Are You Guys Hot Today?

I am!

It's approx. 57 degrees. In Missouri. In the middle of December.

Wtf!?

This time last year the mercury dropped below zero...and now I'm sweating.

Only partially complaining a) filthy horse got a bath b) rode outside

But STILL I need snow at Christmas!!!

Christmas Time

Is much less fun when you're not 6 years old.

But I still have a list for Santa.

Dear Santa Claus,
I would greatly appreciate winning the lottery please. It would also be handy to get my credit card paid off and get me all A's on my exams. Not to be greedy, but I really need new tall show boots. My current ones make me look midgety and they are quite old and dying. It would be awesome if you could teach my horse how to do flying changes, piaffes and execute perfect sidepasses. I mean, that'd be just swell. You know what else? It'd be super neat to have a self cleaning stall. Or a stable boy. Could you convince my boyfriend to do that for me? Thanks. Also, please tell me who to vote for next year. I am really quite lost and I know that this next president could make or break my future. Perhaps too, rustle up a "Graduating from College and Entering the Real World For Real For Dummies" guidebook. I'd really appreciate it. And lastly and rather greedily, I would just love another thoroughbred. For some reason I just love those psycho creatures and can't stop looking up ones for adoption. Ok Santa, I realize I have a long list and I sound like any other greedy ass American, but I really need to catch a break, and you, my favorite fatman are made of Christmas miracles. Love you long time.
Monica

Well F*** Me. Retail Therapy Needed.

Remember how I said it couldn't get any worse and things were mellowing out in terms of bad things happening?

Apparently that was false.

It seemed like my life ended last Wednesday...I've been a complete black hole since then.
Not only did I have the week from hell with final examinations (BEFORE official exam week), piles of last minute assignments to turn in, and exams to cram for...but I am dealing with possible expulsion from the University for low GPA (an ENTIRE clusterf*** of ubsurdness that basically ruins my entire life...no joke. I will go into at another time) but I got the worst possible news at the worst possible time at exactly 2:32 PM on Wednesday.

I was studying my ass off and fooling with a few friends, trying to shake off pre-exam jitters and trying to make the marketing exam my bitch when I get a text from the BF.
It read, "Are you alone?"
Thinking, "What a naughty boy, he knows I'm studying"
I laughed it off and said "No".
I get a reply that reads, "Go get alone and call me".
My heart sinks. This can't be good. It can only mean one thing.

The instant he picks up, I hear his voice and it is thick with tears. My buff, extremely manly BF is crying. Nothing else could bring him to tears like this....My dog had to have died. YEP. Sure did.

He tells me what happened (Tonka had a horrible seizure, lost control of bodily functions, foamed at the mouth, stopped breathing, and died. BF gave him CPR, but he was gone...just like that) and I stand there...absolutely FLOORED.

FLOORED.

I can't take this in. I think he is f***ing with me. I tell him to cut the shit and stop, he knows I have an exam in less than half an hour. How could my sweet Tonka be dead? He is only two years old...so long a life to live. I saved him from death...this was not his time. He was 2 yrs old, perfectly healthy. What the f***.

Then I realize he isn't messing and I lose my shit. ABSOLUTELY lose it. Right in the middle of the Student Center...I am bawling, shaking, crying, screaming...and I don't care who sees me. I run back to my friends and they can barely make out what I am saying through the tears and sobs. No frecking way am I in any shape to take an exam. I was the epitome of a hot mess and in no way able to function. I could barely breathe...I felt like I lost a child, and to me, he was my child.

I don't know how many of you out there will understand, but I had a connection with this dog more powerful than anything I've ever felt in my life. More than with any horse, more than any dog...more than any human. I felt like my life ended. I was stunned. I couldnt do anything but cry...and I did, for over an hour. I talked to my professor and he was surprisingly understanding. The exam I was about to take was ridiculously difficult and VERY important (like...decides whether or not I can stay in school or not) and there was no possible way I could do it in the shape I was in. He felt for me (dog lover) and is letting me take it in January. How nice.

Tonka was the most amazing creature I had ever met. Surprisingly forgiving, unconditionally loving, courageous, sweet, cuddly, soft and understanding.

His story begins 14 months ago when I found him on a highway in the middle of Missouri's winter. Surely close to death, I took him in. Fed him, bathed him, loved him.

