Florida (mis)Adventures

I'm slightly behind on bloggin, per usual.

Last week I went to Florida to look for apartments and horse boarding barns. From the get-go, it was a stressful adventure.

When we first decided to move (about 6 months ago) I was mostly just super pumped and ready to event in eventing land. There is literally an event within a 4 hour radius of where I will be living, like, every weekend.

Then adult reality set in and I was like, I guess I need to focus on a job. And a place to live. And one for my horse to. Shucks. I was having a swell time in fantasyland, dreaming up all the things I can't afford to do quite yet (like buy a second horse, and decorate my apartment really swanky and event every weekend and board at $1500 mo barns...etc)..

I spent countless hours researching, calling, reading and organizing apartments and barns. There were 82 barns within an hour of Jax. I emailed/called about 22 of them. I could really only afford about 11 of them. I only heard back from 8 of them. Great.

There were about a thousand apartment complexes. I didn't even know where to start, so I set a cap on rent and selected bathrooms, bedrooms and excluded places that don't allow two dogs. Apartment Finder is great, but really you need to just be in the area to find one.

My anxiety was skyrocketing. My notebook was a jumble of numbers, addresses and prices. I NEEDED to visit these places.

So we booked a flight and went down.

Trying to schedule 4 days of appointments is WAY more difficult than I initially presumed. Also, I hate flying.

I only got FIVE of the initial 22 barns to meet with me. And I had 7 apartments to look at. I was SO nervous. I wish I could've gotten more booked, but a lot of the barns were at shows. Didn't think of that when I scheduled a visit from thursday-Sunday. DUMB DUMB DUMB.

Also right before we left, I was got deathly ill. Like, i'm pretty sure I was gonna die. This complicated matters. I was miserable the entire trip.

The first barn I visited was...not as advertised.

I stayed around and chatted to be polite but left ASAP.

The second barn was Janky and definitely not a "show barn". And you weren't allowed to jump unless you were in a lesson. And there were two pastures. No hay. And the owner/trainer was a total BITCH. Ugh, no thanks. Bye.

I was beginning to worry. We had at this point wasted 3 hours (45 minute drive times) and I was losing hope I would find a barn in my budget.

Then we arrived at OHE.

I was entranced. Captivated. Stunned. Floored. In love. I HAD to board here. It was absolute perfection.

The owner was...like an angel. She has to be the nicest horse person I have ever met in my life. Genuine nice. The boarders...so sweet.

The barn. Fucking gorgeous. I can't even begin to describe it. Its not worthy of my futile attempts.

The facilities..I'm..I can't..its too...perfect. Two swimming ponds, 50 acres of gallop paths/trails, a GP jump ring, a massive outdoor, 3 barns, individual turnout or massive pastures, gaited, heated wash racks, a riders lounge, a full bath, lockers and absolutely gorgeous landscaping.

It was too good to be true. This could not possibly be a barn I could afford. I had written down that it was $550/mo. Theres no way.

Yeah there wasn't. I mixed the prices up with a different barn. Its $800. BUT there's a pasture board option, for $450. And its not even the typical "pasture" board. They still have stalls and a gorgeous barn to live in, they're just never shut in. And they're turned out together instead of individually. And in Florida, the grass is good almost all year. So, there's that option.

I want it so bad.

The next day we went ahead and visited two more barns, but after OHE I was not as impressed. I also had that icky feeling that my horse would not get fed everyday. I did find a second option though. Nice facilities. Its an old show grounds bought out and taken over by an ex jumper lady. The barn is like, 600 ft long and there's a dressage ring, jump ring and gallop paths. PLus pretty nice pastures. And the horses seemed happy and well fed. The only red light was the amount of rubble on the property. The unused old stalls barns (the 3 other 600ft barns-that used to be stalls for shows) were crumbling and untouched. There were large pieces of equipment everywhere and weeds growing up around unused pastures. Slight red flag.

I think we found an apartment too, so thats a relief. We also had quite the time with those. Several of them were in the ghetto and we were like...uh no. We had to up our cap price a bit to find a safe place to live, but its worth it. The place we found is beautiful. The boy is moving down before me, so thats a little stressful. But mostly I am excited.

