Winter Storm Q

THIS morning I'm sitting here eating nothing (because I'm an idiot and didn't go to the store like everyone else did), watching a blizzard outside my window, flipping shit that I'm stuck and can't make that skrilla at work today AND most importantly, get to the barn to feed the horses this evening. AND THEN IT THUNDERS....loudly. THUNDERSNOW ERMAHGHERD.

But seriously, I am 100% stuck. I tried. Hurculean effort, but that snow is slick as snot and already 3 inches high and I live on a hill. Fucking hill. You are my bane today.

I set my alarm early to get up and scrub snow off my car before work and I walked out my door to see a pile of cars, a literal PILE, on my road. All of them were stuck. Grrrreat. I tried anyways and I am now a stuck duck.

TO NETFLIX!

I seriously hope this city gets its shit together and plows my road because the snow is expected to fall all day at a ridiculous rate. By the end of it all tomorrow we could have up to ten inches. But I'm pretty positive that CoMO only has like, 4 snowplows, I kid you not. Snow here isn't rare, but not common.

Eastern people, I KNOW this aint shit compared to your, but remember, I live in the Midwest. I'm pretty sure most people here are idiots. Like, the most dumb. One inch of snow and the whole city goes beserk with panic. WE are supposed to get 9 more that. People already can't function. City schools closed LAST NIGHT before any snow even fell. Wimps.

So here I am, bouncing around in my house, tweeking out that I won't get out by 4pm today and the horses will starve.

They won't actually starve, but the BO is older and literally cannot handle feeding all 21 ponies on the farm, by herself, in 4-8 in of snow. FREAKING. OUT. WORRYING. GAH.

Not much I can do about it but I still hate being helpless!!


Just a reminder, contest closes THIS saturday at midnight! I only have 21 entries out of 103 possible so get them in there :P You know you want something like thiiiisss...

Or this!

Drew these last night! So enter HERE! Its easy!

Big Girl Panties

As I sit here listening to my rap music, chomping on carrots and chugging coffee during my break after-work-before-work (job hopping is the most fun) I realized I found a renewed vigor for horsey life.

Could be that I'm moving to server at work. (I realize this is super prestegious position and I want you all to curb your jealousy for a hot minute before you get green with envy over that one. I'm not even mad bro. Sure, I'm a college graduate with 3 part time, minimum wage jobs, but at least I HAVE a job(s).) Could be that the Luke Bryan concert my boy bought us tickets for, is THIS Saturday. Could be that I had two AMAZING rides on the grumpynose this week. Could be that my lady time is now over. Or that spring is around the corner and all I can think about it show season. I don't know, but I'm just in a better mood, despite my downfalls.

Either way, its a relief not feeling so anxious and wound tighter than a two year old racehorse at his first race. I have major issues keeping myself calm and I'm pretty sure I actually need xanex prescribed to me to ingest on a daily basis so I don't have panic attacks but I feel the "ignore it until I can do something about it" or "it is the way it is" attitude works pretty good right now. No use stressing over things I literally have zero power to change. I had to put my big girl panties on and realize I have more than most do and even though I probably should be on welfare because I rarely eat anything besides carrots and protein shakes & I can barely pay rent, I don't believe in that system. I prefer to be poor and EARN my money. That gives me purpose. One day I will find my niche. I graduated college early and I'm only 22. Lots of life yet to live with my horse(s), boy and dog.

So thats how I beat my winter blues. I hope with Spring around the corner everyone is seeing the light in the wintery chasm. Despite the winter shitstorm headed our way, I'm trying to keep my head up. I just see it as a chance to play in the snow :)

As I mentioned, Yankee was amazing in the 2 flatwork rides over the past few days. I also started a riding "journal". Really, its the smartpak calendar they sent me, but I wanted to keep track of our rides without forgetting. I conveniently tacked up my calendar above my saddles, so I won't forget. That way I can look back to our last ride(s), see what went well, what didn't & see upcoming shows and events. Anyone else have a riding journal? I used to keep one back when I rode at NSF because I rode so many babies and I wanted to keep track, but Yankee's fell by the wayside.

One last reminder, my contest for a custom horse portrait ends THIS SATURDAY! To enter, just answer the trivia question in the comment section HERE.

Also I got an instagram just for Yankee! I have a personal one (checkmark115), but this new one is all horsey exclusive. If you want to add me, its ottb_eventing

Thanks!

Contest Time!

