Friday, March 31, 2017

Final Decision


B is sold.

He leaves tomorrow.

Second to last ride on my B
I have no words right now. Still, and they decided days ago.

Just because this is what needed to happen, doesn't mean I wanted it to... :(

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Down to The Wire

You like that racehorse pun?

I do.

Anyways, if you follow my instagram, which hasn't been busy but is still a bit more active than this blog right now, you may have noticed that there is movement on the B front. I have had a serious buyer going through the motion of the sale process (one I am super duper naive about) and the final decision will be made this Sunday.

My gorgeous nugget

This entire process has been incredibly stressful and I literally do not understand how people do this regularly. Granted, B is my baby and not some random horse on the roster that I am trying to flip, but still, I honestly though I was going to implode yesterday. I think I have slept maybe 3 hours a night for the last two weeks, and I usually have my shit under control these days. Advanced apologies if this is incoherent, my brain is actual slop right now.

They first came out over two weeks ago to try him and loved him despite us being stuck inside to ride. It was a little bit of a trip for them, but I am glad they made it. They came back out immediately (literally, 2 days later) and rode him again, this time outside. They are legitimately perfect for each other, and despite not wanting to sell to a teenager, this girl is quite capable and a perfect match for him. Despite on being ridden in a hackamore, with no browband thanks to the cut (s) on his face, he was a total rockstar. A down payment was made and I thought that was the worst of the stress.

Strut strut
Then they wanted a PPE.  Cool, no big deal, thats standard OP.

Problem was, they are pretty far away, so they requested my vet come out and do the PPE. I knew this wasn't normal, but since they requested, I called my vet and made the appt for a few days later. He was on hold until the 31st, but obviously we wanted the rest of the process to go quickly and smoothly.

It has not gone quickly and smoothly.

My vets called me literally 25 minutes before my appointment and cancelled, stating "conflict of interest"(If they passed B and later on something happened, say a lameness, they didn't want the buyers to come back and say they hid something from them, since they were his treating vet). Which is fine, I get it and thought that from the start...but WHY DID THEY LET ME SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT?? Do they know how hard it is to get a vet around here??? FUCK.

I know there are worse things in life, like cancer, but I had to do some major juggling in order to get that appointment and get off work and all that and I was fucking ANNOYED.

Not to mention, the most available vet I literally cannot stand, so I had to call around and try to get appointments elsewhere. I finally secured one for Tuesday and continued to fret over stupid shit like he would have arthritis or spike a fever the day know, logical thoughts.

Tuesday arrived, I had moved my lunch around, gotten permission for time off, scheduled my day at work accordingly....and I got a text around noon from my vet stating she would have to cancel.

Pretty sure I lost my cool, which again is rare these days, and had a mild panic attack.

The universe was trying to tell me something I KNOW IT.

Then she texted me back, "I have the flu, lets reschedule for tomorrow at 3:30"

Okay, whew. Kinda.

I now had to rearrange my entire Tuesday since I was no longer leaving early AND now Wednesday. I am sure my bosses think I am just trying to get out of work, but little do they know about horses. Also had to cancel a Dr. appointment, which sucks since it wasn't 24 hours, I'll get charged, but whatever I GUESS.

So Wednesday (yesterday) morning I get a text from the vet stating she can't do 3:30 and needs to come at noon.


COOL YEAH, let me just rearrange my entire day again and make sure my bosses are cool with it and OH yeah I could've gone to my Dr appointment now. #vvannoyed

At this point, I am just straight panicking, because shit feels out of my control and I don't like it, and I'm convinced he will fail and I will spiral into debt trying to pay his board and have to live on the streets with Levi like some vagabond.. It was a fun couple of hours, with me chanting to myself to chill the fuck out because this was not the worst thing in the world.

So I get to the barn and notice that not only does he have a bloody nose, but BOTH his bell boots are missing. Of course, at this point I am just making list of things that are horribly devastating and these obviously are on the list. I was thoroughly convinced that the bloody nose would fail him, but luckily the vets understood that it could be from the rollercoaster temps here or the fact the the idiot bang his head on something literally everyday. 

He was a good lad for everything, despite the fucking freezing cold. It dropped 25* in one day and for the first time ever, I saw my boy shiver. We stuck him on the lunge, and did all the flexion test and he was a wonderful angel face the entire time. They even complimented his trot and how nice it is and I about cried from happiness and the fact that this nightmarish shit was almost over.


He passed with flying colors and the necessary calls were made and I could finally relax. A little.

They still have not made a decision, and his sale is all riding on how well he doe over courses when they come to ride him next. Which is Sunday. I am really hoping the weather holds out on us. Its 20* again today and tomorrow....mid 70s. I do not understand. 

