Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Big Girl Panties

As I sit here listening to my rap music, chomping on carrots and chugging coffee during my break after-work-before-work (job hopping is the most fun) I realized I found a renewed vigor for horsey life.

Could be that I'm moving to server at work. (I realize this is super prestegious position and I want you all to curb your jealousy for a hot minute before you get green with envy over that one. I'm not even mad bro. Sure, I'm a college graduate with 3 part time, minimum wage jobs, but at least I HAVE a job(s).) Could be that the Luke Bryan concert my boy bought us tickets for, is THIS Saturday. Could be that I had two AMAZING rides on the grumpynose this week. Could be that my lady time is now over. Or that spring is around the corner and all I can think about it show season. I don't know, but I'm just in a better mood, despite my downfalls.

Either way, its a relief not feeling so anxious and wound tighter than a two year old racehorse at his first race. I have major issues keeping myself calm and I'm pretty sure I actually need xanex prescribed to me to ingest on a daily basis so I don't have panic attacks but I feel the "ignore it until I can do something about it" or "it is the way it is" attitude works pretty good right now. No use stressing over things I literally have zero power to change. I had to put my big girl panties on and realize I have more than most do and even though I probably should be on welfare because I rarely eat anything besides carrots and protein shakes & I can barely pay rent, I don't believe in that system. I prefer to be poor and EARN my money. That gives me purpose. One day I will find my niche. I graduated college early and I'm only 22. Lots of life yet to live with my horse(s), boy and dog.

So thats how I beat my winter blues. I hope with Spring around the corner everyone is seeing the light in the wintery chasm. Despite the winter shitstorm headed our way, I'm trying to keep my head up. I just see it as a chance to play in the snow :)

As I mentioned, Yankee was amazing in the 2 flatwork rides over the past few days. I also started a riding "journal". Really, its the smartpak calendar they sent me, but I wanted to keep track of our rides without forgetting. I conveniently tacked up my calendar above my saddles, so I won't forget. That way I can look back to our last ride(s), see what went well, what didn't & see upcoming shows and events. Anyone else have a riding journal? I used to keep one back when I rode at NSF because I rode so many babies and I wanted to keep track, but Yankee's fell by the wayside.

One last reminder, my contest for a custom horse portrait ends THIS SATURDAY! To enter, just answer the trivia question in the comment section HERE.

Also I got an instagram just for Yankee! I have a personal one (checkmark115), but this new one is all horsey exclusive. If you want to add me, its ottb_eventing



  1. Hi,
    My name is Cindy I am new to your blog. Just found it yesterday while "working". I wish I had found it sooner, because I would have loved to get in on the contest! Love custom portraits!

    I also just noticed that you are in Columbia. My brother lives in Columbia, he works at the University, teaching veterinary technitions. I know...lots of people live in Columbia. LOL

    I like your attitude about attitude. You are still young and it seems as though you have some "drive" behind you, so I'm guessing you will find your niche. It is only a matter of time. It helps that you are looking now. Too many of us made the mistake of not looking soon enough. Now we are old and still trying to figure out what we want to be when we grow up.

    I do not have a riding journal, but I think it is a great idea. I have considered starting one before, but always forget (part of being old) I am not so much of a competitor as you, so I haven't really needed one, but I am starting to get into Ranch Horse Competitions, and the learning process has been interesting.

    Thanks for a great post.

    1. Contest is still running!!

      Columbia is actually a neat city, I love it.

      Thank you for your readership :)

  2. I thought my blog was my riding journal..

    1. I mean it is, but i wanted something i could look at quickly w small details while I was at the barn :)

  3. I don't keep a paper writing journal. It isn't a bad idea, but I'm not sure I would remember to update it. I do keep a notebook where I scribble down lesson notes and things to remember about riding so I can bush up from time to time.

  4. I just track my rides on my blog, but when they get more frequent I might keep a paper riding journal. I used to track miles (trail riding) back in the day to see how far I was riding so I could track my horse's fitness. I might do that once Chrome and I start trail riding since we would like to do Competitive Trail Rides someday. :D

    I'm glad you're feeling better. I didn't know you had a problem with anxiety and panic attacks (well maybe I did, but I forgot)... I do too... it sucks! I haven't done anything medical with mine yet either because I don't like taking medicine at all. I'd rather find the underlying cause (or causes) and fix them. Taking Vitamin D and working on fixing my hormone imbalance is helping a LOT, but I still have my moment. Lack of exercise is part of my problem too.... need to start working out again. Anyway my point is that I'm happy you're happy. :D