[Mostly] Flawless

Yankee. Everyday. And Bacardi. Most days..

I always love 12 hour days full of horses and working :D

Started early with the much awaited jump school. Could barely sleep last night. Excited and nervous. Besides my injury in 2009 I had never taken longer off of riding/jumping (it was 10 months in 2009) and I was fretting I would forget everything and Yankee would forget and we would just fall over ourselves and die.. It was ridiculous.

As usual, my boy delivered. Perfect from the start. Trailering, arriving at a strange place, ride...everything. I even ground tied him for his hose off and he just stood there. If there's one horse I will love and appreciate for all of time, its my giant puppy Yankee.

Anyways. The meaty goodness.

Triple bar madness

UGH. I love him. Of course we warmed up over smaller stuff, but I couldn't waste trailering to an arena with standards and poles and jump thingies without doing something super fun!

And hey, my position isn't too shabby either for being an out of shape wet noodle.

Minus this.....

HOLY EARLY SPOT

...leaving out a stride and incidentally, knocking the rail off, I rode quite well too. Its like we just picked up right where we left off BEFORE we took our break.

Turn and burn

We also traded horses, which was fun and educational. G's horse is HUGE. I mean absolute dinosaur. At least a thousand hands (18) tall. But he's super light, kind of like B. I'm getting better at riding huge strides! Sadly no pics of him. G fell instantly in love with Yankee but learned how much of an energizer bunny he is and how much contact/leg he needs and had him looking pretty fab on the flat after a little trial and error.

G is lucky, it may seem like I let a lot of people ride him, but I don't. You must earn my trust ;)

Yankee, the amazing 16hh illusion creating OTTB

Then I got home and realized the jumping bug bit me and I just HAD to try Bacardi over some x-rails. I promised him (because of course, he understands me) that I wouldn't overface him too early into this relationship, so we will continue on x-rails and low verticals until he figures out where his legs go.

Minus B's ridiculous 5 minute shit show, he was AH-MAZING.

(To explain the "epic Bacardi meltdown: we walked out to the riding field. I was leading him because he is naturally wary of new things so I thought being on the ground would be helpful. I was mildly surprised he didn't seem to notice the appearance of jumps in his normally empty field. Cool. So I walked up to adjust a pole and just as I bent down, it was like he realized "HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS THAAAA-NOPE" and reared straight in the air. Bai B! Yeah, I let go and he took off like a bat outta hell. racehorse fast, towards the pasture fence and I was like "hmm, cool maybe I will see proof of my allged thoughts of his scope if he doesn't kill himself first"...but then he did the most perfect dime turn, and galloped off (I see why he won races) around the entire 3 acre field, up the neighbors back field TOWARDS the highway and all I can think, in a monotone voice [because what was I going to do really, chase my OTTB on my wimpy humanoid legs] is "fucking cool, just bought that horse and now he is gonna get hit by a semi and die. Seriously my life what the fuck." Just then he changes direction and hightails it towards the barn and now I'm like [in same monotone] "oh ok he wont get hit by a car but surely he will get his legs caught in my $100 reins and snap his leg...and die." But he didn't. He just galloped ASFASTASPOSSIBLE to the barn and thats where I found him, looking all innocent basically making out with Yankee. We then had a "discussion" around the barrels for 10 min before he decided that they in fact, would not eat his flesh for lunch. BABIES SOMETIMES I SWEAR TO GOD.)

I almost cried I was so proud of my baby. He truly just wants to please, even if he's confused or nervous. I also learned that he is one of those horses that must.not.touch.rails.at.all.cost.

Haha fucking precious angel. That tuck though, can we please?

From the beginning though.

I started low. Like, 2 trot poles low.

Please note adorable Levi doing Levi things

"The best at trot poles!"-Aimee (haha)

Then we propped up one side of the x-rail at a time to se ehow he navigated that. Fine. So we propped up the small fence, hopped it a few times, then the larger one.

KNEES

His jump is WAY different from Yankee and we are still learning together. It is MASSIVE and ROUND and basically throws me out of the tack. Almost slow motion like.. Yankee is deer-ish/pogo stick, bouncy and quick. I find if I stay back though, that's better than jumping ahead. We will grow together!

He also, because baby, gallops after the fences because he is still a little unbalanced. Obviously tempo will come with time/strength and because he always responds to half halts, I find this acceptable for now. I LOVE that he is straight as an arrow after fences, rather than ducking a shoulder too.

