Thursday, May 23, 2013

I Can't Even

I can't even think of a title for this post. Absolute fuckery? Of course this happens to me? I might the universes worst horse owner? Wherein I dump all my hard earned money on horse related expenses? Why do I never have GOOD luck? Wherein I almost faint? All those titles are acceptable.

The vet came.

Before I explain the ratchet fuckery that was this mornings vet appointment I would like to make a disclaimer: Shit happens and people make mistakes.

So remember LAST WINTER when Yankee got some weird fungus, his tailbone got infected and all his tail hair fell out? Yeah. Well apparently it never healed all the way and has been festering/growing/something since then and I NEVER NOTICED. How is that possible??? I obsess over that tail. Longtime followers know. They know the pain that was my horses' gorgeous thick tail losing half its volume.

WHen the fungus healed up, it "calloused" as the vet liked to say. The bone thickened at the end, almost like scar tissue. However, verrrrrrrrrry slowly it grew. Which I didn't notice because of how painfully slow it was growing.

Until it started producing copious amounts of pus. Noticed that approx 6 days ago when I went to give his tail its weekly bath. I searched for a wound and couldnt really find one so I washed it with scrub, put fly pintment on it and let it be. There was a lot of hair surrounding it. I kept checking on it until two days ago when it starting bleeding profusely. I chopped a shitload of his tailhair off (Yes, I cried) to further investigate and I almost fainted when I cut all the hair away and the tip of his tail came apart. Yes literally CAME APART from the rest of his tailbone. Apparently the "growth" was beginning to fall off and I never noticed because it was still fused to the tailbone and looked normal until a week ago.

IMMEDIATELY DIAL VET FRANTICALLY.

I think I laid awake for two nights fretting, worrying and telling myself I was quite possibly THE WORST owner in history.

Luckily the vet reassured me I was not and I did the right thing to call. I also told him that I felt bad for not calling last week when it was just pussing a little and he reassured me again that even if I had called then, the result would have been the same.

Remove the bottom 3 inches of his tail head. WHAT.

SO I got to see that ans almost fainted again, mixed with horrendous feelings of guilt, shame and hearing my bank account going cha-ching! cha-ching! OF COURSE I was exceptionally worried for my horse but he never felt it and up until last night his tail NEVER bothered him.

I spared you guys pictures of the actual tailbone
 Hearing your horses' tail get chopped off is a sickening sound and I practically burst into tears in guilt, feeling like I did my horse a disservice by not noticing. How much more thoroughly could I have checked his tailbone? I obsessively did. I guess I'm just a dumb ass and he had to pay for it.

So, sedative, farm call, minor surgery, extraction, medications and a biopsy later I can't even imagien what the total for my idiocy will be.

I know for a fact I won't be able to pay the vet in full for the bill, but they at least accept payments but I feel better knowing I did the right thing for my horse. I might be a little harsh on myself but I feel horrible- I feel liek I should've noticed my horses' god damn tail falling apart. He seems no worse for the wear though and I left him happily munching hay.

I'm going to hide under my covers in shame though for a week or 5.

16 comments:

  1. I'm sorry. I would cry and never stop. I majorly obsess over Super Kid's and Rhymes tail. Kid's because her's in white and super thick. I'm trying to grow Rhyme's back because last summer he tore half of it off. Hopefully he is better now and his tail grows really quickly

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  2. You are NOT a bad horse owner. We do our best by our horses and sometimes things are missed. Even parents miss things with their kids and they can talk about how they are feeling! Don't worry, I hope he heals fully.

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  3. Hey Lady, you are gonna have to get in line if you wanna beat me out for worst horse owner ever.

    Think about it, "weekly tail washing" How many people give weekly tail washings? My horse has had 2 baths total in the 2 years I have had him.

    My mare went a week missing one of her corrective clogs, before I noticed it, and I feed her 2x a day so its not like I wasn't out there. And then to top it off, I didn't even think to check if she had any nails left in her hoof. She did and one was folded over and digging into her sole. The farrier pointed it out to me 3 weeks later. In my defense, I have never ever had shoes on a horse so it didn't even occur to me to check for stray nails. But It should have.

    My point here is that under all that tail hair, it just didn't show up until something made it visible. Let me tell you what makes you a good horse owner. The minute you saw the pus you took action. You treated it in what you believed to be the appropriate manner. You kept watching it and when it became obvious that it was not better, you called the vet. You didn't wait a full year for your next income tax check to come in so you could "afford it". You didn't try every off-the-wall home remedy listed on the internet. You didn't go around and asking every person in the barn, "Hey do you know how to fix this." You called the vet and made arrangements to pay your bill as you could. I have no doubt that you will pay that bill too, because good horse owners always do.

    Meanwhile Yankee is all like, "um food, who has food, hey my tail itches, can I have food?" He'll be fine, you'll be fine, get out from under the covers.

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  4. But if you decide to stay under there for a week, feel free to take a drawing pad and some pencils with you.. LOL

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  5. You totally aren't a bad owner!!! Yankee is thankful that you had is handled and is ready for your attention!!

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  6. Awwww darling that sucks. You are being too harsh on yourself but I completely understand. You may or may not remember that I let my horse walk around for 24 hours with a rusty piece of fence stuck in his hoof. Yup still beat myself up over that one. He will heal and good job for doing the right thing as soon as you figured it out.

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  7. I COMPLETELY get the whole feeling guilty thing. Damn I obsess over minor cuts and scrapes, but you seriously can NOT blame yourself. Come on, weekly tail baths? That alone makes you a better owner than me, as I hadn't washed my mare's tail in a year before yesterday. Come out from under the covers, your horse already has forgotten anything was wrong...

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  8. You are definitely NOT an idiot. That sounds like a freak thing that no one would have noticed! You did the best for him now and it will only get better from here.

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  9. Geez that sounds crazy. I would probably start crying too when they cut the tail! And I second everyone else, you're not a bad owner. I doubt there are that many people that would notice it. Heck if my mare ever gets her tail brushed once a month, much less once a week so you're WAY ahead of the game washing it once a week!

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  10. Don't beat yourself up about it! I'm the same way with B's tail only because LB never really had a tail. My QH has a tail Arab breeders would kill for, but honestly, I probably wouldn't have noticed something like that either. I don't even think I bath my horse more the 2x a year let alone his tail! :) Chin up!

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  11. Um. I have never even heard of such a thing. I don't think you lose actual points for not knowing the most obscure thing of all time.

    You do have rotten luck though. :(

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  12. Yeah you're totally not a bad owner! You spend more time with your horse than a LOT of people I know. And that's such a bizarre thing to happen too. Who the heck would ever think to check that???? All I do is glance at the dock for ticks and that's it. I don't wash it weekly, I don't palpate it and heck I don't even brush it very often LOL! Please don't feel bad. I'm so sorry it happened to Yankee, but I'm glad he will be okay.

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  13. Glad that you guys caught it. This is a reminder to me that I am the worst about checking Houston's tail. Bu,met that it happened but you'll push through. Very aweso,e that your vet accepts payments.

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  14. I'm so sorry you had to go through this! How terrible :( Definitely not your fault or bad ownership though.

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  15. Holy crap. At least thankful that it was a relatively small issue in the whole health of the horse and he was never bothered! So happy you caught it when you did. Stil....OI VEY.

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  16. OMG how scary and how could you know?! You don't know things until you are faced with it, and you acted as fast as you could have. Trust me, every one make these types of mistakes and Yanks is going to be just fine. It sounds like a total bizarre thing! If I listed all the mistakes I do daily, well...
    Sorry about your vet bill, that always SUCKS.

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