Whore Party.

Tack whores that is!

Haha, you guys thought I was lude and crude and a lil bit rude.

Actually I might be. There was a bachelorette party thrown at my house tonight that I was not affiliated with, but somehoe still ended up with margaritas. So I apologize for spelling errors on my page and others. I may or may not have commented on a few blogposts posts or five.

Some of ya'll may know due to Facebook, and or longtime-ish online friendships (yay!) that my birthday is on tuesday. I will be a lackluster and ancient 22. Does anyone notice a trend? I have a warped sense of time. But thats besides the point.

The tack fairy came today and I almost peed my pants.

My mommy got me horsey stuff this year for the b-day, which I was not expecting, because 22 is rather old to get gifties. Nevertheless, I was giddy.

But before that, please, gaze upon the mud monster of shame...

 Don't worry, his other side looks just like that. His owner is going to have lots of fun cleaning that off before her lesson tomorrow.

Luckily? the temps are supposed to drop from 65 to 17 in less than a day and we are supposed to get snow. 2 inches of it. So there's that.

Anyways.

When I left the barn to go home for my lunchbreak (to eat ramen, by the way. Delicious, nutritious and the first choice of poor bitches!) I arrived to find a box!

ERMAHGHERD a box!

You all know what that means! Its like, a sign from god your day is about to be made!

It was full of goodies,

I don't know why its upside down, but it makes me a sad panda. BUT. Can we please look at it by turning our laptops upside down? Why yes, that IS a eurofit pad and kerrits breeches.

Ever since I saw Katherine ride in one I was OMG NEED DIS.

In addition, mum bought these suckers for me and they are on their way from Dover right meow

How fuckng sexual are those?! I'm a sucker for plaid and I've been in love with these since forever. I literally never buy new things though. Even when I HAD money. My current shipping boots are these ratty, sunbleached, disgusting, mice chewed nasties. Like, no exaggeration. And they're covered in mud too.Got them from Ebay for like $3. They need to be retired immediately.

I'm just envisioning my shiny steed stepping off the trailer at a show looking hot in these bad boys.

If we ever get to show.

Anyways.

I rode in the new breeches and pad today-we jumped (pics for the next post), and it was awesome.

I'm pretty sure these are the most flattering pics of Yankee ever taken. So you're welcome.

In addition, the boy might be getting me the meyler combination bit, with new reins (the whore inside me is literally exploding right now) for my birthday, since I've only dropped the hint a million times.

I tried the bit out in June and it was perrrrfect. Literally. the mystery of the illusive magical wonder bit has been solved! I just don't want to spend $155 on one :(

Apologies to those who might think I'm sounding liek a spoiled bitch, but really I'm just excited. I never, repeat, NEVER, get new things and I didn't have to pay for any of this! I have nice stuff, but that is because I worked my ass off, saved up and bought it myself years ago. And then took really good care of it. I'm just excited :D

Jumping pics and post tomorrow!

Death to Mud

Ahhh. Winter.

Full of snow, blowing winds, freezing rain, ice and unseasonably warm days that create abhorrent amounts of mud. Its literally everywhere. I can handle the ice, but the mud just sticks to everything and makes life especially complicated.  I'm getting really tired of scraping mud off beasts, picking chunks out of manes, hosing legs and reducing turnout because the fields are torn to shit, which the ponies loathe. And its only going to get worse. I have mud everywhere. Car. House. Boots. Clothes. Hair?

Wahhhhh.

Miss Isis, Jackie's mare

Mr. Pronto

Lovebirds Fancy and Yanks

I've had horses for over 11 years and not matter what we do, nothing stops the mud monster. Rock, limit turnout, drainage...nothing works. And OF COURSE the retards always stand by the gates and make it worse. You would think they'd use their brains, considering they are all princesses and hate their feet being nasty. Luckily I'm a good horse mommy/babysitter and I hose them off every night when I bring them in :) But it doesn't mean I enjoy it.

What I DO enjoy though is being at the barn every single day. I truly don't know what I would do without my barn time-even if I don't ride. I love making stalls fluffy and raking aisles. Rolling polos. Cleaning tack. Sweeping mats. And my favorite thing in the whole world is hearing happy horses munching hay when I turn out the lights and close the door. I think I would go crazy if I didn't get to hear that every night.

 On a different note, I've had some very good rides lately.

