Chasing the Dream

I DO apologize for the cliffhanger, but I had to make ya'll wait for it.

It was SUPER hard keeping this a secret and has been in the works for a few weeks now.

As most of us know, this year has been a whirlwind and not quite gone where I intended, but I am NOT complaining. I moved, got a real adult person job, started a savings account, bought a beautiful baby horse, got badly injured, learned a few things, catch rode at a USEA show on another awesome OTTB, and got to see my OTTB baby improve and grow.

In January, another year had arrived and I was determined, yet again, to make it to shows and move up a level, or even JUST qualify for Championships. I KNEW Yankee had the potential and I knew with work we could do it. We had 2 very early season shows and ROCKEd out. I knew we had it in the bag.

Riiight.

I was delusional in thinking I could do it on my own, having a continuos, but not yet determined fear of large fences and competitions. Also blindly and stubbornly pushing aside the fact that I was a college graduate, with REAL bills to pay and 3 meager part time jobs that ate all of my free time.

The hardest part of this year was finally accepting that I was NOT doing okay enough financially to compete, and take lessons, and clinic and do all the things. I simply was not. No amount of shifts would make this possible. Also. I finally admitted to myself that I was scared. Really truly, scared, to jump. WHAT? I was? no. Yes. I've been denying that for years, literally. And refused to believe it. But it was true. All our problems came from my fear of crashing and burning and ultimately dying.

I had never been afraid until Yankee and I slid through a fence during a stadium round, due to some terrible footing, in 2010 and were eliminated. It was horrifying. I had never failed like that before and it ate me up inside. From that day on, I changed. Then I fell at a show in 2012. HARD. On XC no less, and again elimiated. I was done for after that. I ignored the feelings of fear and pushed through but Yankee knew, and he started refusing jumps. I knew deep down, but didnt want to admit it. It was too hard.

Where is all of this going you say?

If you stalk my FB at all, you know the answer...but for the rest of us, I would like to announce that this fine ass,

.....Is going back West

Before everyone gets their panties is a wod....it is with great excitement, hope, and gratitude, as I write this, that Yankee will be joining Paradox Farm in KS on November 23, for an undefined period of time. The Stiver sisters will be leasing Yankee in the hopes of taking him into the upper levels of eventing and will begin winter training in December in preparation for the 2015 Spring season. They have 2 insanely amazing coaches and he will be ridden weekly in lessons. Both sisters have qualified and goen to the AECs numerous times and their record is impeccable. Both have OTTBs of their own, past and present and are currently in full time working student positions.

This was truly a stroke of luck and randomness, as I was not planing to lease Yankee out for another year or so.

I knew eventually he would have to move on, with the addition of Baby B joining the crew, but I did not expect all the puzzle peices to fall into my lap and fit so wonderfully.

Its going to be hard, but I am eternally grateful that my boy will be getting trainiend regualry and shown! Its even harder because our TEN year anniversary is coming up.

Such adorable baby nuggets we were

Its insane to think how long I've had him, and all the trials, tribulations and wonderful experiences we've had together.

Our first USEA show together in 2007

We've made it so far! From little weenie fences and horrible dressage tests, to winning jumper rounds and seriously good scores.

Our first training together in 2009

XC love

He's been my heart, my comfort, my angel and my soulmate...in horse form

But I know that I can take him no farther. As much as I dreamed to take him 1* when I was younger, my adult brain is too cautious and self preserving to dream or rocketing around those massive XC courses with him. His adventure is to continue, with someone else.

USDF Team Champs

Its going to kill me not seeing him everyday, but it will mae me SO happy knowing hes out doing what he loves, instead of sitting around my pasture, getting ridden every once in a while when I have time.

I dont want anyone to think Bacardi replaced him either. It was my intention to work with both of them. I dreamed for YEARS to have two OTTBs under my wing and it finally happened! PRoblem being, I can only do so much and go so far. I cant make Yankee any better! BUut I sure can work with greenie B. I think thats my calling to be honest.

