I Pledge

I've always been one of those people that can't be told what to do by mainstream society.

I paint my nails wild colors, I rarely brush my hair, I still wear clothes I had in middle school, I'm loud, I'm peppy, I speak my mind and IDGAF.

Take it or leave it.

In the horse world, I've maintained the same general attitude towards almost anything.

Take an ratchet old, ugly, grey trail horse out of a field and turn him into an eventer? Yep. Ride in the same saddle for 12 years? Yeah I'ma do that. Not start hosing my horses' legs, for 5 min, everytime, because some people think this will cause colic? (it doesn't).Not feed my horses at the exact time everyday? (they haven't died yet) Oh the horror!

I'll take your standard silly practices and stomp all over them!

How dare I!

Perhaps the greatest debate that invokes a lot of emotion and unwarranted sticking of noses in others' business though, would be the great "To Wear A Helmet or Not to Wear a Helmet".

My LEAST favorite thing about horse people is their constant and incessant need to tell others what to do.

I cannot tell you how many times on one picture on FB or a single post on my blog, someone has commented , "Where is your helmet?"

...Probably in my barn, sitting on my shelf because its obviously not on my fucking head ya helmet nazi, thanks for commenting on my decisions and my life.

Sure, this is a law in some states. Yes, it protects your noggin when you fall. Yes, its silly to not wear one. But guess what? I'm a muthafuckin adult and if I don't want to wear a helmet, I don't have to, and I would invite everyone to have more chill, not waste their time typing out those idiotic, judgmental words on the keyboard and mind their own business.

If I choose to not wear a helmet and risk my own life for a majestic fucking picture of my black beauty in a flower field, I would like the freedom to do so please and thank you. This is America.

But you know what guys?

I'm not going to do that anymore.

And all you self-righteous, helmet preaching lecturers can step off your high horse right now. No. You did not "influence me". No you did not "convince" me of anything.

I am not a dumbass for one. I am well aware of the risks of going sans helmet. I've parted ways with horses a good amount of times to know this. I actually, in general, always wear my helmet.

But sometimes you just don't want to. Like on a super safe, dead broke gelding on a hot summers trail ride. Or out in a flower field with the calmest mare alive, with a majestic setting behind you and you want your hair blowing in the breeze.

But then I think about it...is flowing hair and a nice picture really worth it?

What if...just what if something horrible were to happen?

My come to jesus moment was last week.

Not only have I been thinking (like actually thinking) about life and how precious it is, but I read the post from Eventer79 about why she wants everyone to wear helmets. With all the hate, sadness, and loss of life going around recently, I just can't step away from the fact that life is fleeting. Why would I want to risk that precious gift for a photo?

What really sealed the deal for me was when I got a text that my beautiful best friend was in the hospital after falling from a horse she was riding.

It was a total freak accident and nothing could've seen it coming.

They were simply riding around in a field and the horse slipped on the slippery dry grass and they went tumbling. HARD.

I choked back tears reading the text explaining that she had zero memory of the accident and was being scanned for brain injuries.

I was absolutely terrified.

I can't lose this

I'm 500 miles from the the most amazing person in my life, and I can't even be there for her. I couldn't bear it. The thought of possibly losing the one person I loved more than anything else was soul crushing. All from a riding accident.

Thankfully, she was okay. Very banged up with a concussion and some minor muscle strains, but all together, alive and safe.

Her helmet had to be replaced. Totally damaged.

It fucking saved her, guys. I owe it to that helmet.

It can happen. People have died falling from horses at a walk. At a standstill. Horses are unpredictable. Dangerous even (wait, so why do we do this?)

It got me thinking about my horses. Bacardi can be dangerous. This past winter I was frustrated, sure. But I tossed aside his downright dangerous behavior as  a vice. He could've killed me in an instant. But he didn't, so I felt invincible. It wouldn't happen to me. Never. I always wore a helmet with him, but still, the thought applies.

And then there's Lilly. She's the calmest horse I've ever ridden. But she could fall. She could spook. Anything, and I would be dead if I decided to forego my brain bucket.

Even Yankee, the horse I trust more than any other...same thing.

We get lulled into a false sense of security with familiarity. We forget that in a split second our lives could change.

And then I see a video on Facebook of a little girl barrel racing. Shes strapped into her saddle with VELCRO. Galloping this massive horse around the barrels. With no helmet. I couldn't help but thinkg "Where are her parents and why is she not wearing a helmet??" because guess what, shes FOUR. She did not "choose" to not wear a helmet like an adult could. How dare those parents! We are educated! We KNOW riding is dangerous now! How could they choose to let their precious child ride a thousand pound animal, strap her in with velcro, and still NOT think about how a helmet could save her life. Blows my mind. Put a helmet on her, please.

Wait. Did I just become one of those people?