Ayla and I went for a hack earlier this week when it was still freezing outside, but the ponies were happy to get out on the trail and stretch their leggies. Mr. grumpy nose lived up to his name and was exceptionally mehhh about the whole thing but we still put some good work in.

Been lunging when I don't have time to ride. Working on long and low as well as voice transitions. He's nailing it like a boss. I wish I had pictures. He absolutely loves stretching out and trotting with his nose near the ground! I also lunged him over a 3' vertical the other day and he was perfect. I'm REALLY glad I took the time to teach him voice commands as a baby.

I rode Miss Isis yesterday in addition to Yankee and it was awesome! Only the second time I've hopped on her, and we actually tacked up this time. I'm not sure what Jackie had in mind for me to do, but I worked on getting her to soften her neck and not fight the bit. She was fantastic and accepted the exercise very quickly. That mare's trot is to die for and I see some solid 9's in her future. Since she's still gaining muscle back after her injury we only trotted and didn't ride long. Hopefully I can keep riding her :)

Yesterday Ayla and I were going to jump because it was 55 deg., but got lazy and decided dragging standards out was WAY too much work. Luckily the horses did phenomenal with our flat school and we got some pics for once on the flat. Been forever!! I worked with Yankee long and low, keeping his back relaxed and as well as moving forward through contact. 

 

Made me realize how HORRID my dressage position has slipped, yet again. 

I've always had issues with my inside aides as well as crouching, only exacerbated with Yankee's constant need of half halts (inside hand, inside leg through outside aides). I REALLY need to get back into riding shape and strengthen that core!

Ayla had Fancy pants working nicely as well!

They were not amused with our picture whoring.

 Tomorrow I plan on doing more flat work. Maybe later this week I will jump, but since the ground is either mud, soaked or frozen, in addition to freezing temps ( I HATE you people in the south who are all like merp merp merp jump errday no probs), jumping really is not fun or conducive.

 Gettin me some OTTB love

PS. I have decided Blogger is just bipolar with the whole picture thing. I had literally zero issue today.

SERIOUSLY?!

Why in the FLIP is blogger so god damn retarded?!

I have tried literally everything to upload these mother loving pictures and nothing I am doing is working.

Do you know how much of a bitch it is to go through 110 FB albums and pick out pictures you want....twice?!?

Really effing annoying.

All I want to do is blog about Yankees life.

Thats all I want.

That and some chinese food. And an equigold euro style pad. And some shipping boots.

Halp.

A whole decade.

 Hope everyone has a bitchin holiday. MIne was utterly exhausting. I'm actually GLAD to be back in the routine of horses, work, sleep, horses, sleep, work. Like, I can't even.

As you all might be aware, all wittle TBs turn a year older on the New Year and my sweet grumpy nose is officially old as dirt.

He turned ten this year and I almost cried. They grow up so fast. And I feel like he might die tomorrow. I had a panic attack basically thinking about how far we haven't come. We should be at Prelim at this point in his life, I mean come on, he's badass enough.

I WAS going to do this sweet epic blogpost, but after discovering I document my horses' life like a human mother might do with her spawn, I realized this is a large task best delegated to a series of posts, broken up into years.

I also drove over 1,900 miles in the last 6 days and I am thrashed. Going through FB and re-saving all the pics (all have been lost since...thank GOD for social networking) wore my eyes out too, so this post is lackluster and full of suspense at best.

Most of you probably haven't seen pics from 2007-2011 unless you facebook creeped me hard, which is acceptable of course and encouraged. Though for those who havent, don't worry....I have mas amounts of pictorial documentation of our shennanigans when he truly was a little buttface.

To launch this "mini series", I was going to leave you all with a sweet titillating pic tease but god damned blogger is being a little bitch and absolutely REFUSES to work.

Here is the link to my FB if you want to see our first ride in 2007 barely 2 months off the track. I'm also in a tank top and sweatpants. Its beautiful.

(p.s. if blogger doesn't upload the mass amounts of pics I found and resaved I might kill myself over the 2 hours I will have lost. And possibly throw my computer out the window first. Gah)

Why It Sucks to Be a Boss

I've come to a realization that I need to suck a little more and be awesome just a little less.

I would get paid more.

See, I get paid hourly at the barn. More than minimum wage, so thats pretty nice. There are 17 horses there and I have to do the usual: bring in, feed, turn out, clean stalls, waters, hay, drag rings and sweep. It sounds like a lot...and it kind of is.

