I would have loved to respond to everyone’s comments on the last post, as I truly enjoyed reading them! Know that I appreciate feedback, and solidifying the fact I am not the only-non fearless rider out there! Fear is so difficult to conquer, and as we know, can sometimes be irrational. As an equestrian blogging community, together, we got this!
Bacardi recovered well this week and we had two rides before my trainer took over (thank the lord!) for the next 3 weeks. I recently changed jobs (instead of going part time AND full time) and dealing with the mess of insurance, 401k, two-weeks notice, new paper work…its been a stressful mess.
Along with Yankee, gym, sleeping and school, I knew I wouldn’t get to ride my healthy horse much, so this actually worked out wonderfully. Despite the $, its money well spent in my brain. Pro training, pro show ride, less stress on my end. Winning.
Our ‘last’ ride together was a flat session in 82* weather on Monday. I was NOT feelin it, since I was sporting a wonderful sunburn from Saturday, and I am one of the select few that loathes summer. I hate sweating, I hate being sticky, I hate bugs, I hate the blaring sun, I hate crispy lawns, crispy horses, crispy shoulders, fried hair, thunderstorms, not sleeping well, sweating and almost everything else the accompanies summer. HATE. And its only SPRING.
So putting breeches on in 80 * in APRIL had me bewildered and jaded and I was already like UGH for our ride.
Surprisingly, he was brilliant. Much more so than he should have been; I was truly riding horrendously. Like so bad. I could feel it before I even looked at the video I took of myself. I cringed when I actually watched.
Lately, I’ve taken to crouching, curling, pointing my toes down and riding with my hands in my lap.
Literally all the bad things you could do, I do it at once.
I do not understand how my horse stands it, and honestly, based off his initial behavior with me (when first purchased) I almost didn’t believe I was riding the same horse. Like, did I grab the right one out of the pasture?
|what is this creature?|
Perhaps he was zonked by the heat too, but he really was lovely for me despite the potato sack on his back.
Because of the heat and my lack of self-confidence, I really was riding without purpose and we most toodled with 20m circles and practicing down centerline to halts.
He could’ve been a wee more engaged and forward, but most of that was due to my shit riding, and nothing of his own. He was still relaxed (minus one random spook in the corner) and actually swung his ribs in the corners and strutted straight on the long sides. Transitions were beautiful and I wanted to cry I was so proud.
I’ve been thinking over the last few days though, on my position, and what exactly happened. I’ve never been a “flawless” rider by any means, but my jump position has been solid and dressage was correct, mostly. Now, both seats have gone to shit and I’m like, no, why, come back. I miss you.
|Come back to me|
|textbook, also no fear|
Part of the problem is my actual body type. I have insanely long femurs (like ridiculously), a squat booty and a short torso coupled with non-existent boobs. Not only is it incredibly unmatched and not streamlined at all, but finding the right stirrup length, or even a saddle that fits me is impossible. I essentially gave up years ago looking “correct” on any horse, but still took pride in my equitation.
Minus conformation issues on my end, battling the urge to return to hunter land has always been a nagging problem as well. Re-training my body from the hunter crouch to dressage seat took years and I sometimes still struggle.
|just look at B|
Case and point.
Then I got to thinking. What has REALLY changed in the last few months though?
My job description.
I spend HOURS a day curled over a keyboard now, looking down with hunched shoulders.
No matter how conscious I try to be about it, I still do it. Muscle memory. That’s hours and hours a day for months at a time.
Wow, that explains it.
|Just call me Ms Dame|
Hopefully the job switch will decrease that time spent hunched over on a computer, because not only is my riding suffering, but so is my Crossfit!
Time to retrain my body!
Tomorrow, we head out to KY for some cross country schooling. I love being less than 2 hours from KY XC grounds, and I can’t wait to see how Bacardi does with Supertrainer! I will take so many videos, don’t worry.