Perfect red baby

All four off the floor

I love the last pic, even if I'm a little far behind. Dog and horse in sync!

Overall, a really good day...and a REALLY good workout. I am beat.

Sit. Stay. No Thanks.

Quick update on my musing since last post.

I'm still not resting and doing all the things I shouldn't be doing. I just can't sit still and its a real problem.

I'm sure on my 2 week check up the doctor will shake her head and be like

I've ridden everyday, helped my bf move (which took 13 fucking hours) and done chores and all that, and then I regret it when I'm laying in bed throbbing all over and dying faster than the average human, and I cry into my paleo food and watch unnecessary amounts of netflix.

 That aside.

Took all three horsebeasts for a ride yesterday and they were total gems. Obviously.

Yankee, the trooper he is, carted around one of my friends around and she instantly fell in love. Everyone does. Bacardi only spooked at a few things, namely corn, and the horse eating squirrels living in the woods-understandable. And Lilly was perfect as usual for her owner. She really is a lovely mare.

Classic Monica derp.

On the Lilly front, I've been working on retraining her from western to english. As I said a while ago, she's VERY sensitive and requires the lightest feather hands you can imagine. She also tests you the first ten minutes of the ride but if you nip it in the bud with firmness, she quits. She's a NICE horse, just needs some schooling.

Today we worked on trot poles for the first time. She was awesome with those so we raised it to a little X-rail to see what she would do. yeah. Nothing. She knocked it over repeatedly. Figured it was best to just keep working on trot poles after that becasue she obviously didn't understand. Silly Lilly.

Kept the ride short because she requires a lot of leg and I tire easily, but it was a successful ride. Always interesting training the older horses as compared to young ones.

Pretty Lilly Belle

 I've also been working B in the trailer. He's EXCEPTIONALLY keen on clicker training and I taught him in about 5 minutes how to pick up each leg by pointing at them with the whip and how to move forward by pointing at his hip. Now just to TRANSFER that into actually getting in the trailer.

He's still so very worried about it, so I take it slow and don't pressure him. Relaxation is my goal through the whole process. Yesterday I got his whole front half to lean in and chill out, but not take any steps up. Hopefully this week I can get some feet in.

i think it'd be fun to teach him tricks though, since he picks up the clicker wicked fast like some insane idiot savant.

Tomorrow I'm hauling Yankee to actually jump!! Its been FOURTEEN weeks since he's seen a single jump and *GASP* 66 weeks since I last took him XC schooling. The eventer inside me is dying slowly.

FailFriday

Long time followers and close friends know I have the worst luck of anyone probably in the northern hemisphere.

Most people sigh and exclaim, "I have the worst luck ever" out of exasperation when things go wrong...but no. Truly. My life is ridiculous and full of catastrophic bad luck events and they usually snowball and never stop.

Its fun. Keeps me on my toes.

I wanted to share my hilarious bad luck fail friday story, even though it happened earlier in the week. Because its Friday and its fun to say failfriday.

To tie into my last post where I got sick of doing nothing even though I shouldn't have been moving about doing things like lifting and moving and all that, I still ventured out to get hay because I was in need.

I ended up buying 20 bales that I squeezed with very precarious and technical loading into my parents very NICE and TINY truck. I've never seen a truck with a smaller bed in my life. I also have scratched it everytime I've used it so they are reluctant to lend it to me. I honestly have no clue HOW it gets scratched because I handle the precious so carefully. That being said, I was confident the hay would stay and that it would last another 5 weeks or so,  and that I would not damage the precious.

Note my hay supplier is approx 10 min from my house. So no big deal, go 40 down the freeway, one back road and BOOM home with the goods. Easy. Not worried.

Driving like a good citizen, not on my phone, hazards on, cruise control on, I go my merry way down the freeway. Not worried.

Then, out of fucking NOWHERE this massive 8 point buck LEAPS in front of of me on the freeway.
IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. Why. What was it doing. Where was it going. I'm a hunter. I know MOST deer prefer to stay in the woods until later in the day out of the heat. But this inconsiderate asshole just leapt out of the corn because deer do not look both ways before crossing.

So I have .06 seconds to decide-do I swerve to miss him and risk my hay flopping all over the freeway, or risk hitting him and damaging my parents extremely nice, but almost useless truck?

