Thursday, August 14, 2014

E@H Blog Hop: Wardrobe-Extra Ratchet Style

First off, thanks to everyone for Yankee well wishes! He's back to his old rambunctious self!

Extra rad Dino for Blog Hop
A little slow on the uptake but I was reading everyone's posts and was like I WANNA JOIN LEMME

So I did. Because I felt really left out on the last one, discussing all the extra neat topics with all the cool kids.

As any of you may be aware of by now, the blog hop question (BHQ for further reference) was:

I want to know about what you ride in and why? Show us your Equestrian Fashion choices and tell us why you wear them!

Well, my dear readers. There is a reason my twitter handle is Ratchet Eventing.

Completely, one hundred percent ghetto from day one.

I know I look well put together and really fashionable

But I have never been blessed with a swagtastic riding wardrobe (I have the short rubber "show" boots as a child. Extra classy) and most of my clothes come from discount stores like, Wal-mart and Plato's closet, or are hand-me-downs. The very few "nice" items I own were most likely snagged off eBay or were also hand-me-downs.

For example, my XC vest WAS a Tipperary- as a christmas present. My show boots WERE a super expensive (like $400) amazing birthday present. I use past tense because neither are here with us today. My vest was trusty, and lasted 10 years before it was...."lost". My boots were eaten by rats after 8 years of dutiful service... THOSEFUCKERS. Its okay though, they were held together by duct tape and on occasion, black vet wrap. My name brand breeches were bought with gift cards from christmas, years ago. They are still hanging on somehow, but with numerous holes in varies places. Do you see a trend? I keep everything. Until they die.

Without further ado though, I present,
Monica's Guide to Style: Pretending to Be Classy On Little-To-Zero Budget

From the top down;

My Charles Own Pro II I got off eBay in 2011 for a SERIOUS discount. You will note the very stylish headband keeping my helmet cover in place, because apparently part of the discount included hardly any grippy action on the skull cap. I've also fallen off 4 times with this helmet and probably need to replace at some point. I also sweat like a faucet and I'm pretty sure it reeks. BUT, my favorite helmet ever purchased BY FAR on accounts of comfort, function, and looks. #eventerfashion

Apologies for the seriously blurry pic of some of my super expensive riding shirts. 5 whole dollars at Wal-mart! But whatever, they are comfortable, light in the summer and fun colors! Downside, they get ruined quickly with my mega sweaty body. I'm gross.
I also ride in tanks acquired from Plato's Closet, ranging from $3-$5. Really good at preventing that farmers tan look by tanning shoulders and chest adequately.
I also consistently ride in baggy T shirts, cutoffs, or no shirt at all. I have not updated upper body wear in probably minimum 3 years and most t shirts are probably from middle school.

My gloves are one of the only "name brand" things I own, and even then the ones on the left I believe were $10 on eBay? The Heritage on the right were hand-me-downs. Other peoples sweat gets me going. But seriously, I LOVE the ones on the left. Whatever brand they are.

I didn't even know belts were a big deal until I read other posts and absolutely swooned over Mango Bay belts. I  NEED. Up until janking the above belt from boy, I had none. I might've worn a fabric belt that came with a pair of jeans you buy at kohl's in like 7th grade, but really I don't own many breeches with beltloops so I don't remember. I do adore this belt though for whenever I might actually wear actual riding pants WITH loops. Its very well made and looks like an equestrian belt, even though its for golfing #frattastic

So yeah, riding pants. Most of mine have been collected through eBay (don't fit very well/uncomfortable) or given to me by friends. They live here the drawer of forgotten pants.

I ACTUALLY ride in leggings from Old Navy/Walmart the majority of the time. And by the majority, I mean literally almost every ride. Sometimes I don't even wear pants. Sometimes I wear sweatpants. It really depends on my mood and the weather.

Blue heeler is helping.
I don't really remember WHEN I got these, but I know they were cheap. THATS how old they are. Also, full of holes for aesthetic value. I just tell myself its really helping my position because there is zero grip. In fact, they are really slippery. It can be fun!

