I've Had As Much As I Can Take

Just when I thought life couldn't get ANY worse...we put my 3rd min pin down last night.

After tonka died in Dec., we adopted a 6yo min pin from the humane society. I'd had a min pin in HS and loved her, but she died of a rare blood disease. Tonky, suddenly died of a horrific seizure, and now this. I feel like the dog killer.

He was such a goofball!

He constantly had issues with his health and required a special diet and frequented the vet often. Just last week he racked up $500 after getting extremely sick.But we loved him anyways.

He was on the mend, but still weak, and tripped going down the stairs while going outside to potty. He broke his leg in half and we opted to put him down. The damage was severe, and I didn't have high hopes for a good quality of life afterwards. I thought the best thing to do was let him go. I spent my last $40 to my name doing the kindest thing I could think of for the little guy.

So here I am, 4 months later, my heart breaking yet again, only a few short weeks after Spirits death, and a couple months after Tonka's. I feel like people are judging me. I feel like the worst person in the world. Maybe if I had had a couple thousand more dollars laying around I could have tried to fix Vinny. Maybe I just shouldn't have dogs. I've hadthe worst luck, and the only dog I've had for more than 2 years was my chihuahua that I spoiled for 12 years. After him, I guess I lost the dog luck charm. I feel like a dog killer, even though I do my best to provide them stellar care and I sacrifice everything I have for them.

SO now I have no drive to ride. Or do anything for that matter. With the combination of being 100% broke and loss after loss, I feel like I've hit rock bottom.

FML.