Change In Plans

Many many many things have happened since I last posted. I was just feeling lackluster about all the happenings and have been rather...blah lately. Depressed is the wrong word. Just, unmotivated...hot...bored...overwhelmed with my procrastinations...

Oh I know the word.

Summer.

So things around the barn have sort of taken a 180 flip.

Yankees been doing a lot of this...

...and I've been doing a whole lot of not riding. The temps have been fluctuating from high 70s to high 90s for about two weeks and it is currently face melting hot outside. That's why I'm in the AC...blogging.

After about 2 weeks of barely riding, and helping Jackie get ready for Queeny, she made the educated decision to not ride at Queeny and have me ride Mr. Refusealot at the first USEA show of the year and the schooling show this past Saturday.

Que panic.

After this infamous day in 2010...

 ...where I lost my nerve about jumping almost entirely...

...and last May, almost exactly a year ago, where I fell off of Yankee and at a show for the first time in my life and cracked my back and head pretty good on the XC fence..,

...jumping my horse confidently has been an issue.

You wouldn't know it because I don't ever tell anyone, but half the time I end up bracing for who-knows-what right before he takes off, which causes him to jump like shit, or refuse. I dropped to Novice last year to get my nerve back, but I ended up shaking so badly before each jumping phase that I choked. Luckily, he's a boss and Novice is basically sticks on the ground for him. I thought leasing him out would help our issue and Jackie proved to be a mass beast at jumping.

Lately though he's even been refusing with her. I thought we fixed it last week during XC schooling for good but I guess not :(

So I went to the schooling CT Saturday with major apprehension. Luckily I came armed with studs for extra gription on the shitty, hard, slippery ground and I attempted at having a positive attitude.

Funny pic intercession...

Gravel roads.

 I did a first level test for warm up and ended up with a 65%. Not bad, but it wasn't good enough for me, haha. I LOATHE dressage in grass rings, and the second extended canter was on a DOWNHILL (wtf) and Yankee got a titch nervous and lost his balance for the last 1/3 of the test. Still though, better than he was  2-3 years ago when we couldn't even get a 30 (USEA) or a 60%.

We did our training Level dressage test almost right after and he was a gem. His lengthen trot was bleh, but again, the footing was slippery and I didn't stud for dressage. Overall he was relaxed, balanced and listening. We got a 34, which I again was not happy with. At the last CT we got a 32 and I was intent on beating myself with a goal of 31. Eventually I would love a 28-29, but with an OTTB that may or may not be entirely realistic.

I watched and memorized the stadium course, which was basically the worst course ever invented. Like, ever. I'm glad I studded for it.

I warmed up just fine. I galloped him out twice to get him forward and he was ATTACKING the fences, which I was happy about. AS long as we stayed forward and I rode him like my life depended on it, we would be fine....

GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH GAH<---that was me hyperventilating.

So stupid. This was such a tiny PRACTICE show and I couldn't even keep it together.

Luckily he was on his game and the first 3 fences went very well. The fourth was not only a stupid awkward approach, but in the trees, shadowed and a dip before it. He refused this exact fence 3 weeks ago at the last show about 4 times. I got an inch ahead of him and he refused.

Great.

He took it he second time after I reminded him that he could do this in his sleep.

The rest of the course was perfect. He hapily rated where needed, jumped like a boss and turned on a dime. He attacked the triple combo and I was pleased.

I think I didn't breathe the whole time.

Weirdly, we had time faults, which was a theme of the day. Even the BN people had faults, which is unheard of. Tells you something about the course design. I was hauling ass where I had room, and I STILL got faults.

So anyways to end this novel and pick it up later with my thoughts anxiety about Queeny, here's our winnings from Saturday!

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