He grew to be my closest companion. He was with me through numerous road trips, moving, my car accident, quitting my job, my break up, moving again, and he kept me sane. His sweet little face always brightened my day, and every night he cuddled up with me to sleep. I know in his little heart he had experienced pain, but he let me in, just like I let him in mine. We understood each other perfectly, we healed each other and he went with me everywhere. I spoiled that little shit beyond belief and he knew it. He was as much a part of my life as waking up everyday was. I loved him with my whole being, my whole soul...and now I feel empty. Lifeless.



After crying for a day and a half, I laid him to rest in Yankees pasture. After that I couldn't cry any more. I just laid in bed for 2 whole days. I didnt move...didnt shower...didnt eat. I had someone feed Yankee for me. I called off work. I didnt even watch TV. I just laid there. For 48 hours. The depression gripped me like a steel hand and wouldnt let go...squeezed the life out of me. I felt dead. I still feel...empty. But at least I have some movement. I've eaten, Ive worked out, Ive studied for my last final, I rode my horse...I've showered. But I can't shake this sucking depression that is a black hole in my soul. I know it will get better, but I miss that shithead more than anything right now.

Yankee said his goodbyes to Tonka. He stood there for 5 minutes...head hanging, absolutely still. I caught this photo as he was leaving. Animals are amazing beings.

Most of you probably understand, since most of us are animal people...but what you might not grasp is how much a part of me this little dog was. It kills me inside that he suffered a horrible, painful death. I know he suffered and it breaks my heart. I wish he could have gone peacefully and with me there, to give him a kiss on his sweet nose one last time. Some might think its ridiculous, my reaction...but my animals ARE my family. And I lost part of it last Wednesday.

So I went out and did what an grieving tack whore would do. I bought shit. A lot of it. My credit card suffered...and probably got rugburn from the swiping, but at least the ponyface got a sweet ass blanket out of the deal. And no, retail therapy didnt really help me. Nothing but time will right now.

Yankee being a hay-thief in his new duds. Tragedy aside...this is a kick ass blanket (will do product review later)

I will miss you forever, smalldog. Rest in peace lil guy.

Lunging for Contact and Nakedness!

BEHOLD, nekked ponyface.

This was quite possibly the quickest shave Ive ever done at one hour, 5 minutes. Boss status.

Sort of, the blade wasnt that sharp and he has some lines in his neck and left cheek because when I went over it to smoothe it, it didnt even re-clip. Odd but whatever.

Cranky because he had to stay in ALL day. How tragic. 

I didnt want the shaved beast out in the pouring, cold effing rain. Even with a sheet on, he would have been soaked. And in my defense against you non-shaver people, all the horses that were not nude stayed in too. So there.

"BETCH, you better give me a cookie for this torture"

Oh and by the way...I totally effed up his face. Its extremely difficult to clip a goat-hair, finely boned TB with retarded huge clippers. Its a fact.

Isn't he just so much prettier without all that goat hair? Dont tell him I think his winter coat is fugly.

Ok so before I shaved him, I lunged him with a new technique I thought of to help insrease the stretch through his back, and relax him at the trot.

I'm not a fan of gimmicky things, especially tie down like objects or those stupid pessoa things, but I thought this "contraption" (I use that word lightly) would work nicely.

I took the lunge line through his bit, over the poll, through the other side (tied a knot below the bit so the line wouldnt tighten too far, and ran it under to the girth).

This I figured would simulate contact on both bit rings, as well as ENCOURAGE, not force him to relax over the back. Since I tied the knot, there was no way to even force him anyways.

I also kept the sidereins at 7 on both side, even contact.

So as you can see, relatively nice. I can't upload my video from the other side, which was AWESOME, because he actually made a mistake, and you can see how this worked to correct him, in a gentle, non-forceful way.

I doubt I will use this everytime, but it was nice to switch it up and see him actively working.

In other news, this would be my latest attempt in thwarting the ponyface who can eat 4 flake sof hay in about 20 minutes. Just call him yankee.

Creep feeder hay bag, IN the hay rack.

GENUIS.

Wow, Winning.

Another video of the same jumps, different order

As you can see, some brilliant, calm and small, coursework by the ponyface and I on 11/27

I would like to point out the minimal bucking/squeals coming from Yankeepants, landing on the correct leads, my super solid lower leg and wonderous jumping position. Quite solid if you ask me. *bows*

I know I've about dropped off the radar, but over T-giving I was in Ohio, and did no riding whatsoever, even though Ben kept Yankee in shape whilst I was gone. I hope to pick up the riding schedule more after next Friday when my rape-week is over. 4 exams in 5 days BEFORE finals week might just send me over the edge.

I went to see my pony in STL on my way to Ohio, so that was fun. Pictures on FB because I am too lazy/in a hurry to upload them onto here.

