they weren't thinking I was listing him as a flip project for $1000.

No. GTFO.

KIND OF A BADASS OK

I've already done the HARDEST part of retraining this beast, you will have it easy from here on out, TRUST ME. He is 8, not 3 and he's kind of BAMF, so BYE.

So that was annoying and put me off really pushing him for sale. Then, I got some super PA and bitchy DMs re my decision to sell and it was truly the cherry on the cake of my emotional stability over all of this. Fun times. Additionally, I was sick as a dog and he barely got worked. All I could think of was someone coming to try him and him not even being able to canter properly due to being out of shape, so I put it off for that reason too. ALL THE EXCUSES!

But I listed him. It is done.

I can already tell this is going to be exhausting, as I vaguely remember the physical pain I was in reading some responses and dealing with people the last time I sold a horse. LORT give me strength.

This is hard and I hate it.

Anyways, he's now officially officially for actual sale and I decided on a price and you should tell your friends.

Peace and blessin's.

These Hips Don't Lie/Dressage Is Hard PT1

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas this year! I know I am jacked for the NYE and its right around the corner.

The holidays were productive for me mostly, including riding and reclipping both boys, as well as organizing my tack trunk and getting some things washed. I also was dog sitting in addition to farm sitting (yes, two different locations), so that kept me busy!

The best part was when my good friend S came to visit me! We actually trained with the same event coach ages ago and Pony Club together THEN moved out to MO around the same time. She, however, has been training with an UL dressage person for YEARS and now is a pro herself. Meaning, when she comes to town I demand bribe her to ride my boys and give them a tune up.

YASSS work that pony

PT2 will cover Yankee, but this post is about how she kicked my literally ass in a lesson and "un-stuck" Bacardi.

Post ass kicking swagger

Quick backstory/recap--back injury in July, grad school/new job has kept me from riding consistently since then, then for most of Nov/Dec I was deathly ill. Now I am essentially a potato in the saddle and apparently have some insane grabby hands that are pissing my sensitive beast the fuck off.

I mean, I wouldn't like it either so I don't blame him. Lately we;ve been doing a ton of long and low to come back to work, but as soon as I ask to get collected up, he's been difficult and the canter goes to crap....just...awful.

So yesterday we tacked up both boys and headed to the outdoor since it was SEVENTY degrees. Yep. In the middle of winter in Ohio. It was weird. 

I was sweating in a light long sleeve so idk why she was wearing a VEST

S hopped on B first and put him through is paces. From the get-go he was much better for her this time around (last time she was here a few months ago he was not afraid to express his disdain for contact and using himself properly, lol). She complimented me again on what I have done with him so far, and the fact that even in just a few months he seems much more grown up. I concur actually-- he's been solid every ride back., despite our struggles in collection. Meaning, no shenanigans in spooking and being a brat like he was last winter.

Check it

She put him straight to work, advising now that I have spent a couple weeks long and low and relaxed, its time to up the ante with B. He's ready for it and needs it. 

B is a lovely creature, and has 3 wonderful gaits. However, he is incredibly picky and inconsistent. Mostly fault of my own from having him in and out of work as of late, but at least we have a solid base and understanding for what is expected. The problem is that he is picky and requires a 100% effort on the riders end and no slumping around like I tend to do out of default. 

This is what 110% rider effort looks like

LOL. Right now I can't give him that, but I sure can try. 

So, S worked with him both directions, per my request focusing more to the left and on the canter as it was absolutely garbage a week ago.

TURNS OUT, it was just me riding like shit. HAHA.

Not surprised though, S is a complete wizard and figured out how to ride B to his maximum current capacity in approx 10 minutes and had him working with minimal "tantrums" (flinging head in air).

The key with B is completely relaxed elbows, closed fingers and LEG LEG LEG. Always leg. 

LIKE, can we please??

NO joke. When in doubt more leg. I ALWAYS say this to V, but apparently have a hard time applying it to myself recently. Really, I thought I had him in front of my leg, but, WHOMP WHOMP, turns out I am trash and couldn't recognize that in my own horse.

 It was magical though, watching S work with him at all 3 gaits, getting some brilliant work out of him. I was floored. Like I legit almost cried actual tears out of my eyeballs watching my glorious hunk of horsemeat strutting his stuff like I KNEW he could. 

BOOTY 

Even dabbled in some flying changes

Mostly crying because I wish I could ride that well, but I guess there's a reason she's the dressage pro and I'm not, lol. After about 25 min, she switched with me (I was on Yankee), and gave me a vicious lesson on B. There are a lot of things I have not been doing that I should be with B, body wise, and essentially have been riding on cruise control for the last 6 months, protecting my back subconsciously. 

It didn't take S long to nail me for my major and life long flaw that has only been exacerbated by my injury. 

Can you see it?

If you can't see it, you're blind. Essentially, its my hip angle. WAY too closed up for flatwork. Even for jumping, with shorter stirrups, its SO easy to get a super close hip angle because my legs are stupid long and my torso is un-proportionately short. This makes curling over my knee, like, easier than breathing and reversing that shit is SO difficult. When I concentrate on opening my hip, my heels start to jiggle, my core collapses, my shoulders slump and my arms flop. Its a gorgeous picture and the total root of my most recent issues during our rides. 

I noticed a massive difference when I was doing yoga regularly, so I am going to make a point to get that back into my regime again. We also took my stirrups down a hole and prescribed me core workouts. Its INSANE how fast I lost my abs and back strength and how slowly the rebuild is going, but yesterday's lesson was a rude awakening that I need to actually focus some workouts solely around my core instead of just coasting along through weightlifting and crossfit. 