Regardless, this saga is almost over and I am SO ready to be done. I feel like a giant rubber band ball that might snap any second and I cannot deal. This is why I am selling him in the first place...stressing out about money is killing me!!

Fingers crossed for Sunday, that is when we find out officially if he is sold and I can move from being stressed to being depressed. 

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Riding Sore

It has happened. After multiple people scheduling to come see him and then canceling, I got an offer on B, sight unseen no less and she will be here in two weeks to try him. My fingers are crossed in so many ways. Of course I want him to go to a well-matched, fantastic home...but I also REALLY need home boy off my list of things to spend money on.

Anyways. In preparation for being mostly horse less, hopefully soon, I have taken up a *new* hobby. I say new, because its not really, I've just gotten more serious about it since kicking the pneumonia bug. If you've read my blog for a few years, you may remember that I Crossfit. Or did, a lot. Lately I have been taking a step back from that and shifted more into powerlifting. Not sure if anyone noticed the thickness of my thighs, but uhhh, they thick. And strong AF. Its like I was made for it and I am not really made for CF. Way too much upper body work.

Regardless, my powerlifting sessions have absolutely been mangling my body. Some days I LITERALLY roll out of bed because I can''t even sit up. Its hilarious. But it does not make for a body that rides well; discovered this on Sunday.

B has had some time off (surprise to absolutely no one) due to his face wound, and has been kept in and on a strict regime of meds, just in case. The swelling finally went down enough on Sunday that he wasn't in pain anymore and was basically running me down to get outside. It was then I decided he was well enough to be ridden again.

Obviously though, a browband was out of the question. I got a good laugh out of it, and hoped that the browband wasn't actually a super essential part of the bridle and we went outside to ride, since it was basically 70* in February.

Considering we were both sore AF, I wondered how it would go, especially after a few days inside and about a week off.

The answer is great

He was super. Like, really great.

He minded well on the lunge after a buck or two and was a pleasure to ride. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, despite flopping around like a total goon. My abs felt like they might break and obviously it was easier to fold in half than hold myself upright and ride like a normal person, but he was still fantastic.

A bit hyped for the flying changes, but I didn't mind at all. He came right back to me and was completely relaxed and soft for the most part. He could have been a bit more engaged, but honestly, I was riding like dog shit and I let it slide. I was pleased overall, and luckily snagged a girl who was walking by to video a few minutes for me, hahaha.

My abs have since recovered and tonight I plan to get out there and do some jump work. V rode him yesterday for me, bless her, since I had a small issue to handle after work.

Mostly my goal from here on out is just to keep him in work until the girl comes to try him and hope she likes his cute butt.

Fingers crossed. Please buy him.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Anniversary of Life

I was going to write about my ride with B yesterday (which was great btw) and was then reminded by FB that the anniversary of the worst day of my life was yesterday/today.

Thanks FB, this is why I keep you around.

For real though, it was such a horrendous, stressful, god awful day, I legit forgot the actual date. I knew it was coming up but couldn't remember the exact day and truly did not want to look it up.

Whew, the feels are coming back strong.

cookie plz?
Despite wanting to take  step back from showing and riding, I still love horses fiercely and it gives me no greater joy than to walk in the barn and see my pretty boys staring at me, begging for cookies. Nothing is better than that.

yesterday at the show

To think that colic almost took my boy away is almost too much to think about sometimes, so I usually don't. Instead, I celebrate every single day I get to see his cute face and watch V work with him and kill it at shows (like yesterday with a 26 in USEA training level dressage and 67% USDF 1st level test 2).

I try to not freak out about the weather, but its been pretty wild in rollercoaster temps.

last week
I sincerely hope no one ever has to go through that ordeal with their horses and I implore all of you, despite any of our differences, to go hug your ponies and give them extra treats because you never know when the worst can happen!

< 3

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Proud and Not Proud


It has *mostly* been quiet on this front, with two exceptions. Life is trucking along, I moved houses, grad school is half over and riding is happening.

We did end up going to that dressage show last weekend, but they wouldn't let me bring B, which was freaking annoying because NC's have been allowed before. Whatever. I don't even like that venue anyways because they MAKE you get a $40 stall even if you're just showing in one class. WHY.

Anyways, V and Yanks were there to slay. She has been working so hard lately and it gives me the feels to see her doing so well with my favorite old man.

She signed up for 3 tests; first level, Novice USEA and Training USEA.

First level test was alright, but Yanks was uncharacteristically spooky at the judges stand and just a little tense. Not a shabby score with a 66%, but I knew she could've done better and they ended up 4th in the division (the division was SUPER close, like by hundredths of points). We discussed the test and she watched the video on lunch and came back to crush the USEA tests.