Sadly the trip didn't go as smoothly as I meticulously planned. I was in misery the entire time being sick. I could barely wake up in the mornings and was suffering through all our visits. It was so sad. I made my self get up and go to the beach and take a picture, since we were there, but man, I just wanted to sleep.

All in all though we did what we came to accomplish, even if I didn't have the energy to extracurricular activities.

I think I will go with OHE pasture board for now. Perhaps in summer months when its really hot I will bite the bullet and stable him, but I just don't see myself being as confident with his care as I will be at OHE.

The Shit Show

There are various meanings to this title. Also WARNING: cynical post to follow, with some swear words. Back away slowly if you get offended by such things. I need to vent.

One being that my brain was a hot mess and couldnt seem to remember courses and I made myself look like an idiot in front of the whole crowd. Several times.

One being Yankee, who was a giant fairy the whole time. He reared on me. Actually two legged I thought I was gonna flip over backwards and gonna die rear. The fuck.

The other being the mess that was the judging. I don't think I will ever go to another show where the students of the college (a horsey one) are judging. They have no idea what is happening. No idea.

To begin, I was very positive. It was the first time I drove my own horse with my own trailer and I felt very accomplished. No one died. It was good.

Yankee was suuuper calm. I should've seen that as a warning. Never trust an OTTB when they're calm. They're just plotting evil.

Jackie came with Isis and it was her first show ever, so we hopped on as soon as we go there and puttered about the warm up ring.

Did I ever say how much I loathe warm up rings mixed with hunter princesses? They literally think they are the only people in there and they have right of way. DOES NO ONE KNOW LEFT SHOULDER TO LEFT SHOULDER ANYMORE.

Yankee was an explosive mess at first and reared out of no where straight into the air. I was VERY caught by surprise and almost died I think. Mostly of embarrassment because I was THAT girl with the psycho pony. After a quick reminder that he is now 11, he simmered down and gave me a few nice flying changes and some great lateral work. I was pleased again.

Put him away and began attempting to memorize my courses. Yes. Courses. There were 4, which is 3 too many.

I am an eventer. I memorize one stadium course and thats it. My brain is full after that.

From the get go I was terrified I would forget courses because I did at Ridgefield, twice. It doesn't help that there is one course, a jump off then the very next class is a similar but different course. MY BRAIN IS FULL. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Of course, in a self fulfilling prophecy I went in to my first class, a wimpy looking 2'3 class and promptly forgot my course before I even started. I circled four times before someone shouted to me th course. Went clear. Forgot the jump off halfway through and was eliminated from ribbons. FUCKING SHIT.

Second time I remembered my course but Yankee rubbed a rail because he is an asshole. I swear he does it on purpose over the little stuff just to piss me off.

 Oh meanwhile, he is ripping my arms off galloping around the arena and bucking like a bronc. Thus the barely any release over fences and his crazed " I'm going to eat all the fences" look he has.

Also please excuse the tacky screen shots. I haven't ordered pictures yet and this is all I have.

FINALLY we got our shit together and won the speed round, because, come on, he was really getting into the whole run around like a crazy horse thing. So that worked in our favor.

In the 3 ft non speed class, I got screwed because I was trying to be honest. I forgot my course...AGAIN, and circled at one end trying to remember. Went clear, and they told me to go to jump off and I spoke up and was like, "you didn't count my circle as a refusal?" and they were like "oh....yeah...nevermind". Um. Okay.

The VERY NEXT PERSON did the EXACT same thing I did, but didn't say a word about her error, and won the class. MOTHERFUCK. I WANTED THAT RIBBON YOU SLUT.

Luckily I beat her in the speed round because Yankeewas finally not being an asshole and was listening to my aids. But it was a mute point by then, everytime I came in the ring people were like, "oh THIS trainwreck is back". I shit you not.

I also had some violent words with the organizer because I was going in for table A round, not the speed and they blew me out halfway around because I was "off course". When in fact, they had the wrong class, therefore THOUGHT I was wrong, and eliminated me. I was SO FUCKING PISSED I actually cried. Right there in the ring. I was so goddamn frustrated with myself in previous classes and now for the organization elim. me that I lost it right there, Then the organizer chastised me in front of everyone, making me feel like a dick, even when I was right, so I mostly held my tongue in an outburst that is most shameful, now when I think back on it. She let me re-do my round though because they were in the wrong, but I was so so so upset and rattled that I forgot my course...of course. I WIN ASSHOLE OF THE DAY YA'LL.