My problem is not the amount of work, but how efficient I am. Its kind of ridiculous. I've always been the kind of person to make one trip and do as many things as possible and have it be difficult/annoying than make several small, easy trips. In anything- school, errands...barn. I take pride in it actually. I feel like its one of my "sellable" skills (resume lingo?).

Its proving to be detrimental to my wallet.

Whereas the other workers rack up 4-5 hours every shift, I'm there 3 or less. AND I do just as good a job, sometimes better.

Multitasking here is not my friend and being efficient is cramping mah style. I've come to the conclusion I need to dial the boss meter back a few notches and maybe I will start to see a little more cash flow.

Tried it yesterday and it was painful. I hated it. I felt so awkward taking my time, walking slower, not piling the manure precariously (to make less trips), not making giant trips stacking hay on sawdust, not taking 2 horses out to pasture at a time, etc etc...but I ended up being there for 4 hours. Better than 2.5? Maybe. But I don't think I can do it long term.

It sucks being legit.

Scallywags!

I have an entertaining tale to spin for you all today. It of course has to do with horses. Some very perplexing and sneaky beasts called ponies.

I have a job working at the barn 3 days a week (sometimes more if I pick up shifts), feeding and caring for all the horses that live on the farm. Full and self care. Its quite a lot to deal with at 6:30 in the a.m. and I'm usually there until 10-11am. Sometimes later if I do extra chores like bring up hay or drag the rings, but nothing really out of the ordinary happens. They all know the drill and it goes smoothly. It actually gets really monotonous.

Today, I headed out assuming everything would be the same per usual.

First odd thing I noticed was a big pile of poop at the end of the driveway (where it meets the road). Odd, since the girls and I are the only ones who ride down the driveway to go on the road and we had all been gone for four days for Christmas. I kept driving up towards the barn.

To my absolute surprise, after I rounded the turn, my headlights hit two massive brown lumps in the driveway. I slammed on the brakes, adjusted my eyes and out blinked two sleepy ponies.Literally laying down in the driveway. First thing I thought was, "well, that can't be comfortable." Then I was like..."OH SHIT THEY GOT OUT!!!"

This was curious, since they were OUTSIDE the farm gate. Guess that explains the poop.

I was so shocked by the fact that I almost ran over two horses, that I just sat there in my car for about 30 seconds before I realized I needed to do something.

Luckily neither of them spooked, I opened the gate and they marched in single file like they had been waiting all night for me. Justin scoffed at me and gave me this look that said, "you're late lady".

I caught them and returned them to their stalls, absolutely baffled as to how they managed to escape.

They had been turned out all night in a pasture with 3 other horses, and they were still in the field. I checked all fencing, gates, latches. All fine.

Another boarder and I tossed around ideas but they all involved a lot of work. They would've had to be exceptionally motivated to leave. i.e-jumping the fence...and that did not seem plausible as they would've had to jump not one, not two, but 4 fence lines since all the pastures are connected. Mind you they are ponies...so, very short.

We scratched our heads for an hour and still nothing.

We got a bunch of houdinis on our hands!

I'm just glad they stayed in the property and didnt wander too far in the night!

Le Massive Update

Oh man, where to begin & end without seeming boring.

This might be a little discombobulated since I need to get back in the writing groove, and being home in OH, stuck in a snowstorm is throwing me way off.  Just thinking about all the time off work I am getting and not happy about it, horses to feed, shifts at work to cover, bills to pay...ANXIETY GIRL AWAY!!!

The end of this year has been without fail, again, a dreadful time. I thought after my dog died last year, it was the signal that things would start fresh and anew. But no, the same old shit. When one thing seems to work, another fails and I get screwed. I wonder what I did in a previous life to piss off the universe. I would give naything just to catch a break since I work so hard trying to cover my bases.

Anyways,

I left off with Yank's mysterious headtossing. Well. Figured that out two days later, much worrying later. It turned out to be the worlds most inconvienantly placed abcess. Apparently it had been festering for a few weeks. I never even dreamed of an abcess being the cause of his issues since he hadn't taken a lame step in his life, minus the time Pronto kicked him.