[if you don't have 15 minutes to watch dressage tests, I recommend skipping to the training test]

She ended up taking the top two spots in the USEA division with her Novice and Training tests. I think the Novice test was a 32 ( I can't remember, whoops) and was ridden quite well. Free walk could've been better, but overall I loved what I watched in comparison to last year.

THEN, her Training test. I honestly though this was the best they've looked together, despite it (possibly) being the first time they've done the test in a show (also can't remember). Truly was wonderful, especially in comparison to last year and I was literally crying by the end of it. Yes, they know the extensions need work, but she's just starting to learn them with him and he possibly could've had more trot but I was SO pleased with the cadence and relaxation. The other shit will come with practice and I am so so excited. Witnessing the blooming partnership with her and my best boy is seriously so overwhelming for me, I just love it. I think this is the closest to "motherly" that I might ever feel.

She is absolutely moving up to training this year, we just aren;t sure when simply due to XC. XC is the most dangerous part of Eventing (duh) and I want her to be absolutely certain that they know what they are doing. Its crazy of me to worry because its Yanks favorite thing in this world and V loves his gusto. But I can't help it! We don't have many chances to school XC, so I am erring on the side of caution, despite her killing it over fences this winter.

ALSO, his one year anniversary of surgery is coming up and its just giving me all the feelings and I cannot.

ALSO ALSO, a random aside, I FINALLY got the tattoo I've been wanting for ages but couldn't decide where to put it. This is #5, but it might be my new fav....

Then there's B. The other child of mine, who I fondly call "fucking dingus", "idiot" and "dum dum", has been intent on committing suicide apparently with two pretty ridiculous injuries in the last two weeks. OF COURSE right before people come to try him out.

Luckily, they have been understanding of this, but c'mon B.

Last week his cut  his leg up in turnout on god knows what and it BALLOONED. Luckily, it wasn't deep or too horribly bad, and went down after 2 days of cold hosing and was never actually lame.

Tuesday though, I had asked the workers to keep him on limited turnout (read; small dry lot for a few hours instead of 30 acre pasture with mud for 7 hours) to ensure his shoes stay put since someone was coming to try him Friday.

Oh, yeah, I put shoes back on per the suggestion of wise horsemen, stating it looks good for sale and shows he stands for shoes but also...

Anyways, I get a text at 3PM stating "B cut his face"

Um, cool thanks? He does it all the time bc he's a fucking dingus, so I wrote it off and put it away UNTIL I got the photo....

NOPE, was not. You could see the muscle in his face and a pretty good puncture wound to boot, so I promptly and reluctantly called the vet for stitches while also proceeding to have a mild anxiety/anger/fuck you horse panic attack in my car on the way to the barn.

The vet was rather humorous about it all and came in saying "what did he do this time", which I didn't laugh at, but should have because LOL. He was a good lad for the procedure and mostly just seemed tired and in pain, for good reason. We put him to bed and slathered ointment on the wound in addition to antibiotics and meds.

Yesterday when I showed up to tend to him, the swelling was even more extensive, which worries me, but I know its normal...

You poor idiot

Poor dude is acting like he's dying but allowing me to cold compress his dum dum head and begging for cuddles (which he never does). I honestly feel bad for the dude, despite him costing me another vet bill. He should be fine in a few days at least but damn.


Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Seller/Buyer Etiquette

I haven't sold a horse (besides Lily, who was taken by the first person who tried her) in literal years. Like maybe ten full years. Back then it was a project horse I worked with and my trainer did all the dirty work for me regarding contacting sellers and setting up appointments, so this is one aspect of horse ownership I am actually incredibly not familiar with.

So of course, who do I ask?


Specifically bloggers, because thats my favorite avenue for help when I am in need.

I know I have been pushing/advertising him terribly, which isn't conducive to getting him sold by March, but I can only do so much when I'm not riding. Now that I am healthy again and can ride everyday its another story, but I felt bad advertising a horse for sale who actually wasn't really in work.

My level of advertising
However, I do have THREE people interested in him and two are coming to see him this weekend. One of them is scheduled to come out in March (she lives out of state), which is of course kind of far but whatever works.

My question is, do I tell them ahead of time that there are others coming to look at him or do I say it afterwards like, "Just let me know your decision as soon as possible, I have two others interested and would like to keep them updated"?

I need help. I don't want to fuck it up/create drama where its not needed.

Regardless, he's been a total gem of a chesnugget and its simultaneously making me so so happy and incredibly sad. I will miss him. It still doesn't seem real that (hopefully) he won't be mine for much longer.