Oh, baby, we made it! 100 beautiful, interesting, wonderful followers! I love it :)

As promised, I shall be running a contest for anyone who wants to enter. Its pretty simple. I have a trivia question for you, I want your answers, and the winner(s) get a hand drawn portrait of their baby! Horse babies, not real ones.

Note I said winners. Yep. Two. I shall explain.

There is only 2 answers to the trivia question, true, or false. I will draw a winner from the correct answer and the incorrect. The correct answer winner will win a 9x12 drawing out of any medium (your choice). The incorrect answer winner will win a 5x6 graphite drawing. I will frame them, but I can't promise they will be fancy since I am post-graduate poor.

To see some examples of what mediums and styles I am most proficient with, click here.

Now, drumroll please........(pretend you hear one)...

Q: True or False, Yankee can freejump up to 5ft.

If you want to include with your answer a little bit about yourself and your horse(s), I would love that! Not necessary to win, but I know there are some of you that aren't in my blogroll and/or frequent commenters.

Contest runs for one week, so it closes next Saturday.

Hope you guys find this fun!

As for the previous comments on my last post, I appreciate them as always :) Getting and keeping a rock solid core is difficult. I loved the comment about the "photo clinic", I didn't even think about the landing equitation part of a fence!

Twerkin'

 Yesterday we played around over a grid and practiced some 3'9 fences. I set up a 5 fence grid, all one strides and a 3 stride line-vertical to oxer.

The WWU Show is only 2 weeks away and I've been avoiding jumping 3'9 verticals. I have a deep rooted fear of vertical fences, for no real reason other than my own incapability to get over it, per say.

My horse takes such good care of me, that there is really no reason for me to be anxious about those giant people eating fences, but I just can't stop worrying we will crash right through it.

western poneh

As a warm up we played over the grid,  and went through diagonally towards to vertical on the outside line...

I LOVE asking Yanks  to go over fences diagonally! It really plays with their brain and helps them to jump better over the bigger fences. Sometimes too in competition to get ou tof a tight spot you have to take the diagonal option so its always good to practice.

We hopped over the vertical a few times at 3'3 and I worked on staying where I should (no jumping ahead) and practicing my auto release.

Then we jacked it to 3'9. SCARY. TERRIFYING. IMIGHTDIE. The hardest part for me is to WAIT for the gosh dang fence to come to me and not jump ahead. It really throws Yanks off, but he always saves my ass no matter how much I screw him up...

GAH. Why do I revert back to this in fear? Luckily for me I have a horse who could care less anymore. When he was a wittle OTTB, he def wasn't as life saving. So lucky to have my clerp clerp.

I think we tried it 7 times and almost all of them we nailed perfectly! Yankee seemed bored actually, but he was jumping with such bounce and loft that I didn't mind too much. Funny thing is that massive oxers dont bother me a bit, but  I feel much more prepared and relaxed about tackling 3'9 verticals.

Been working on my position a TON

 He had a good roll in the mud today on his day off, which always makes me happy to see :)

Redemption

Quick update before these sleeping meds start to work, lolz.

I want to thank everyone for their encouraging and helpful comments! This is why we blog; for the support of everyone who knows what the ups and downs of horse ownership feels like. So what if we are online friends, we still have that relationship that makes us feel better when we're down, where we can get advice when we need it and where we can brag about our successes without feeling narcissistic. I love all 99 of you :)

I need you all to stand up for me. Ok, now sit back down.


I RODE today.

Craziness, I know.

And it was actually very good. I forced myself to get dressed in riding breeches, sports bra AND tall socks so I had ZERO excuses. I still tried to talk my way out of it. I even texted Jackie that I failed to ride today, even dressed the part. Then, as I was bringing pony in, I decided, "I DO want to ride today".

Decided to do soem dressage work in my favorite saddle, which happens to not be a dressage seat, but my jumping saddle. I just feel comfortable in it and I wanted to be happy today.

We kept to a lot of walking working on walk pirouettes, lateral work (sidepass and shoulder fore/in) and a few walk-canter transitions. We barely trotted, and the trot work we did do was long and low. I wanted to keep him relaxed, but marching. He obliged like a gentleman. Nothing like last Thursday.

I'm one of the oddballs that actually LOVES dressage and I was pleased with our 30 min. school today. A few of the Barn Ladies were complimenting Yankee and asking what my show plans for the year were, which was slightly depressing. BUT, they seemed apologetic and supportive nonetheless. I'm always floored when warmblood dressage owners love my little OTTB. :)

I've been thinking if I should ask for small sponsors. I don't even know how to go about that, but a lot of the ladies really do love Yankee & they seem to like me, and it could never hurt to ask? I don't know, I'm too proud/ bashful to ask for something as huge as that.  Who knows.