I picked swerve.

Crisis averted.

As I catch my breathe and regather my thoughts and realize YAY I just saved the truck and possibly my life, I reflexively glance out the rearview and lol to myself because I see hay FUCKING EVERYWHERE and I'm like HAH SOME  ASSHOLE LOST THEIR SHIT ON THE HIGHWAY GLAD ITS NOT-...and then I realize I'm the asshole and flip to absolute freakout mode. Keep in mind this was all in 6 seconds flat.

I think my heart almost exploded.

So I flip a bitch, and assess the damage.

Literally half my hay is on the freeway. And half of THAT broke when it hit the road. Semi's are dodging the and cars are honking at me and I'm cowering in fear on the side of the road.

Almost funny.

So, debate what to do. Rescue my stupid fucking hay or chalk it up to a loss and go home with my tail tucked.

OBVIOUSLY SAVE THE HAY BECAUSE MONEY.

So there I am.  Frantically rounding up the whole bales and then chasing down FLAKES of hay and shoving them into the CAB of the truck while avoiding traffic and feeling absolutely retarded.

All I can think is DEAR GOD if my parents find one shred of hay in this truck I am dead because literally there is 3 bales of LOOSE hay in the cab. BUT I HAD TO SAVE IT OKAY.

My life. Its ridiculous.

And here's a derp picture of me and Bacardi because fail.

Post Surgery Overcompensation Day

So I literally haven't lifted a finger since Thursday because surgery. Recovery was relaxing and if I hadn't been sedated with prescription narcotics I wouldve felt all sorts of anxious for being an unproductive slug.

Me. All the days

 Enough of that though.

Supposed to take it easy all week and I'm like...

So of course in typical Monica fashion what do I do?

Get sawdust. (shovel it, myself)
Get Hay (Unload, myself)
Clean out the barn.
Do stalls.
Oh and take dad for a 7 mile trail ride.

In hindsight I might've overdone it a bit. But YOLO.

We only get so many October days in July okay? Seriously though it been freakishly chilly here. Hasn't gotten above 72* in 2 weeks (minus the random 98* day). Today I wore long sleeves....I truly beginning to fear winter if SUMMER is this cold.

I really digress though.

Dad is deploying again (USAF HORAH), and even though he will be gone a very short time, he wanted to ride at least one time before he left. We just acquired a western saddle for shits and gigs (poor Yankee..I WILL be trying this on him later this week) and decided to try it out today with dad and Lilly Belle.

Oh Dad. You slay the cowboy game. And yes, that is a pine tree in Lilly's mouth because she's a fatty.

That Lilly, she's a wild one.

Pretty hilarious

uhhdorable

And here's a few pics of Bacardi being majestic.

 

Precious angel babyface

I REALLY hope I get to jump this week. Its been 14 weeks!! 6 weeks since my leg injury...thats enough time. For sure.

Nosedive

WELL. I had a huge awesome wonderful well thought out post typed up and blogger deleted it like a little bish so now you all get to read a slightly irritated, not as wonderful post.

Firs thing. I tried to change my header, it didn't fit, changed it back, fit worse. HOW AND WHERE do you guys get all these cute edited banners for ye blogs? I need your secretssss

I passed my exam, so say hi to an Ohio licensed insurance person. Wassup? Need help with Medicare? Life Insurance? HMO? I gotchu.

I also had surgery, non-leg related, so I am recovering and woefully unable to do anything for a few days. Including ride.

Yankee gets shoes today and I am bracing for the insanity that is "special" fancy pants shoes. Dear God, I am now one of those owners.

That aside, I really came here to brag about how fat and shiny and wonderful Yankee is, and my slight problem with B's training. I will just start off with the happy things, like Levi's and Yankee's being adorable...

Beautiful boys

Fancy feets

Yankee had really grown up, always so steady

Seriously one of my favorite pics ever taken ever. MY FEELS.

So there's Yankee. I haven't been able to do much since he has no front shoes and long toes, but riding on the dirt doesn't seem to bother him. Its like once we got B, he took on the role of "steady 'old man'" and has just been Mr. Reliable. I love this horse! He is truly my heart!

