Friday, August 1, 2014

FailFriday

Long time followers and close friends know I have the worst luck of anyone probably in the northern hemisphere.

Most people sigh and exclaim, "I have the worst luck ever" out of exasperation when things go wrong...but no. Truly. My life is ridiculous and full of catastrophic bad luck events and they usually snowball and never stop.

Its fun. Keeps me on my toes.

I wanted to share my hilarious bad luck fail friday story, even though it happened earlier in the week. Because its Friday and its fun to say failfriday.

To tie into my last post where I got sick of doing nothing even though I shouldn't have been moving about doing things like lifting and moving and all that, I still ventured out to get hay because I was in need.

I ended up buying 20 bales that I squeezed with very precarious and technical loading into my parents very NICE and TINY truck. I've never seen a truck with a smaller bed in my life. I also have scratched it everytime I've used it so they are reluctant to lend it to me. I honestly have no clue HOW it gets scratched because I handle the precious so carefully. That being said, I was confident the hay would stay and that it would last another 5 weeks or so,  and that I would not damage the precious.

Note my hay supplier is approx 10 min from my house. So no big deal, go 40 down the freeway, one back road and BOOM home with the goods. Easy. Not worried.

Driving like a good citizen, not on my phone, hazards on, cruise control on, I go my merry way down the freeway. Not worried.

Then, out of fucking NOWHERE this massive 8 point buck LEAPS in front of of me on the freeway.
IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. Why. What was it doing. Where was it going. I'm a hunter. I know MOST deer prefer to stay in the woods until later in the day out of the heat. But this inconsiderate asshole just leapt out of the corn because deer do not look both ways before crossing.

So I have .06 seconds to decide-do I swerve to miss him and risk my hay flopping all over the freeway, or risk hitting him and damaging my parents extremely nice, but almost useless truck?

I picked swerve.

Crisis averted.

As I catch my breathe and regather my thoughts and realize YAY I just saved the truck and possibly my life, I reflexively glance out the rearview and lol to myself because I see hay FUCKING EVERYWHERE and I'm like HAH SOME  ASSHOLE LOST THEIR SHIT ON THE HIGHWAY GLAD ITS NOT-...and then I realize I'm the asshole and flip to absolute freakout mode. Keep in mind this was all in 6 seconds flat.

I think my heart almost exploded.

So I flip a bitch, and assess the damage.

Literally half my hay is on the freeway. And half of THAT broke when it hit the road. Semi's are dodging the and cars are honking at me and I'm cowering in fear on the side of the road.

Almost funny.

So, debate what to do. Rescue my stupid fucking hay or chalk it up to a loss and go home with my tail tucked.

OBVIOUSLY SAVE THE HAY BECAUSE MONEY.

So there I am.  Frantically rounding up the whole bales and then chasing down FLAKES of hay and shoving them into the CAB of the truck while avoiding traffic and feeling absolutely retarded.

All I can think is DEAR GOD if my parents find one shred of hay in this truck I am dead because literally there is 3 bales of LOOSE hay in the cab. BUT I HAD TO SAVE IT OKAY.

My life. Its ridiculous.

And here's a derp picture of me and Bacardi because fail.


7 comments:

  1. I think the cleaning out the cab story is probably equally epic...

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  2. Because you are not hurt and the truck is ok (well, except for probably having hay where the sun don't shine) ... this is an EPIC STORY.

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  3. Rofl....Seriously I could see it all happening. That's why I thinks trucks should be treated as trucks they work hard at keeping up with our flaws... I've dehinged tailgates throwing bales a little too hard.... I mean other people did that, never was me...

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  4. Yeah....I have a hay on the freeway story, but it was NOTHING like that! Oh man! Hell yes because money. You chase that damn hay down and do your best to play dodge the speeding vehicle. It's a fun game.

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  5. LOL!!! I'm sorry but that is hilarious!!!!!!!! I totally would have saved the hay too! That stuff is too expensive to waste! I'm glad you weren't hurt and that the truck wasn't scratched lol.

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  6. ok...I can not deal!

    "OBVIOUSLY SAVE THE HAY BECAUSE MONEY."

    we need to be real life friends!

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