Maybe

I now refuse to risk my life unnecessarily when I have the tools to protect it. I think about my life. I kind of love it. I love the people in it. I love waking up everyday. I love my legs. I like walking. I love sunsets. I love french fries. I love horses. I love water parks. I love hugs. I love weighlifting. I love all of it. Why would I risk that, why?

I also implore you all to take a hard think about your life & the people in it. They would miss the fuck out of you if you were gone. A lot of you have spouses. Children. Maybe even grandchildren.

I'm not telling anyone to do anything. I'm telling myself, enough is enough. Just think about it like I did. Is it worth it?

So I pledge. I pledge to never get on the back of a horse without a helmet, ever again.

And to all of you preachy mofo's out there, you can still fuck off--stop telling people what to do. We're all adults here. If they choose to not wear one. So be it.

I wont though.

Thoughtful Thurdsay

Bacardi is still lame as a 3 legged racehorse and it's making me sad/mad. 

Like, be better already. 

So I hopped on the Lilly Bug yesterday and took her for a spin, because why not. 

**sidenote, posting this using the app and I'm pretty sure the pics won't be very big/centered. I'm sorry. I hate blogger. 

Not 100% sure what I'm doing here but yeah. She's adorable. 

She's such a cool horse. I keep forgetting I own her because I rarely ride her, but she's truly a special gem. 

I usually dislike mares. I will not buy another unless they have magic feet or poop money. They're so moody and I've had some issues with bitchy mares in the past. Cannot deal. But Lilly rocks my socks. 

After figuring out that she cannot tolerate bits and prefers a hackamore, she turned into one of my favorites...like ever. 

I just hop on her and quite literally fuck around. She does sliding stops, canters from a halt and has the nicest gallop I've ever ridden.  

(Sitting a sliding stop is harder than you think)

She's an easy keeper (minus winter). She's never lame. 

She's black and shiny (childhood dreams) and swoll AF

She's sweet as pie. 

She's inexpensive as far as horses go. 

Plus she will just stand there until you tell her to move. A nice break from the fidgety OTTBs I'm used to. She's so chill. And does not give a fuck about anything. 

I love her. 

I feel like anyone could ride her and I wouldn't worry. 

And dat ass. 

Such a nice lady. I'm glad she's mine.  She deserves more recognition on this blog. Updates coming ;)

It's In The Air

Bacardi has been doing so well lately, I should have seen this coming.

It's happening to everyone in the blogosphere. 

So I don't know why I'm surprised. 

It's like, the horses know when we want to do stuff and things with them and they manage to lame themselves somehow. 

For my pretty horsebeast, this occurred Saturday, when I was supposed to be jumping with Amy at her house. 

Super awesome at giraffing

He loaded right up, I tacked up, I got on and we were just walking around when I felt something. 

I might have noticed something was off if he didn't always have issues stepping off the trailer. if there was any time to refuse trailering, this qualified. But no, he got on. And only took a little bit to step off. Taking 12 minutes was a little not normal as of recently, but in the past it's taken longer. 

No red flags. 

So noticed an off-ness in his steps. It was so slight though. So so slight. 

We were even joking how he had danced around a little when I put his back boots on. He's such a silly bitch about boots, I didn't even think twice about the possibility of him ACTUALLY trying to tell me something. I also didn't notice in the pic I had taken earlier, he wasn't standing in that leg. But that's normal for him. 

No red flags had been raised. 

I looked over at Amy and asked if she saw anything. 

And then I asked him to trot. 

He literally almost fell over lame. 

Not even kidding. 

It's like his hind end just wasn't working. At all. 

Of course this raised alarm for me like "hello this is not normal what doing" but almost didn't register in my brain. It couldn't be. Bacardi hasn't been lame a step in over a year. 

God dammit. 

Denial. 

So I hopped off and palpated EVERYWHERE. No reaction. None. 

I asked him to trot again. Same thing. He was essentially falling sideways and looked like he was literally dying. 

OK noted. 

So I untacked and left him in the barn while Amy and her daughter rode and then we videoed trotting him out. 

Due to an unfortunate mishap, I accidentally deleted every video I've ever taken and the epic lameness video was one. 

I wish yall could've seen it. 

Minus missing a leg I personally have never seen a horse that off in his life at the trot and look perfectly fine at the walk. 

It was then I noticed he still wouldn't rest on that leg. 

Wow duh. 

I felt horrible. How did I not notice? I made him trailer all the way there and now would have to take him home and didn't notice. 

WORST MOM EVER. 

no but really no one would have noticed, knowing B and how he normally stands, unless you saw him trot off. And he was so good about trailering, none was needed. 

Still felt bad though. 

I presumed it was an abcess. No joint pain, heat anywhere or muscle aches when I palpated. Zero. 

Had to be. 