I have 2 pairs of breeches I sometimes utilize when I take pictures, clinic's or really, ride in the presence of other people.

I am very fond of Kerrits schooling tights and breeches. They fit my curvaceous lower body without extra material, are very lightweight, and contain all the "jiggle" without pinching. I also like the pull-ons because no fly. Very adverse to fly's because bunching. You might note the visible holes in the knees of both pairs of pants. I believe they are about 5 years old and were absolutely bought with gift cards.Though, I definitely drool over Fits breeches #WANTNEED

Ok, even if I were rich I would NEVER buy socks from an equestrian place. Can you say over-priced. They live on your feet and absorb sweat. That is their job. If the sock trolls don't steal them first, they will eventually be thrown away. Guess where I get mine? Yeah. Walmart. BUT FUN COLORS.

Both my boots and half chaps are Ariats. My boots are the ONLY thing I paid full price for. I bought them in Missouri in 2009 and I believe I paid close to $250 for them. I obviously didn't take care of them, and they have yet to start disintegrating. Love Ariats. My ONLY pair before these were also Ariats and lasted me 9 years. My half chaps were hand-me-downs from Jackie over at The Wondermare. I ADORE them and have worn the absolute fuck out of them. I have yet to retire them though. My favorite thing is that my boots are brown and my halfchaps are black. Coordinating is not my strong suit.

In winter I build upon summer with nasty old zip sweaters, high school/college hoodies and Plato's Closet vests. I have a Carhartt I wear outside that was a Christmas present. Half the time I wear the boots you see pictured below and sweats. God, I am a mess.

Best outfit to date

Old Navy tights
Oh hey look, Old Navy tights

Those Old Navy tights are everywhere
Classic baggy T and wal-mart leggings
So yeah, that's me and my wardrobe.  I realize my stunning good looks and overall polished appearance would floor even George Morris and for a mere, oh $30 on average  YOU TOO can dress like me!

All aboard the hot-mess express!


  1. Seriously laughing out loud, you are awesome!

  2. And here I thought MY riding wardrobe was janky! ;)

    (Those are SSG gloves on the left, btw, if you ever want to replace them with the same brand!)

  3. Glad you joined the hop. I plan to post a new topic every two weeks :)

    I have tried riding in leggings and gotten huge rubs. Love all of your colorful shirts!

  4. You = Awesome. Finally, someone to represent the other half on the blog hop. I do not own, nor can afford TS breeches. I actually prefer to ride in jeans. Usually jeans I picked up from the local Salvation army, which I wear until the crotch tears out. Also wife-beaters from walmart, sports bras from Old navy, and socks from Target ($2 per pair and oh the fun colors!) I don't get the whole "name brand" thing. Who cares what you wear as long as you are an awesome rider??? Which I am not, but whatever, I do also have Ariat paddock boots, and I bought Tredstep Halfchaps (with a giftcard) that lasted <6 months. My old brown suede half chaps lasted, oh I don't know, 6 years! I do wear an IRH helmet, as they are the only brand that fit my oddly shaped eggish head.


  5. I agree that Mango Bay = Need.

  6. I love kerrits tights. LOVE. I also like clothing pictures with cattle dogs in them :)

  7. I also rock the Walmart tights....mostly because I don't actually own a pair of breeches because that would require money....

  8. Honestly, you look way comfy riding and that's all that really matters!

  9. I also ride in tights...but I get them from this place I call "the cheap store" because everything is insanely cheap and mostly neon....our riding wardrobe is very similar lol agree 100% on the socks!

  10. OMG I'm not the only one who rides in sweatpants! Yay! Also love my Kerrits tights! Best thing ever. All of my stuff is from Walmart or are hand me downs too except my helmet which was a gift and really needs replaced and my paddock boots which I bought years ago before I had responsibility and actually had money (and they are too small...). :)