THAT was a fun experience. One night, Emma texted me saying that Yankee was pretty off in the front and had looked him over, couldnt find the agressor and just put him to bed. I would've done the same thing. Horses bang their legs all the time and like anyone, might just be ouchy for a few days. I was never one to run to the vet for every little thing. I find it a waste of money and time since most issues tend to work themselves out.

Found myself eating my foot the next morning though when I got to the barn for his farrier appointment and his whole leg was massively swollen & hot. He was also refusing to put weight on it. Great. I texted the farrier, flipping shit, tinking the worst, per usual and spent the meantime coaxing pony into the aisle. Dead. hopping. lame. Literally...hopping. I felt SO bad. Luckily, right after farrier man lanced it, Yanks was immediately able to stand on it. RELIEF.

Then, I had to aftercare to worry about. This thing was the mother of all abcesses, and right at the tip of the frog. Fantastic. Cue baby diapers, duct tape, poultices and stall rest for my little grumpy TB, I only kept him in 3 days before I was like, fuck this, he needs to go out, and just used half a roll of tape on his foot instead. He healed in less than a week, so I guess that was nice and all was well again.

Soon after we got back into work. We have a nice show schedule planned (if I can eventually make enough money to have some extra to blow) that starts in February with the showjumper 3'3'-3'9 division. Soon after, the girls and I want ot head to Kansas to do some XC schooling. GOD how I wish I still lived so close to the KY Horse Park. To all you spoiled people that have XC near you...I hate you. The first Event is in early May, then about one per month. I would seriously shit myself if we could move up to Prelim FINALLY. Years later.

Yankee had been doing well jump schooling the past few weeks after the abcess, and was enjoying his dressage and hack sessions as well.



Me umping him 3'3

Jackie taking him through some line excercises

Me taking him through some lines

Some free jumping, like a boss

The night after hte free jumping though was possibly one of the worst nights of my life. No horse mom EVER wants to get the call that their horse is possibly dying and the vet has been called and you need to rush out to the barn immediately. The exact words from the girl who called me were, "your horse is falling everywhere, he looks weird, he can't walk and we think its neuro. He looks like he's dying. We called the vet"

If there ever was a situation to freak out, this was one and I did it in stellar fashion. Every single horrible thought that could race through my mind did. Neuro. Broken leg. Broken hip. Stabbed in the brain with a nail.

I seized up and froze for a solid 3 minutes. Not sure what to do. I was supposed to be at work in 10 minutes. I had exactly $88. My baby was possibly dying. And I felt totally helpless. Cue mental breakdown. Like literally, I'm pretty sure my brain exploded. I sat on the couch and cried harder than I ever have before. Snot, coughing, rocking like a baby in fetal position...all the wonderful moments I've ever shared with this beast was running through my head and all I could picture was his dead face hanging out of a truck bed. Limp and dead.

Of course, this was all before I knew what was ACTUALLY happening, but I'm Anxiety Girl. Its what I do. I recovered, barely. And 40 minutes after the initial call, I was at the barn. I beat the vet, and I drove up to a perfectly healthy, non dying  horse getting hand walked in the driveway. Um...did I come to the wrong barn?

We never did figure out what happened. Apparently he hadn't been able to move when Emma came to ride, sorta fell over, couldn't get up, and they all freaked out. As would I. But in reality, I think all that happened was that he tied up, badly, after free jumping for the first time in a year, and after he got the cricks out, he was fine. He was absolutely fine.

Just makes you thankful though, I thought I lost my horse that night and I was devastated to the point of debilitation. Which worries me for when something truly awful might happen to him and I will be again, useless.

Soon after (I gave him a few days off and few slow works after that) that ridiculousness, he was back up and running normally and we reconviened with his workout program. Which included....

Myself on the beast...

...and Jackie taking him for a spin

 Gallops!!! Man this was fun :) Kind of a pain in the ass, since we have to take 2 horses up the road, sort of trail ride fashion, to the field where its safe enough to gallop. Takes a while, but its absolutely worth it. Yankee had a blast, as you can tell, and Jackie & I almost died from excitement. Neither of us have galloped in ages.

Speaking of Jackie, she is back from KC, Kansas and is actually moving Miss mare next week to MO. She is healing quite nicely from her awful accident that tore into her butt muscle, and should be 95%-100%. She already is being ridden at the walk and trotted on the lunge with no touch of lameness. I'm so happy for Jackie :D

More posts to come, now that we are back into work!