Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Hot Mess Express, TOOT TOOT

I don't know what got into me yesterday. A wild, burning notion perhaps?

I was like, "its warm, I also have an hour and a half, and also a perfectly good horse sitting in a pasture and I'm also stone cold bored out of my skull....LETS WORK THE BABY. YAS, LETS DO THAT"

"This can't go badly at all after basically 8 weeks off" and consistently terrible rides before that...

"No, not at all. We will just do some walking exercises, maybe some basic W/T transitions and directional changes. YAS BASIC GROUNDWORK THINGS LETS DO DIS"

I figured I would tack him up in his lunging gear, put a bridle on, but lunge with a halter over top so as not to pull on his mouth if the he gave me antics. I also planned on only possibly connecting the sidereins towards the end of our session. I was confident that even if he pulled his old tricks I could keep him on point with lots of direction changes and transitions and being very very calm in my mannerisms.

Looking like the essence of calm
As soon as we got out to the field I realized we would be swimming, and the mud was bordeline questionable. OK, so, ABSOLUTELY NO TROTTING. Just direction changes and giving with the nose, etc etc etc.


Yeah, no. 

The very instant I asked for the first direction change  after a few walking circles, Bacardi was SO offended he instantly everted to his old 'spooking-bucking-kicking-for-absolutely-no-reason' fuck you sort of behavior.
So I just sat there, dumbfounded on what to do, while simultaneously panicking that he would pop a tendon romping around like like Captain Insano (dont worry, his legs are cool and tight today).

I tried stopping him with some firm half halts and stepping in front of his line of fire (attempting to "cut him off"), but that just pissed him off more, so I kind of gave up and let him wheel around like a twirl-a-whirl on hooves while I gazed on in a half-amused, very disapproving fashion.


Really working those lower neck muscles
Personal favorite

I continued to ask him to "whoah walk" about a 100 times, and lightly half-halted on the rope...but to no avail.

And so he continued...

So wow. Very horse. Many flexible. Much athlete. 

...For about 20 minutes.

That wasn't the end of it though. My special red nugget had had enough of his dumb human and her commands pleas to behave like a normal horse and literally stopped dead in his mad galloping tracks, looked me in the eye, and promptly dumped  his ass in the mud.

O yeah get in there all deep like B, I really wanted to spend my evening cleaning tack.

5 stars for all around coverage

At this point  I was just dying with laughter. If you haven't seen the video I posted on Insta and FB you really should because you can actually hear him quivering with happiness in his roll. Jerk! HAHA.

After ALLL that, he finally settled into a trot tranter, which still wasn't what I wanted, but it wasn't as wild and unmanageable as before. Which was....good?

Pic not in chrono order
Then finally (praise jesus) he walked and gave me a few perfectly calm direction changes. 

At this point I was like, "okay, baby steps, HOUSTON WE HAVE A WALK" and brought him back to the barn without ever trying sidereins or anything else.
Note horse is still clean. I did not get any video of him actually calmly walking or trotting with his muddy self (this was before his shenanigans began, but still a good example for picture's sake)

Essentially I let my horse run around and be a fuck boy for 30 minutes and got 2 minutes of semi-OK things out of him. Something I NEVER thought I would be okay with/do, but hey, we all change right? End on a good note and hope for the best next time?

At least he had a good ole time. Not sure how we will progress from here considering our "riding field" is LITERALLY a pond. No, really, its going to be impossible for weeks now. I guess we will get really good at hyper hacking down the road!


  1. Those are some seriously impressive airs above the ground! :)

  2. I'm impressed at your photo documentation skills. I usually abandon ship when the leaping starts.

    Except with Courage because he sort of sucks at being wild.

    1. Haha! Like I said I remained pretty calm an just let him do it. He never yanked me around surprisingly so I was able to keep a pretty Stan hand on the video. They're all vid SS. If you saw the actual video you would know I'm not very good at it haha ;)

  3. LOL. I think it's better to just let them be crazy when they act like this and try again another day. He probably felt better after all those shenanigans lol

  4. I loved the instagram video! He is quite impressive. And his face cracks me up!

  5. His airs above ground certainly are impressive!

  6. I can never manage good pictures while lunging so good job on that. I thought you were going to let his tail down for work though... Might help him calm down...

  7. I tried braiding my horse's tail once to (try) and keep it clean, but she likes to swish her tail when I lunge her and I think the end of it was hitting her in the sides and setting her off - probably feels like the end of a lunge whip! I took it out and she was better after. Just a thought - if he's wicked super sensitive, the brain might still be bothering him.

    Otherwise he's probably just having a good ol time after 8 weeks off. Those are some SERIOUSLY impressive pics!!! And the rolling is just the most fabulous way to top t all off lol

    1. Normally I would agree about the braid but this is actually totally normal behavior in the first few min of lunging anyways haha. All spring and summer and fall last year it was in a braid unless I wa taking "good" pics. I DEF think he was just feeling his oats hahaha

  8. wow - he sure is *expressive* haha. looks like he had fun tho - which has to count for something, right?? good luck with your riding pond - hopefully it dries up soon!

  9. Oh wow!! He is athletic and I would have no desire to ride him during any of that lol! I'm glad he was just on the longe. The videos totally cracked me up (wonder why I saw those and not the Yankee one?? gonna have to go find it after work)!!