Anyways, going to bed satisfied with that ride and looking forward to gridwork with H and Pronto tomorrow :D

Thank again for your incredibly supportive and kind words!

Winter Blah Blahs

This might be a little more than lackluster due my ridiculous fatigue and forgetfullness. I'm also craving chocolate and its making it hard concentrate. Even the word concentrate looks like chocolate.

This weekend I attended the joyous festivities that is the nations 2nd largest Mardi Gras celebration, only to New Orleans. It was interesting. I actually stayed sober since the rest of my group was a little less than conscious of where they were and I felt obligated to be the responsible one. Gosh, it is such a drag being the adult at a party. I did get to wear some bitchin pants though. Goodwill has some legit options.

The boy and me. I'm standing on my tip toes, ha.

At least the weekend was a slight pick-me-up from the desolate and depressing mood I've been in lately around the barn. All I do is work work work pick poop work fill water work sleep (barely) work cash checks work work work and I'm never any richer. I have no savings and there is absolutely no way I can show Yankee the way I want to. He has all the skills and more but there is nothing I can do about it and I feel like the last 7 years has just been a futile & delirious effort, thinking we could ever get to starred levels without having mommy and daddy pay for every little thing.

All I need is a real job to secure my finances, but there are none to be found. Looks like the college degree was a waste of time too.

I haven't ridden since last Thursday,  but that ride was productive at least-we jumped a little bit and he was a beast. I jacked it up to 3'6-3'9 and he took it like a pro, per usual.

But lately I'm having a more than difficult time getting motivated to do any riding, especially with the jacked up weather fluctuations. Not sure if its the winter blues, or what but I keep making excuses not to ride. I spend most of my time daydreaming about all the shows I COULD go to this season and making up workout plans, exercises for Yanks, etc., but then I realize it will probably never happen for me & Yankee ever again. I just don't have the money.  We probably will never get to Prelim, or even 2*. I bought him to be my 4* horse and its probably the most depressing thing in the world to think that he will never get there with me.

I don't know if its because his legs have started to swell after every workout and while in a stall, how grumpy he is getting or whatever, but I have this insane feeling that one day he will just come up lame and never be sound again. To me, 10 is ANCIENT for an OTTB and I can't handle it.

I can never get out of this mindset for more than a few weeks, no matter if we have a few good rides or not. The effort is futile.

I get especially irritated with those who take all they have for granted. I'm never jealous, I just wish some people knew how freaking awesome they had it, instead of complaining about everything under the sun. What I would give to show my horse again.

Lord, what a ridiculous statement THAT is too! First world problems to the max. I realize I am lucky to have what I have and I do feel slightly accomplished at what I've achieved in the past. But my ENTIRE life I've spent devoting to eventing, hoping I could make it big; working off lessons, shows, bills. Always working. I never really had a backup plan and now that I've failed, I'm flailing and panicking.

That was a lot more depressing than I wanted it to be. I just wonder if I'm the only one here, grasping at strings, hoping that maybe just *one* day all my work will pay off. It sucks to think it was all for nothing.

Now that I've got that out of my system I should be good for a few more weeks. har har.

Its getting Close :D

I only need 2 more followers before I run a contest for s lucky reader to win a drawn portrait of their horse done by yours truly! It was voted on and the decision was almost unanimous! Im sorry to those who want a OTTB Tee, but I too am too poor to buy one, so my lowly drawing will have to suffice.

I've been having fun debating what kind of question to ask for the contest, but in the meantime I wanted to show some examples of my work.

Most of my stuff is quick sketches I just think of in my head, and I'm not so much a realist as an impressionist, in a sense. My lines are flowy, loose and not always connected. But I CAN do realist, as you will see in the portrait I did of my own love.

Hope you all enjoy!

Oh, and let me know what kind of drawing is your favorite. Pencil, pen, charcoal or color!

Pen, 10 min freehand

Color, 10 hour, colored charcoal, large canvas work

15 min freehand, vine charcoal (I love drawing pirouettes!)

I did this as a present for someone. From L-R, colored pencil, charcoal, pastel, pen

Charcoal, freehand 15 min

Charcoal, freehand, 20 min

Vine charcoal, 20 min freehand

My favorite drawing EVER. Of my Yankee baby.

I have some examples of non horsey stuff too :P

Hope you all can decide what you want :D