Its been a boring week since my event.
I thank you all for the kind words and comments, you all are such a wonderful support group. Thus why I blog :)
I've been pretty sore this week but each day it gets better. I've been working a ton, since Tuesday I 'm going home for 5 days to visit my dad (and thats like $400+ wages lost and gas to and from...). He got back from overseas the day Osama's death was announced and I'm really excited to see him! The working part has sucked, since I'm stiff and can't lift anything, but I'm hoping I make some extra cash putting in all the hours.
I rode for the first time since my fall yesterday. H is gone for 3 weeks, so R and I have been working her horses. I rode Pronto, Warrior and Yankee and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sitting the trot was easier on my back actually than rising and the canter wasn't too hateful. I felt really floppy though and was glad no one was there to see me, haha.
As for the showing/jumping business...I will be getting back on track. I've been thinking a lot, and I'm sure I'm not the only one this has happened to. I am stilll absurdly ashamed of my fear and fall, but I'm hoping with Cheryl's coaching I will gain my "ooopmfh" back. I never thought I'd lose my ooompfh. With Spirit, my first eventer, nothing was high enough. I CRAVED running XC. Dressage was for the birds. I am so conflicted now. I want nothing more then to do upper level eventing but the thought of a stinky baby prelim course makes me cringe.
Slow and steady I guess, but it makes me sick. There are riders younger than me going 1* and I can't even get past Training. Even when I had the eventing sickness, I never had the money or a nice enough horse to go farther. I had/have the skills, but I just couldn't afford the show fees. It all really sucks sometimes.
I would really like to do the Novice 3 Day Event in Kansas City, since I don't think I will be ready to do the training level one. I have 3 more events planned, Including Queeny park next month, since those are the only ones not more than 4 hours away. I simply CANNOT afford gas for a show more than 4 hours away. Sucks.
I didn't even want to go to college either. I wanted to go full-time training for someone, become a working student. I feel like college is sucking my life away. I'll be 21 when I graduate. Younger than most in my class, but I feel ancient in eventing years. Sarah Mittleider competed at Rolex when she was 19!
I can't get over this funk of jealousy and self loathing. Doesn't help that its supposed to rain for like 5 days straight.
Luckily, I passed College Algebra and Spanish, so no more of that, and I am on track to graduate on time :)
Jumping for off the first tiem since my fall tomorrow maybe. We will see....Cheryl won't be there but her assitant trainer, Emily, will be. Its my only day off too till I go to Ohio. I'm going to miss my ponyface :(
OH, I got an interview at Petsmart for a dog groomer...crosses fingers I can say adios to food service and hello to something I actually enjoy!