In the last class of the day, I was finally remembering courses, but my nemisis who always beats me in the upper 3ft classes beat me by 1 second in the speed round. Her horse is the master of turning on a dime and we just couldn't shake her. I like her though so its ok ;)

So I did 8 rounds and only placed in three of them. I actually cried like a spoiled brat, had fierce words with the organizer, forgot lots of course, rode pretty crappily and was freezing, BUT in the end it was a learning lesson. I still had fun in SOME classes but for the most part..I was frustrated. I'm one of those people that cannot just be like, "its not about the ribbon its about having fun"...UH NO. ITS ALL ABOUT THE RIBBON.

No but really, I show to win. And thats it. I don't show to putz around and get last place. I want to WIN. And you're all lying if you say you don't want to win. I worked too hard with this horse to not have something to show for it and I take extreme pride in winning, and extreme failure in losing.

Yankee is still adorable and my favorite even if he was a dick for most of the show. Sometimes you gotta suck to humble yourself right?

Stop Being Better Than Me

As many of you may know by now, I am heading off to FL in January, permanently. Much excite.

On Wednesday of next will I will there 6 whole days to apartment and barn search. If anyone knows of any barns in the Jacksonville area that aren't $1200/mo in board that would be great. I only have 2 in a realistic budget that has eventing riders. (I very much dislike boarding without people who ride my discipline...don't judge me)

I have a friend riding Yankee while I'm gone. Even though our last show until we move was today (later post on that bipolar shit show/fucking epic time), he loses his topline after a week of inactivity. CURSE THAT TB-ness.

She already schooled him on the flat and literally made him look more amazing in 20 minutes than I ever could in 8 years.

Granted she is classically trained and one of the best riders I've seen in a while when it comes to dressage. Her expensive lessons really paid off.

She hadn't jumped in over a year and was a little apprehensive about it. I wanted him worked once over small jumps while I'm gone, just to keep him happy. I told her he is a point and shoot kinda guy, but you can't drop him or get forward or he MIGHT refuse (my forever curse thanks to showing HJ eq for 6 years). But he is solid and anyone can jump him. Anyone.

She nailed it from the get-go. He loved her.

God dammit woman stop being better than me! Haha. I was like yay, but at the same time I'm like, why can't I look like that all the time. Why do I continuously make mistakes and get a bad spot or make him mistrust me for a few seconds. I applaud her steady riding and am hella envious.

She made me feel better by reassuring me that if I hadn't trained him so well he wouldn't be so fab. I mean, I can agree with that- I've literally put blood sweat and tears into that horse and he is my life. I'm just glad when people notice how much effort I have spent into making him the way he is.

Jackie put it the best. She said I'm the one who has had to deal with all his shit. Made all the mistakes, and then corrected them. It still bruises me though when someone can just hop up and be flawless.

Much jealousy.

We rode in her saddle too just for shits and gigs. I am madly in like with the color and it was like sitting on a cloud.

I hopped on too since I wanted to practice for the show today. I felt shaky and off my game, but Yankee was pretty on point and it was a good school in the end.

I shall blog about the show today when I recover from a horse show hangover and an actual hangover (Mizzou game day saturdays are...very fun)

DEUCES

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

(Jackie took the pony face on a hunter pace with A and Fancy this past Sunday. I sadly worked all day, so I couldn't attend, but the horse at least got out and had fun on an amazing fall day!)

Also, check out the frickin sweet contest over at Sprinkler Bandits (seriously bitchin prize)

Stupid Human Tricks

First off, this is my 360th post, woot woot, even number!

I'm very appreciative of all my compliments, readers and advice givers that read the bullshit that is my rambling. I'm sorry I hardly ever answer anyone's commentary! I rarely am home to use my computer and answer all comments, and my app doesn't let me comment from my phone! UGH!

There's no easy way to start this post. I should've named it "Tales of an overconfident daredevil stupidface rider" cuz that was me Friday.

I fell off for the first time in over a year. It WAS by choice, but still, an exceptionally ungraceful emergency dismount.

