Wednesday, October 19, 2016

What Do Wednesday: Dead and Gone

Today's topic is a little morbid, but definitely necessary to think about at some point in one's life. If you're me, its at random times while driving on the highway, or while laying awake at night, or in the middle of a workout. Because crazy.

No but really
Often, though very randomly and without reason especially, I am totally gripped by fear while driving; knowing that I could die in the next few minutes with one blink of an eye or careless mistake by another driver. I then usually spend the next few minutes trying to calm myself down, but those fears are legit. Cars are giant speeding death bullets and the risk is very real.

I also frequently have moments where I am positive I have cancer, because my elbow is hurting, or that  I am dying of some unknown disease because my ankles hurt in the morning--because thats just my luck. Doom and gloom seems to follow me, so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if something simple kills me. I've somehow managed to escape near death  several times in my life, so I have a feeling I will die by like accidentally chopping off my finger cooking, passing out at the sight of blood and then dying from blood loss...I know, I'm a lunatic.



Usually later though I muse at my weirdness and untimely anxiety attacks, but my brain always brings up a good point. You are not guaranteed tomorrow. What happens then?

As an unmarried, childless young adult with no house, and very few assets, a will is not something that is considered standard. However, I will very soon have student loans (thanks grad school), eventually a car payment because The Boss is slowly dying, my bank account, medical bill debt, all  my random shit, like paintings and whatnot, the dog and two gorgeous Thoroughbreds.

What happens to them if I die?



Legally, per the state, it would all go to my parents, including the horses.

ummmmmm....




Love them, but I know what would happen. They would pay BO to care for them and keep them in work and then list them for sale. Not being horse people, I doubt they would vet the prospective owners much, and or car where they end up, then donate the money from their sales to charity. Mom might donate Yankee to a therapy program, but they would ultimately get sold and that eeks me out.

Also, as I am sure you all are aware by now, B is a delicate flower princess with so many opinions. Granted, he is world's better than when he came to me two years ago, but he is not for everyone. He is quirky. He is spooky. He snorts a lot. He is energetic and strong. He has opinions. And he is ACCIDENT PRONE. Finding someone with the patience for him would be tricky,.....and the main reason I have put off listing him for sale. Plus, I'm attached and all now. (yes, I bought him as a re-sale).

So much sass.
Thinking of where they might end up if I died tomorrow is scary, and it leads me to wanting to draft a will right meow.

I have a few people in mind (and they are aware of it) that I know would agree to be their "guardians" until a sale is final. I am actually positive Yankee would never get sold because he is an literal saint and perfect gentleman and everyone loves him...so he might stay with whomever I choose. It would take a special person to accept ownership of B, and I doubt that would ever happen. Just knowing someone would have his best interest at heart if I die though is reassuring to my brain though.



However, I legit have zero clue how to go through with these ideas, since horses aren't children and are more considered property, so of course I'm coming to the internet for advice like any normal blogger would.

This week I am very curious to know if any of you have your horses written in your will, if you even have one at all, and how you went about "dividing" them up. Obviously a lawyer probably helped with the legal jargon, but did you turn over ownership to someone, or appoint them a "guardian"?; did you leave them money to cover expenses until sale, or did the appointed owners agree to cover costs?


Seriously curious about this one...

27 comments:

  1. This topic is definitely morbid, but important nonetheless. I don't have a will (yet), but I know exactly who I would leave Roger to, should something terrible happen to me GOD FORBID. My trainer/BO has told me that I'm never allowed to sell Roger bc she loves having him in the barn, and the girl that half-leases him during the week loves him like I love him, so I would feel 1000% comfortable leaving Roger to both of them. Half-lease girl (HLG) is a fantastic rider and takes such good care of Roger, I trust her implicitly and know that she would always make the best decisions for him. And I've been extremely satisfied with the level of care that trainer/BO gives to all the horses at my barn, so I know that keeping the Rog happy and healthy is her #1 priority. GOD FORBID something happens to me, leaving Roger to HLG and trainer/BO is a no-brainer!