He really floored me the other day when we rode inside due to frozen outdoor and the lighting technician guy was there fixing the lights. He had his motorized ladder thing and was making a total racket. I decided to ride anyways because he needs to desensitization and advised the guy to ignore any antics. He told me that most people were completely unable to ride while he was in there and apologized in advance for ruining my ride.

I tossed B on the lunge just to let him look at it for a minute and I shit you not he barely even batted at eye.

none given

This is huge guys.

I think a year ago he totally would have lost him damn mind and made it impossible to focus. But yesterday we had a gorgeous ride full of beautiful transitions, 10m circles and flying changes. He hasn't even touched the standing in about a week, so I can probably take that off completely for now. I was jazzed.

Knowing he's finally a solid equine citizen makes this process a little easier, but still. This definitely sucks.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Shoulder Rubs

Besides being the most balls out crazy ass winter in terms of temperature fluctuations (fun fact: temp is rising by 33* today! GAH) its also been the first that my boys shoulders have not gotten a single rub. Interesting.

I have tried every blanket under the sun (literally) and have spent a small fortune on clothing my spoiled brats, to no avail. Every year they would start to pin their ears when I would start put their blankets back on and the dreaded shoulder rubs would appear despite my best efforts to keep them at bay with hair conditioner AND shoulder sleezies.

Last year, I replaced almost all my blankets with Amigo's, because sale, save for stable sheets. Luckily, the Amigo's layer well and I haven't had to use my older stable sheets at all. There was an epic deal somewhere (I want to say Dover) and I snagged four blankets for like $300, medium and heavy weight. It was like winning the blanket lotto. With those additions, I made a matching complete set for each of my boys, since they each already had the lightweights (nabbed them off ETT for dirt cheap). Unintentional matching, but winning nonetheless.

modeling his medium

I am seriously in love. I don't know what it is about them, but the boys have yet to snarl at me when I go to put the blankets back on after a ride and they have not a one rub on their shoulders. I am also a fan of the quick closures that can be done up with gloves on quite easily.

The only downside I will say is that they are not the sturdiest things. B is an exceptional shredder and he has killed two of the lightweights sheets already, and torn the butt on his medium. However, I am pretty damn good with a needle and thread and I just sew them up with wax thread and waterproof the rip afterwards. Better than buying a new blanket!

Yanks in his lightweight

Otherwise though, I love them! Anyone else have blankets that have just really worked for them?

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Alive Again Again

I know I always have an excuse for my hiatus from blogging and this time its simply that I took a semi-step back from most social media. Too much negativity. Also, school and work is killing me AND I'm in the middle of remodeling my new house and moving in. I barely posted on the gram, didn't read blogs OR post, and did my best to avoid Facebook.

Failed miserably to be honest. I literally can't help myself when I see ignorant comments, re the new administration, especially Obamacare because insurance is LITERALLY my job and people are so ignorant. I'm weak, OK? And like Courage, I have opinions.

Additionally, healing from the touch of pneumonia I had/have has been rough. Now that I finally don't feel like I am dying, I'm still reminded that I am indeed, not fully healed because I gasp and almost pass out traversing one flight of stairs. Thanks lungs.

Not me riding, cuz can't

Of course this means yet again B has been on a prolonged break. My friends did a pretty good job schooling or lunging him every other day or so, but he hadn't been jumped much or really schooled in dressage correctly. Kind of shitty when you're trying to sell said horse, but it is what it is.

My view lately
The good news is I got a FAT tax return, so I am hoping to take him to a few shows in the remaining winter much for funsies. Praying they pay off and its not a waste of my tax return, because I really should be saving it.

L rode him two weeks ago outside over some fences and he had way too much fun.

It was one of the warmest days we've had in a long time and he actually broke out in a sweat. Unfortunately we were riding during lessons because training barn, so we didn't get to mess with the jump height and had to jump what was being used in lessons during their walk breaks.

Can we jump or nah?
He was actually a really good lad though and only wrung his tail in excitement. To be honest I thought he was going to be a douchelord about the freedom of our outdoor but he listened pretty well even in the hackamore.


lemme at em lemme at em!!!

Trying so hard to be good

I've ridden him twice in the last week but it really is too much for me right now. I am surprised I haven't passed out trying to post his trot so cantering has been out of the question and riding longer than 20 minutes is too. That plus trying to move houses means I most likely won't ride much until next week.

I am excited about the dressage show V and I are going to in a few weeks though and I'm trying to decide what level to ride. I know it seems lame to say its between intro and training level considering he's def 1st level, but he's actually never been shown and has only seen a dressage ring once during his foray into eventing (lasted all of one show). I want it to be a positive experience so I am thinking one of each.