As of late, I have been ridiculously grabby with my hands without noticing it, which is awful. S nailed me for that too and literally made me ride with my hands in his mane at first, without tipping forward and it was torturous. Riding correctly is fucking hard guys. 

Holy shit it is possible to not look like a monkey

So, apparently when you give your horse the room to push forward into the bridle, instead of grabbing his face and creating panic in his brain--he actually moves like a god damn unicorn.

GUYS, this is critical info.

So like, leg on, open thighs and soft contact through pushing forward with elbows but closing fingers is like, a novel fucking idea right?

To the right is both of our better directions

Instead of learning one thing at a time like total noob (which I truly felt like during this lesson--WHAT IS CONTACT? WHAT IS FORWARD?!?) I asked S to get after me for everything. I NEEDED to feel like what the proper position was, so that when she was gone, I could attempt to recreate the magical feeling I was experiencing when I actually got it right. 

I am apparently not good at that right now though, especially at the canter, but our trot improved dramatically with S yelling at me to get my fucking shit together like the experienced rider I actually am instead of someone who forgot how to ride in the last month. 

I appreciate a horse like B though, who IS sensitive and will fucking destroy you if you fuck up. Unlike yankee who just goes along without a care in the world, B will giraffe and he will giraffe hard until you fix your useless potato sack body and ride RIGHT.

Classic giraffe

Less giraffe

So, that lesson was hard. I got some excellent footage of it and B is quite telling to my mistakes. If you're bored and want to watch 6 minutes of actually good information, feel free to watch. Personally, I LOVE seeing the differences in the quality of the work when I ride a bit better. 

He is exceptionally intolerant of my antics at the canter and was not afraid to give me shit for my garbage riding. I love it. That's the thing with lessons though, someone on the ground to tell you what you're doing wrong when you think you're actually doing it right. 

doing it right

So that was certainly eye opening and informational for me. Now I have some tools/reminders/instructions on how to not ride like a piece of shit and actually train my horse and make him better. YAY.

YER: Photo Style

No offense to everyone making laborious, lovely year in review posts, but I can barely read through my own once I write it (which takes HOURS) by the way...so this year I am going a new route. In pics!

Choosing just a few of my fav photos per month was insanely difficult, but fun, and better than recapping this shitty year in a totally redundant, wordy and boring way.

Here's to 2016 LEAVING US alone forever. GOOD RIDDANCE. YOU SUCKED. I'll try to keep the highlights positive. Except February, August and October, damn those were bad months. And November. And December. OKAY THEY ALL SUCKED for the most part....

JANUARY: Jumper show fun

FEBRUARY: Acting grown up on the flat

FEBRUARY: Worst day of my life; Yankee has colic surgery in Kansas and I'm in OH 

MARCH: Blooming into a fit and lovely OTTB

APRIL: Learning about XC and jumping all the jumps with enthusiasm

APRIL: Yankee comes home, is ALIVE AND comes back to work!

APRIL: super trainer schools XC in prep for his 1st and only USEA show.  It went well, until they want off course, lol

MAY: B kicks ass at a jumper show

MAY: Yankee Progresses & is allowed to start under saddle

JUNE: We focus on a ton of jump schooling and grillwork

We take Pro pics

JUNE: Yanks 1st dressage show with V

JUNE: Yanks gets to jump lightly for the 1st time since surgery!

JULY: We XC school again!

JULY: V jumps Yanks XC for the 1st time, she does a jump clinic and goes to a few schooling dressage shows

JULY: B tries the hackamore for the 1st time and shortly after I get seriously injured

AUGUST: Bad month for B and myself. Shoes prove to be an issue with B and he is on and off, and I am still quite inured. L rides B when he's not dead lame from yanking shoes off. I end up transitioning him to barefoot.

AUGUST: V & Yankee get better together, he's back in full strength almost

AUGUST: Last weekend in Aug, I try to show which is REALLY dumb. I fall off and we get caught in terrible storm

SEPTEMBER: Still weak, but B is killing the game, he is barefoot

SEPTEMEBER: I jump B 3'9 for the first time and its cake

SEPTEMBER: CRUSHED  3ft jumper show

SEPT: Might be one of my fav pics ever....

SEPTEMEBER:.... Hock cut, spends a few days laid up with swelling,  tear duct blockage then.....

SEPTEMEBER: V &Yanks prepping for fall events

SEPTEMBER: Doing well at Fall events

OCTOBER: I school Yanks a TON in dressage, V moves up to Novice. I have no pics :(

OCTOBER: .....B spends most of this month broken, with a stone bruise

NOVEMEBER: B is loads better, but I announce I have to list him for sale. Heartbreak and depression ensue

NOVEMER: V & Yanks ending the eventing season on their personal best !

DECEMEBER: I barely ride due to health issues, but bounce back nicely near the end and work on getting B in shape for sale

DECEMEBER: Yanks get a very chill December before Jan jumper season begins!

Overall, I really hated this year. It was as struggle in numerous ways, but I am GRATEFUL myself, Bacardi and Yankee persevered and pulled through to come out better and healthier in the end. Despite some shitty things like injuries and a breakup, I got to do some pretty cool things, like run two Tough Mudders, I got injured severely and came back from it, I went to Rolex and met some badass riders. I got a new job and my friendships deepened. I am halfway towards two master degrees and I learned a few things along the way. Yeah, 216 sucked for most of us, but it wasn't all bad! Here's to 2017 and kicking its ass!!