    Now, who wants to write me up a will?

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  2. As someone with four horses and six dogs, I really should be more on top of this 😐 my husband knows what I want done with my horses if anything happens to me, but God forbid we're killed in a plane crash together or something, my mom would end up with all of our animals. Yikes. Should probably make a plan for that possibility!

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  3. I've actually taken out an absurd life insurance policy. When I got my first grown-up job, I calculated how much each dog would require for an additional ten years of life (should have done fifteen, because those bitches aren't going anywhere), and how much Archie would require at a retirement facility and with medical, with a cushion for emergency. Then I picked my retirement facility and made everyone aware of my death plans. I still need a legit will. At the time, it was possessiveness of Archie that led me to want to retire him immediately. Now, the Kid's health is so jacked up, I wouldn't trust anyone else to care for him without pushing his medical issues.

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  4. I do have a will (and a "living will") and have since I turned 20. I have directions in there that a portion of my life insurance is to go into a trust for the care of my animals. Ownership transfers to my mother and even though I trust her to absolutely make the very best decisions for them I've got a plan written down with my wishes. This is to ensure that while she's grieving she doesn't have to try and make decisions.

    Come to think of it, I really should update my will. Even if you don't have a formal will it's a really good idea to talk to the people close to you in order to have a short-term solution and to let them know what your thoughts are.

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  5. I've been trying to get Husband to sit down and make a will- how do we each want to be buried? cremated? etc. Then what happens to the animals? He thinks it's too morbid to talk about, but I think it needs to be addressed. I'm ok with the animals going to my parents. They'll keep and love the cats (and won't declaw them like Husband's parents would). They would sell Penn, I know that... they'd put him in the care of my Trainer to find an appropriate buyer, which doesn't worry me because he's very agreeable. But the will still needs to be done to make sure everything is how we want it to be.

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  6. I don't have a will. I have discussed with hubs what happens to C if anything happens to me, but I haven't made anything legal or official and I don't have a plan in place in case we both kick it at the same time.

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  7. i have a will, and the horse goes to my trainer (along with some money, altho that's not in the will be my executor knows my wishes). if she wants to sell him or keep him that's up to her, but i trust her 100% to make the right decision.

    also she loves him, so she might just have me wacked to take him for herself...

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  8. I had to laugh reading this because I have the exact same thoughts (especially while driving, which I do a LOT). My boobs swell before my period (TMI? Sorry!) and I am convinced it's definitely breast cancer. Shoulder hurts? Leukemia. Seriously though, this is a very good thing for ALL horse owners to think about and discuss with the appropriate involved parties. It's not a happy thought, but it's important to have a plan for our animals should we... erm... cease to exist.

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    1. I am so glad I'm not the only one here haha!

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  9. I have to say I'm lucky that my sister is an accomplished horse person in her own right and between her and my trainer they would see my horse into a good home should I die. Or even keep him.

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  10. Also laughing. Just this morning the giant floater in my eye that appeared right after extreme exertion while moving hurricane debris, had me thinking detached retinas leading to blindness. Thanks Dr. Google.

    My plan for Val is a life insurance policy that will go to the retirement home I have chosen to keep him until he passes away. A will is in the works too.

    Maybe even more importantly - everyone should be sure to make an advanced directive - which covers your wishes for end of life issues. I had a conversation with a hospice nurse recently and (sorry to keep with the morbid theme) he told me horror stories of what happens to you and your family if there is not a legal document in place to make your wishes known should you not be able to.

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    1. An advanced directive....I had never heard of that until now! Glad you mentioned it, I have a lot to learn on this subject. Thanks for chiming in!

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    2. Everyone needs an advanced directive (called a personal directive here in Canada)! It ensures that your wishes are legally protected, and it takes a huge amount of stress of off the surviving families as they don't have to guess or make the decision.