Also I haven't memorized a dressage test since like 2014....we might get eliminated LMAO

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Editing Videos

So I've been sitting here, bored asf, barely conscious, in & out of a fever, but weirdly motivated. One of my goals for today was to edit the video clips I took of B on Saturday and send the link to my trainer who's been asking for it for some of her clients and for a woman who's interested who's been asking for it...

I know, I'm the worst.

First, I had to actually DL a video editing app. SO many to choose from.

[[I bought the new iPhone 7 (well, traded my 6 in) with EXTRA extra storage because no matter how much I deleted from my old phone, I NEVER had room. Therefore,  I used  to film on my SUPER shitty OLD as fuck iPad, edit, convert then upload to YouTube. Aka took literal hours for one shitty video. And they were always shitty and I hated them. Then said iPad got so old that it could no longer sync with YouTube or my mac and therefore, all my unedited video clips are lost in iPad space. WHOMP WHOMP.]] 

I ended up paying for one  called Videoshop because it had the best reviews and I know I won't use it just the one time now that my technology and storage is up to speed.

Anyways, I bought the app for my phone because I JUST figured out how to get pictures to my Macbook.... I don't think I could get videos uploaded AND edited. I am ancient when it comes to technology, okay.

The app was legit though, you could edit literally anything, re-size, add filters, text, flip images, slo-mo, fast-mo etc etc etc.

Meaning, all I could figure out how to do was mash clips together and add some music. It took me LITERALLY 30 minutes to add 5 words of text to the video. I ended up deleting half the clips and had to re-do it and re-add text because I am actually retarded. 

Don't get me wrong, the app was super user friendly. But I am not most users.

I even filmed all the clips horizontally like you're supposed to, and they still showed up in the app as vertical and dumb ass me couldn't figure out how to flip 15 clips without deleting it all.

The most accurate representation of me today 
Regardless, two hours later (45 minutes for the upload on our country ass slow ass internet) we have a semi-OK 5 min YouTube clip thats more recent than shit from September. 


It starts off with some flat work from my lovely friend S, who came to visit a few weeks ago. Then super friend L who put him through his paces on the flat and over fences Saturday in the pouring and freezing rain. I was bummed we only got footage from the indoor, but this Saturday we are hoping to get something from outside. Unfortunately its supposed to monsoon for the next 6 days, including Saturday, so we will see.

Luckily, I've had a few people share the video on FB and its been viewed a few times more than normal, despite my struggles with mashing it all together and how crappy I think it is in the end.

So. Do any of you have tips and tricks on how to make a video. What apps/editors do you use? Can you give me a tutorial? Do you have a  few hours to spare?

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Down With The Sickness

Its official.

I got the black lung.

Highly annoying considering I have a horse to sell and haven't actually been to the gym regularly in weeks. Also even  more annoying because I had some weird strain of the super flu at the end of November and spent two weeks essentially dying and then recovering slowly from that.

I must have never recovered fully and ended up catching a strain of pneumonia that is set on destroying my life slowly and painfully.

Its just as bad as I remember it and I've spent the majority of two days in and out of consciousness.

It must have started as just a cold or like a cold, because I was able to continue going to work and surviving with mild symptoms. I was good to myself for 8 days and didn't do shit (aka went to my desk job and watched netflix at night, nothing else) which was SO hard, and it was miserable. On day 9 I said fuck it and lifted a little at the gym and got to ride a little bit in the following days. It wasn't until Saturday that I came down with a fever and it stayed.

Extra super annoying that I was sick on my birthday (Sunday).

I FINALLY went to the Dr when I was on day 2 of a fever and had the aches and all the other fun things that accompanying an illness more serious than a cold and it was confirmed that I'm a (barely) walking sac of lung pus.


I had been putting off going because I ALWAYS stay sick longer than most people due to a genetic blood disease that makes me anemic and gives me a less than stellar immune system. Having a 10 day cold is normal for me. Having a fever for several days following said 10 day cold is not.

*Begrudgingly goes to Dr office*

So now I have Dr.'s orders to stay at home and rest and do nothing. Easier said than done for me, especially with all the things I like to do and have to do! Who has show and book recommendations for me?

So in addition to missing work, not being able to ride or lift,  I also have an appointment with some specialists to run some tests and see if we can figure out a treatment plan for me and why I am always sick and stay sick. This may possibly lead to the removal of my spleen. Luckily, I have great insurance this year, unlike last year (Thanks Obama), but its still freaking me out a bit.

Anyone wanna take B off my hands? Plz?

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