That being said, I don't not love Bacardi. But our relationship has just started. And like any new relationship, it can be a rocky road. We started off  awkward with each other, unsure. Then we began to bond, relax and communicate effectively. But lately, there have been a few minor disagreements.

That being, carrying oneself a little on the forehand, sluggish and not forward like the fresh new Bacardi I once knew a few weeks ago. What changed, dearest B?

Ugh, forehand much? Trailing much? Diving into my hands much?

Well for one, I got injured and lost some strength. That eq tho...lets ignore for the sake of pictures and document that yes, I DO need to work on it again (FOREVER STRUGGS).

For two, he is a bebe. I know he will backslide. I just don't want him to okay. I live in a fantasy world. Let me ride my unicorns.

Three, I think riding him in the 3 ring for added security (weakness from injury, hot little OTTB....) was a bad move. Took me a few rides to realize the 3 ring is not for him. Classic evasion by curling under. Sadly now, he learned he can do that instead of doing the hard stuff, like pushing form behind and carrying ones massive body correctly, so he does it on the reg now.

An easy solution, but not an easy fix. Change tack back, leg into bridle, etc etc.

And he will come forward and pick himself up....for a few steps...and not as brilliantly as he was before....

1 month ago

Yesterday

 You can really see a difference aye? All I see is fail fail fail fail fail but I'm trying to stay positive.

 So. Do you think I am correct in my assumption that is is a mixture of my terrible posture (I would like to point out that B's stride is MASSIVE) , the fact he is a baby, and the bitting issue? A few more for your consideration.

A great example of a canter VERY on the forehand (front foot hits before hind foot)

 Which also brings up a whole 'nother  can of worms...which bit should I use for jumping once we actually DO start? Considering 3 ring is a bit leveragey for him. See future posts for discussion on this topic.

Procrastination Level EXPERT

I typed about 5 different sentences before I decided that nothing could lead into this post. Considering that I wrote half an entry 4 days ago highlighting last week and never posted it, I just gave up.

I am doing an excellent job of not doing all the things I need to do. Avoidance is my specialty and I tend to be a productive procrastinator. I usually clean things. Or organize. Or read. Or research. or workout. Basically do everything but that one thing I need to do.

This week, its a lot of things. But not as many things as last week.

Last week was rough for me. I decided to go strict paleo 2 weeks ago since my parents do it-which means no dairy. Just fruits, plants, animals and nuts (not even ALL nuts or plants or fruits or animals). Its really confusing and difficult and my body hated it. I got to the point where I couldn't even put food in my body without throwing up. So strict paleo, not for me. 3/4 normal paleo is what I will stick with considering it doesn't make me violently ill and is still relatively healthy.

I am also having surgery (unrelated to my leg) this week and scheduling that/dealing with idiot receptionists has been a total ass pain. Seriously WHY.

In addition, I had a mind numbing class to attend for my new real person job and it really cramped my style. I also spent about 20 hours outside that class studying for the exam I have in 2 days to get my insurance license. Let me tell you. medicare is a BITCH. How do you work 8-5 and STILL have time to workout and ride AND sleep. The fuckery is unreal! (Speaking of, I have really done a great job NOT studying today....)

The chickens have re-deemed themselves. Almost. They started laying this week and I get about 5 eggs a day from them. In typical bird hate fashion though they refuse to use their coop, so its and easter egg hunt EVERYDAY and sometimes I even find them in the horse stalls. How fun!

My horses also seem to know when my bank account is reaching crucially low levels of funds. Think almost $0.

Oh yes that would be 2 pulled front shoes/destroyed feet in the same week and a thrashed hind leg injury.

Did I mention last week B came in with a slash across his face, nearly sending me into cardiac arrest,  and Yankee had JUST got one of those shoes re-shod last monday because he threw it 2 weeks ago?? Because of the damage done by literally ripping nails out of a hoof wall, its damn near impossible to re show now without that ass pain expense of fancy pants shoes and adhesive.

He hasn't thrown a shoe in what seems like years, so I'm beginning it think its my farrier. So if anyone has any farrier recommendations in the dayton area....

BUT besides all that the boys have been brilliant.

Took them on a trail ride last week and B really surprised me with his non baffled-ness when encountering big bad tings like trucks, and mud and river crossings! He actually LOVED the water, just like Yankee.

ADORABLE

Been doing a TON of hacking, lunging and flatwork since I know I shouldn't be doing much else. It is REALLY hard though. I haven't jumped Yankee since forever. Almost 10 weeks I think. DEAR GOD.