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  11. This is something I've planned for; when I die, my husband will retain possession of the horses and will care for them until the end of their lives. (We talked about and agreed on this. I didn't just foist them on him, haha!) In the event that we both die at the same time (e.g. in a car accident/plane crash/natural disaster/etc), the horses will be given to a trusted guardian to be cared for until the end of their lives. (Their expenses will be paid for from my investment portfolio.) I included a clause that permits their sale in the event the guardian is unable to keep them for various reasons (her barn burns down/she has a terminal illness/she dies/etc). I've tried to be thorough and cover a variety of circumstances, but I still worry sometimes that they'll end up somewhere untoward!

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    1. As always, you are super on top of things! I might hit you up for advice on this matter, because thats my greatest fear.

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  12. I totally think of crazy things like that all the time. I actually do have a plan for Gen if I die. My quirky 24 year old retired Thoroughbred is to be put down if I ever die. I have told my parents, my husband, my friends, and even my vet. I also wrote them all an e-mail (a group e-mail minus the vet who thinks its morbid to talk like that)saying that if I die I need Gen to euthanized within two weeks. It isn't a will, but I am counting on the fact that my last wishes are known by enough people that someone will do the right thing and abide by them. I am not sure what I would do if Gen was a normal horse, but we all know what would happen to an accident prone, fussy, grumpy old horse that cannot be ridden.

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    1. That is actually an incredibly responsible thing to set straight, mad respect

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  13. My ottb is an adoptee from a local and extremely well run thoroughbred rescue. When I adopted him I signed a contract that he can never be sold. Should I become unable to care for him - the organization must be notified and he must be returned to the rescue. I have to notify the rescue, whenever I move him and I must send them a vet certificate of health each spring. This organization takes no chances of a horse slipping thru the cracks. My mom, husband, and trainer know to notify the organization if I should expire. They also live locally and would check up on him and some of my retirement account would sponsor him for the duration of his life. I'm lucky in that that's one horse worry I don't really have.

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  14. I like the guardian concept, but have seen too many bad scenarios to really be confident about a will being followed for the duration of an animal's life. I would much rather have mine euthanized, knowing their strange temperaments, than risk starvation, abuse, and/or a trip to Mexico.

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    1. I had never really thought about euthanization but honestly in some cases it might be the best and most humane choice, things to ponder

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  15. I have very similar fears! All my horses are willed to a special person who I know will provide them the care they need (it's actually three separate people haha).

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  16. I haven't written Murray into anything, but my besties and I have pacts that we will be responsible for and care for each others' horses in the event that any of us meets an untimely demise. I have meant to for a while (but obviously haven't because I'm a broke bitch) set up just such a fund for Murray that will cover his board and basic care for X months (X still to be determined) so that he then would not be a financial burden to said friends, just an emotional one. I know that they, along with my trainer and barn manager, will do their best by him, even though that "best" will be challenging and hard to come by.

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  17. Such a thought inspiring post!! I know my horses would never be sold if I died. There would probably be fights over who gets them between my partner, family and friends. I think its important that every horse person has something sorted if the unthinkable should happen.

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  18. You would probably die from your house burning down not from the bloodloss. I had a very specific plan and guidelines written out if I should die when I had Ramone, who my mom should send him to and use as an agent, how much money was too little, if she wanted to dump him, who to give him to etc etc. You gotta plan for this shit as much as you need to plan for injuries and illnesses and death of horses

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    1. The blood loss thing is a total joke and called an exaggeration of the mind. I def need to write he plan down though and make it solid in case my house should burn down with me in it ;)

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  19. I was always just crossing my fingers my mom would contact my friends to give them the pony.

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  20. I'd never considered writing animals into a will, but it totally makes sense. The closest thing I've related with is a harpsichord being written into someone's will for me. Granted, it doesn't need to be fed or turned out, but it's still an emotional-type "possession" (because what do we really own anyway).
    I think you're not alone with the thoughts about mortality. I don't have a deep worry, but I do often consider how easily a minor slip on the steering wheel could end up a sour day. I think you're wise for considering all the possibilities!

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