I blame Instagram.

I LOVE instagram. Like seriously, I am on it at least 3 times daily, scrolling through the feed, looking at all the pretty pictures. Especially all the cool ones. Like bareback and tackless jumping.

I LOVE looking at other riders and their horses, and I love getting new ideas from them! Jump ideas, training tips, etc etc.

I decided friday I would work on bareback jumping (totally easy for me) and dabble in some tackless jumping, because you know, YOLO.

I was alone, so I spent a good portion of 30 minutes setting up standards just right so I could video myself, like a total loser.

My plan was to warm up over some fences bareback, attempt a few without reins then go full tackless. It started off seriously amazing. We were in sync...

..He was jumping nicely....

And I never once slipped around...

..good right?

So I dropped the reins and practiced steering and stopping with my legs and seat. WONDERFUL. I was like, so connected with my horse.

 so then I popped him over the barrels twice with no bridle, no saddle and I was all like

you know, all overconfident and conceited like.

Then I pointed him at the oxer...

I sat back, said whoa and he stopped and was like, this is weird but I can get down with this.

So of course what did I have to go do the next time?

NO hands, no tack, duh.

And NOTE THE HORRID ANGRY FACE Yankee has.

Yeah. He did not approve of that slick move.

He landed, bucked and BOLTED.

um.

Luckily he stayed within the confines of the arena but I was HAULING on the "oh shit" neck strap and whoahing like my life depended on it (oh, right, it did). I contemplated steering him into a corner with my legs, but was absolutely sure he would attempt to jump it. And there's a massive drop on the other side AND electric wiring.

I don't  know if you've ever been on a horse that has decided running and never stopping is the right idea, but it is like attempting to stop a freight train. Literally impossible. Especially one who used to race and currently was wearing only a neck strap.

So on lap 3 of mad fucking gallop of death, I decided it would be best to risk breaking a bone and bail, than almost certainly die on pissed bolting thoroughbred.  I mustered up all my courage, and bailed. I pushed away as hard as I could but I was sure he was going to trample me to death anyways

Have you ever fallen in slo-mo?

I'm pretty sure thats what happened to me, as I fell I contemplated what made me decide riding like this was a grand idea. And then I hit the ground very hard. And then I laid there, not able to breathe, certain I broke all of my ribs on my left side, and maybe my hip.

Of course Yankee stops immediately and looks at me like,

Its safe to say I will never attempt to jump tackless with  no hands never again. I KNEW he didn't like that move, even fully clothed so I'm really not sure what mad eme do it. I'll plead insanity for now.

Don't judge me.

Fully recovered from getting the wind knocked out of me, I threw on some tack, dug sand out of my butt and jumped right back on. You must. Strangely after my brush with death I was not shaken, merely, ashamed of my stupidity.

At least I got back on.

So I will leave you (all shaking your heads) with this picture of Yankee's ass.

Ride All the Horses PT III-IV

Since I have been just THE WORST blogger the past week, I'm going to condense my last few rides into just pictures.

After I rode Gid the bad pony I flatted the Yankee pony, working on relaxing the neck and moving forward with dat trot. I also tried out the black sheepskin thin- line pad. (Christmas liiiiiiist!)

Working on moving forward

Looking very relaxed & forward!

Haunches on helped a little

Sadly he will never have a bomb ass trot for dressage. If he was in the hunter ring, I think they'd die for it because he's pretty flat and non expressive, but it still looks flowy. Just not what judges in dressage want to see. Forever trot less.

The day after we jumped and it was just fantamiscal.

Minus the one time he took off about 4 feet early and I almost died

dat bounce doh

He was like a loaded rocket that day!

We also did some bow work

Yesterday, I let my horseless friend hop on Yankee for a bit. Her horse died in a freak accident a year ago and she was itching to ride. I felt so bad for her :( She's actually a seriously awesome rider and has been trained in dressage. She had Yankee looking ridiculously good...like, better than I can ride him.

They worked on a little shoulder fore since he HATES it and general forward moving. For not having ridden in a whole year she looked amazing. Yankee really liked her!

And yes, pony face is sportin a fresh new 'do. Clipped by yours truly.

Might do flames on a friends horse.

I think I'm all caught up now! Jumping tomorrow!