I need it.

How The Chickens Are Ruining My Life

 Do you ever have problems that are quite possibly unsolveable without drastic actions such as murder?

Tasty, tasty murder.

My dads chickens are ruining my life.

They are causing me great pain and frustration and I literally want to kill them, not just figuratively.

For the past two weeks since the ladies have discovered they have legs and can leave the coop, they have set out to destroy my life. I am sure of it.

I don't even particularly care for chickens, but put up with them because I have to. They are nasty, evil and conniving little fucks.  I prefer ducks because they are adorable and make cute sounds and eat bugs.

Each and every morning  I walk to the barn and am greeted by tiny dinosaurs cooing at me like I am their favorite human on earth and and always am like

And then I walk into the barn and see what theyve been up to all night and instantly become enraged with fury that can only be compared to stubbing your big toe on the same corner of your coffee table every single morning and in turn spilling your coffee all over you and ruining your shirt, and the floor and the couch and now your toe is bleeding and you want to kick something but can't because your foot is quite possibly going to fall off and the anger bubbles up and you want to explode.

So I'm standing in the absolute destruciton that is my usually immaculate old barn and the fucking chickens just staring at me like

and I'm like

and can't stop looking around my barn in horror like

 There is shit everywhere, always, not matter how often I hatefully scrape it off. Like, seriously everywhere. On every surface of everything. the floor. My tack. My hay. My feed bins. Every fucking door, ledge, railing, fan, and rafter. Talk about hella flies.

You would think that would be the worst part, but no. Its not.

These bitches can't just be satisfied with destroying my aisle and belongings. These are different kinds of poultry beasts. The most kind of evil. They sit around waiting for one of my other shit machines to void and then swoop down on that steamy pile like it chocolate cake.

I've witnessed this horror. They first start flinging the poop with their feet. FLINGING. It goes everywhere. First off, EW. Second, WHY. Why would they ignore the very expensive, specially formulated chicken scratch that I give them everyday and go after the leftover, partially digested oats in horse poop?

TO HURT MY SOUL THATS WHY.

This action makes it the most frustrating to clean stalls. Not only do the chickens tear each poop pile up into soggy shreds, but then the boys with their big ass feet grind in into the sawdust and makes it virtually impossible to pick up. Nothing works.

So I have resorted to stripping the stalls everyday. EVERY. DAMN. DAY. Because there is no line between clean and dirty. Which in turn leads to and extreme usage of sawdust.. It is all one big soggy shitpile mess and its all the chickens faults.

So, now I have a filthy aisle, trashed stalls and a broken soul.

Thats not all though. After crying into my rags, broom and fork every morning or night (sometimes both because chickens apparently spend their life pooping) I notice that my boys have stopped cleaning up their hay. And drinking water during the day.

COOL.

Upon closer inspection I notice it is because the FUCKING DINOSAURS shit in the buckets and on the hay ALL DAY LONG.

BUT WAIT THERES MORE.

Not only do they ruin everything indoors, they are also ruining things outdoors.

Namely, the fencing.

I think I've fixed, replaced, nailed, and fiddle with the fencing at least once a day to keep it up and running. The girls sit on it, fly onto it, rip it up with their talons and ultimately just fuck shit up beyond belief. So if they break it after I've looked at it for the day, and one of my horses realize its not working, they lean into it and break other stuff and ITS JUST A RAGING MESS.

So ruined belongings. Filthy aisles. Trashed stalls. Ruined haystacks. Constantly broken electric fencing. Spent money. Excessive flies. Broken soul. And now horses that won't eat hay or drink water all day. Thats healthy.

I have only solved one of those issues by putting hay in bags up off the ground.

My mom suggested fencing in all openings around the stalls with chicken wire, not thinking that horses kind of have to come in and out of the barn somehow. The white devils also can climb and would be able to get in the rafters and continue to spread doom throughout the barn.

I think what really broke me was their non concern for my feelings. As I clean, they haunt me and continue to fuck shit up RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. They poop on recently cleaned things. Jump in the wheelbarrow and fling poop and hay out back onto the aisle. Stare at me with creeper eyes. Scratch scratch stare fling fling CAW CAW FLING poop coo coo STARE

I am at my limit.

They need to go.