So I soaked the foot. Poulticed his whole leg and foot and let him chill for the night

  I also texted my farrier videos and asked for advice. He was coming in a few days for the shoe reset, thankfully, so we decided to wait until then. 

I for one am NOT the owner to call the vet unless there gaping wounds or colic. Generally problems sort themselves out. And vets are expensive. Call the horse police on me for it. 

Obviously if his temp skyrocketed I would call the vet at the drop of a hat...but I was pretty confident this was an abcess. 

It killed me to see the love in obvious pain, but I kept soaking and wrapping to help alleviate the pain. 

I can't imagine how bad that feels. 

Sure enough, two days later, farrier comes out and busts this baby wide open

Nasty, annoying fucker. 

I knew it though. 

So now we begin recovery. 

Fucking horses man. 

***Sidenote I have battled with blogger enough today....REALLY having issues with the format. Fuck it.

Launching

Per usual with my posting lately, this is a little bhind, but better late than never amirite?

Amy from Slow & Steady has essentially adopted me as a 4th child and puts up with me begging her to ride with me every weekend. Generally, this consists of me hauling to her house and using her land and her jumps and her time, so lets all praise Amy for a moment on her wonderfullness!

She even videos for me.

Such love. Many thanks. Very friend.

So last Saturday we hauled over to jump, now almost a week ago.

I only think of this song when anyone says "about a week ago"

B has been LOVELY to trailer lately and I'm not going to say "it" for fear of jinxing us, but its going well. We are keeping it under 5 minutes now and he is stepping off like a gentleman. So proud I could cry. My jaw still drops everytime he steps on up like a grown ass horse.

Having not jumped in a while we started off low, but he felt great, really in sync with me and moving forward and back when I asked in each gait.

Shiny OTTB

Sidenote really quick- you'll notice that girth is black. That is not mine. I lost my girths somehow. Yes, lost. I haven't found them since the show and I have zero clue where they could be. How did they get displaced from my other tack? Did someone steal them? Where did they go? Do they miss me? These are questions I ask.

Little upsetting considering my dressage girth was a TSF and they are NOT cheap, and I have no girth for my non-mono-flap saddles and my monoflap jump doesn't fit him. So I've been using my shitty spare dressage girth and dressage saddle to ride this week, but yeah, girths nowhere to be found and I'm fucking annoyed because I just bought Piper breeches as a treat to myself and now I have to replace TWO girths unexpectedly & the moneypit only can give so much. Fuck!

Anyways, he was great. I'm STILL, yes still, learning to ride his very awkward jump style and we are still learning how to jump together. Since we've only done it about a dozen times, I'm not too upset that we still look awkward AF together. A saddle that literally hasn't fit me for years does not assist.

Seriously what is happening all over in here

So we popped over a 3 jump course, switching up the turns and raising form x-rails to low verticals. Bacardi was doing really well. He refused a certain x-rail a few times which is always baffling to me, but whatever. He was being super honest for the most part.

This one, to be exact, when it was a X-rail

Mostly, I was just working on figuring him out. I noticed he prefers a forward ride. Leg on, sit down and push. I tried sitting there and letting him figure it out, I tried holding him back...and we got some real awkward distances...

What are horse doing?

OKay, shove hands shove hands stay out of face, whatever it is

This is awkward

I mean, he looks kinda good actually, minus the fact he took off ten bajillion feet away and he skimming over the jump with zero bascule.

Literally the flattest jumper on earth until you raise the fences to 3ft then he's like "oh, okay, I'll try now"

After a while, playing around with our course and raising the fences, I discovered he jumps best when we take the longer (not longEST) spot and I stay on the aids.

Typical OTTB really.

Yankee is the exact same way. But he jumps "smaller" if that makes sense.

How a flat jumper cracks his back SO much I will never know but he tosses me so often its dumb.

I wonder if I will ever look good on him.

Its fine. We're fine. Just two discombobulated try hards working towards....? Betterness. Yes. Be better.

I just got a promotion at work, so MAYBE I can afford to get a new saddle soon. Fingers crossed I can work out a deal with the Voltaire reps I spoke with at Rolex.  I've always considered the horse first and how the tack fits them before me, but seriously this saddle is 7 years too small for me. My femurs are just too long and my ass does not fit a 16.5. At some point its gotta give and its obviously affecting how I ride him and our growth together.

Completely justified purchase right?

Sadly, not made of money and the saddle it too sentimental to sell/wouldn't fetch much anyways.

Overall, a GREAT learning experience. We are going back this Saturday, obviously, because BFFridingbuddiesforever, & work on some gridwork hopefully to get his shoulders up a bit and that weight back on his haunches.

Sometimes we look great all around

Bonus Corgi

Champagne Run: Bacardi

I don't know how some of you do this. I really don't.