Not much to update, except that I am SUPER poor (but I did just get a legit new job that pays quite well....Can you say HELLO NEW TURNOUT BLANKET?!?), dying under the weight of exams, losing weight/running :D and clipping the goat-ponyface tomorrow. About time.

Sorry I am not more interesting but I have no super good news to report, or bad news to speak of, so thats brilliant.

I will continue to live vicariously through you, fellow bloggers, until my riding-mojo is restored.

OH and I WILL have a post on horse slaughter...coming soon. Some of you may be a BIT surprised on my views regarding this touchy subject. Dun Dun DUN.

Better Late Than Never

Ok wow this is like 3 weeks late but better late than never, right? Right.

I might be getting over my second sickness quit well, thanks to the boy, who has been feeding me sickiness meds and making me food and letting me sleep all day while he takes care of my dog and horse. How sweet :D

In bad news, I haven't been able to ride, so thats a bummer. After Thanksgiving, I SWEAR, the pony will get shaved, and go back into at least 4 days a week work.

So here is some picture spam from liek 3 weeks ago. And yes, it is still like 70 dregrees here. Ok not 70, but its still t-shirt weather. I HATE.

He was enjoying our canter in the pasture

Nice reach bud

I love this one...wish it wasn't blurry

My position really blows. I think its because my leathers were too long and I didnt notice. Whatevs.

Also I jumped Yankee Sunday and he was VERY good. The saddle issues were fixed just by moving it back some, so thats a relief!

There are a few videos on my FB of the jumping I did Sunday, but for some reason my retarded phone and computer both fail at life, as usual and I can't link it. Sadface.

Until next time, fellow nerds.

Nerdy For Horses

It was recently brought to my attention that I am a nerd.

Definition-Nerd is a term that refers to an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit. Nerds are generally considered to be awkward, shy and/or unattractive by most,  gains pleasure from amassing large quantities of knowledge about subjects often too detailed or complicated for most other people to be bothered with.  Thus, a nerd is often excluded from physical activity and considered a loner by others, or will tend to associate with a small group of like-minded people.

Impossible. Its not like I play World of Warcraft or anything. Oh wait...

I have like 1000 friends on FB. I do college people things like wear high heels and go out. My hair is always perfect and I never do it. I make random friends by putting my phone number on cars (enter new man interest). I might be awkward, but its hilarious. Maybe I study a bit...but I'm no nerd.

My new man interest though showed me that I am indeed, a nerd....

...nerdy for horses. Which apparently guys find sexy nowadays? Who frecking knew.

But he is right. I pondered about this for approx. 3 minutes and came up with a list (which only solidifies his claim further).

Specific Explanations for Why I am Indeed, a Nerd

-general extreme excitement about horse races on ESPN/ recall stats about racehorses like its common knowledge
-recall stats about major big time sporthorse stallions like its common knowledge
-watching every horse movie, wether or not it is excellent...Derby Stallion...Secretariat...

-owning every horsey movie pretty much ever made
-loudly voicing opinions to no one in particular about horsey Youtube videos (my voice may or may not get nasally and geeky)
-reciting book definitions of ailments, body parts, tack or sports when asked simple questions, like "what color is that horse?" or "What is a handicap race?" (in the same geeky voice)

-continue to spew word vomit till other person shifts nervously in seat and tries to make hasty exit
-57 horse books on my shelf
-trophies in my room, flaunting my semi-successes
-txt pictures of my horse making stupid faces to non horse friends *eye rolls*
-txt pictures of my horse making stupid faces to horse friends
-txt pictures of new tack to other tack whore friends
-Epic shrine dedicated to previous and current ponyfaces
-3 mag subscriptions..diligently poured over
-blogging
-Hating Fuglyblog and reading every. single. comment.
-researching throughout 4 different tack stores for the best value
-new tack is like christmas..no wait, better than.
-sport heroes include Karen O'Conner and Darren Chiacchia, not Babe Ruth or Tim Tebow
-immediately judging a rider/ voicing opinion to nearest person, wether or not I know them/they are a horse person or not

-ditto for horse, but insert words like, F-ing gorgeous, fugly, psycho or drugged up the ass
-drawing horses constantly...this is probably the most nerdy thing I do
-wearing riding clothes to school and finding it normal

-fantazing about trucks and trailers

Its true. I am a horse nerd. I didnt realize it until now.

But its ok.

Speaking of nerdy things like drawing horses so much it becomes weird. I drew this on a study break. Yay.

Go, my friends, be nerdy with me :D