Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Resisitance is Futile

I don't know how hard it is for you all to get out and ride when there is nothing to work towards, like a show...but I have a tough time. My to do list keeps getting longer and longer and instead of facing the mountainous amounts of shit I have to do...I just take a nap. It feels great until I wake up, and then all the things are looming in front of me, menacingly, again.

Job searching is making me almost want to kill myself with frustration...you'd think there would be SOME jobs for a college graduate with a Bachelors degree in something worthwhile, but alas, only minimum wage shit jobs. I'm having lots of fun here.

So back to the horses...

I have issues making myself go out and ride when I know there is nothing really to work towards. I'm one of those people who is motivated by goals, and when I have nothing, it seems pointless (even though I know its not, but my efforts seem futile when I know I can't even afford the schooling shows here in town) to expend energy doing all the things necessary to ride. Since when did it become a laundry list & stop being fun?

Getting dressed, driving, grooming, tacking up, ACTUALLY riding, cooling out, un-tacking, cleaning stall, hosing off, turning out, etc. Thats a solid 2 hours. So much work dude...I'm either depressed or have developed an exceptionally lazy streak. Probably the latter of the two, fueled by the knowledge that I will be forever poor. Or maybe its a combination of both.

I'm seriously pathetic.

I'm also getting increasingly frustrated with the boarding situation. Since this is a public forum, I shall keep my mouth shut, but I really wish I had a barn of my own here in MO. It was so much easier.

There is one positive thing in my life (besides the boy toy, who spoils me), and that is the fact that I might've already found a leaser for Ponyface.

This is her, jumping a warmblood she leased in CA. Shes 28, and has a real job. Sounds legit.

She's coming to see Yanks next week sometime, so I guess that means I need to ride a little.

Thats all for now, blogettes. I leave you with a picture.



12 comments:

  1. I can understand about the feeling of "it's too much work to ride". That does even happen when they are in your backyard too. When you have other pressures whether it be time, money, energy it can feel overwhelming. The leasor sounds promising and that would be good. That would probably relieve some pressure knowing that Yankee has a job.

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  2. Dont discount the minimum wage opportunities because you have a degree. You dont know what they can turn into if you are willing to work and apply yourself. I took a low paying crappy job just to pay the bills right after college and it turned into a career. It was on a swing shift and due to the nature of the scheduling I was poor and lonely as all my friends were asleep while i was at work.

    Now Im 31, I make decent money, own a home and a horse, and I work during daylight hours.

    I almost didnt give that first job a chance in favor of waitressing because it was almost 1/2 the money at the time. I had no assistance from family and lived on my own and it was rough, but it ended up being the right choice.

    Good luck with your job search!

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    1. never really thought about it like that! :)

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  3. A leasor would be good. It's hard to be serious about riding when you can't see the light as far as ever getting to show again. The economy sucks, jobs are hard to come by, and you need some time to get on your feet.

    Boarding is the pits. ;) Some of us have never had a place of our own. Imagine the horror!

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  4. I haven't shown my senior gelding in at least 5 years. I go ride because he NEEDS the work to stay fit, healthy and sound. I don't always want to drive the 45 min each way but it's not about me....

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    1. Well, he needs it and I'm glad you're being less lazy than me.
      My excuses are that its not fun anymore, slightly depressed because after 16 years of school I can't get a decent job, I'm exhausted everyday after working 2 jobs, one day, one night, I have no time BETWEEN jobs and the time I do have is spent driving back and forth twice a day to feed my horse, who is on self care.
      I'm also just an exceptionally lazy person and when I have no goals, I can't find the energy to ride everyday.
      Kind of hate my life.

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    2. And I'm sorry if that came off as defensive. Maybe it was...I don't know :/

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    3. no man i totally get it. I went back to school at 27/28 because i was sick of shity jobs. so now I'm a certified phlebotomist and can't find work in my field as i don't have 2-3 years experience required by EVERYONE so i totally understand! I also suffer from depression. for me when i'm at my worst the only thing that gets me out of bed is 17.2 hands of pure Hanoverian sexyness!

      just an idea.... since you already go out twice a day to feed could you squeeze in 15/20min of hacking before you feed? it's better than nothing and at 15/20 min he's not going to get hot enough to not be able to eat after

      just trying to help a fellow horse dork and her horse beast out ;)

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    4. I HATE that catch 22! So frustrating!
      I probably could...I should!

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  5. Yay for a leasor (possibility)!!! Hope that shes a good fit for you and the pony :)

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  6. I hope the lessor works out! She looks talented. :)

    I love the tongue pictures. Wish I could teach Chrome to do that. So cute!

    Sorry things are so rough. Working two jobs totally sucks no matter what they are! I hate that... I hope a good job pops up soon. It is sooo hard to find a good one. It took my husband two years to find a good one after he got hurt and lost his good job. Hang in there!

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