The only time I ever blogged was when I didn't have time to ride, and now that I'm riding all the time (yay) I never blog.

I only have so much time in the day. HOW DO YOU GUYS DO THIS.

The show for Bacardi was interesting. I went into it with  avery open mind, knowing hes never been off property before this.

He led me into a false sense of security when he stepped off the trailer like a champ (this has been an issue, as well as loading) and settled right into his stall. Like, right in.

Give me cookiez

Yankee was notoriously not great at shows for years. Even back at the stalls, he wouldn't eat or drink and still goes off his feed a little when traveling. But Bacardi settled right in and ate like a racehorse (harhar) and even proved he can be left alone with a stall guard (looking at YOU Yankee, you trouble maker).

You'll note I said false sense of security, because I decided since we had nothing but time on Friday, why not head down to the dressage rings for a little hack-about. I tacked him up and down we went. If you're not familiar with the KYHP, this requires a long walk to the dressage rings from stabling, through other stables and past turnout for the KYHP horses, then down a little hill to the rings.

At first, he was wonderful, and I was like "FUCK YEAH my OTTB is not insane. I knew there was a reason I bought him, score score win win I win na na nananaananaaaa!"

There were probably about 35 horses between 6 rings and hardly any competing at the time. Good, gooood. I chose the ring farthest from anyone and decided to do a little trotwork. He was slightly tense, but otherwise gave me a really nice effort. There was a big grey schooling at the other end, but no one else.

Then it was like everyone at the show decided to come down to school all at once and suddenly there were 20 people in the ring. He was keeping his cool until someone blazed past us at the canter from behind and Bacardi lost his fucking mind. I don't blame him, ex-racehorse and all, but I mean truly list his mind. Like it fell out of his head.

For the next 15 minutes, I shit you not, he just backed up. Would not go forward. It was super fun, being THAT girl at the show. I was literally just sitting there. Doing nothing, and he was having a meltdown, just backing up and up and up.

I hope someone gets this

I was pretty sure the stewards were fixin' to ask me to leave. I kept getting "the glance". Mind you this is a HUGE area and there are like 6 arenas and I'm nowhere near the competition rings. I was like "way ahead of ya champ, but I can't seem to right this horse".

Eventually I was able to steer him, ass end first, towards the top of the rings and away from everyone and thought it woudl be a good idea to get off and let him just look at it and soak it all in.

Wrong.

So wrong.

The most wrong.

We ended up dancing around the bit check tent for another 20 min while he attempted to murder me with his feet. I was furious. This fucking horse knows ground manners, I literally drill them everyday into my animals or this reason, but he was completely ignoring all human attempts to ask him to please behave. All I wanted was for him to stand still for 4 fucking seconds and then we would walk to the barns.

It didnt really happen and I gave up and led a sweating, dancing, half rearing horse back to the barns.

Cool.

As I untacked and hosed him off (of course he was completely calm for this) I thought back to Aimee's post about why she doesn't event. I thought long and hard. Like, do I REALLY like this anymore? I had already sent one horse away to be ridden because I was too chicken shit to ride him myself...Do I really want to continue to be "that" girl at the show with the almost dangerous insane horse, while trying to do dressage tests with a horse that won't even go forward, and continuously fail and be in last place and hate every second?

No. No I do not.

There is much thinking to do. I know this was his FIRST time, I just don't know if I have the patience to do this again for years on end and throw away money at shows we will continuously fail doing. I appreciate money and how expensive the damn entry fees are, a lot more now that I spend 10 hours a day doing my commute/work adult thing instead of flaunting my tits over a bar and making $300/night.

I almost miss bartending.

I just can't commit to that level of intensity anymore. We might be better suited for jumpers where you get more chances, and ribbons and you don't have to be perfectly calm and on point every second to compete.

Anyways, I was a little dejected after that but still hopped on him 3 more times that weekend and led him around the grounds more than I care to do ever again. I rode alone usually, at a ring near the stadium jumping, but not too close. He could just see the commotion.

And he was brilliant.

Okay so what the fuck.

Like truly wonderful.

Loose rein, OK

S/O to my friend with the camera!

I even walked him up and down the path nearest to the stadium and he was unfazed. So, he hates dressage and is fine with jumping. Cool, sounds like most of us.

Mind you, the weather was HORRENDOUS the entire weekend. CRAZY storms and unrelenting rain. XC schooling got cancelled so we packed up early Sunday instead of staying and he got in the trailer in under 2 minutes. YES TWO minutes. I almost peed.

Absolute fav

Person, do you have food? (my mother)

All in all, a GREAT experience. Just not sure how this will pan out. August and September have a schooling show every weekend & I might try to hit up a few before summer slips away. Hes been stunning at home the last 2 weeks. Completely brilliant. I want to try our hand at eventing, but if he's going to be better suited as a jumper, so be it!