Maybe someday I will run around Prelim, but for now, I am OK at the lower levels, bringing up babies. Its truly gratifying!

5ft is too easy for Yanks

The decision was easy once I had all the facts. My baby will be in the best hands and I will get him back someday. I cant wait to see where else this truly astonishing horse can go and I hope you all will stick with his journey too!

I'm gonna miss this face, but he will be running around XC living and chasing the  dream!

A Weight Walk

Lets talk a walk. A walk through Bacardi's rollercoaster weight gains and losses and gaiiinz.

His first off the track owner got him straight off the track and he was in mediocre racing shape. I think it was around September. I really cannot remember.

This first picture set is the day before she picked him up and 2 months after she had him in her care. I heard a few horror stories about his days at the racetrack, involving small stalls and many hours jammed into said small stall. Might explain his fear of small spaces. Like trailers.

Crazy huh? He looks SO good in that second picture in comparison. In every aspect, it looks like his body lengthens out and he gains muscles in new places. Plus, he's blooming! I of course, had seen these pictures all over facebook and drooled over him from afar. I still can't believe he's  mine now!

This next picture was right in the beginning of winter, a few months after she took ownership, and he looks FABULOUS.

 I can't get over how freaking chunky, and muscley and adorable he is. I mean, look at dat ASS. For an OTTB, thats impressive. Not to mention his overall conformation in general. *swoons* Can you see why I stalked him for months (literally almost a year).

His owner then leased him, is my understanding, and moved him to a different barn to be closer to his rider. The following picture is 3 months after the one above and the difference is DRASTIC and scary...

Seriously, how terrifying. His whole spine, hips, withers and ribs are clearly showing. Not to mention his coat is no longer lustrous.  His owner had trusted his care to someone else and his lessee didn't notice that THIS horse was basically starving. Even through winter, this is unacceptable. She was furious and moved him again.

He steadily gained weight under her care again, but as we ALL know, getting a skinny OTTB fat (or any horse really) can be painfully slow and painstaking and EXPENSIVE.

I then bought him from her several months out of winter, around May. The grass was starting to come in really well and he was slowly gaining weight at his current barn.

When I moved him, he did well on the grain Yankee was on, in addition to long and low workouts and a LOT of hacking out. He muscled up again and gained weigth ever so slowly. It KILLED me. I just wanted him fat!! It took a few months to find the perfect balance of grain rations, hay and fat supplement but the "end" result was amazing!

Picture below is June- September.

Look at dat neck! I love it. He is such a stunner, always has been!

I sadly did terrible job remembering to take an October photo so there was no comparison from sept-october.... Probably for the better considering I MAYBE rode him 3 times in October and he spent the majority of the time mud bathing. I think he lost most of his topline again, but he did develop an impressive hay belly.

Here  are some pics from today.

Looking past the HORRENDOUS clip job (please someone give me clippers or blades to borrow), he's still looking pretty shiny even with a winter coat. His hay belly game is strong and I love it. He's lost a bit of his topline, but overall appears in good weight and I'm happy with him. Some long hacks and good flatwork training will build that muscle all winter long.

Hopefully with blanketing and all the hay he's eating he will maintain his good health!

We will make an eventer outta him one day!

BIG MASSIVE insane news. Stay tuned for the latest happening...coming soon. (if you stalk me on Fb or insta it will most likely pop up there first)

Rocket Man

I said I would discuss my last ride with B, and here I am, almost a week after it occurred, in typical late Monica fashion.

I also was putting it off a bit because I really hate admitting defeat or struggle. We will get to that in minute.

First off I would like to virtually bitch slap blogger for never getting its shit together with my old layout. Its settings are all wonky and some of my widgets are all screwed. In addition, and most importantly, I can make my pictures extra big. And thats like, imperative. Because pictures.

Especially ones like this that I just really like looking at. Levi tails crack me up. And B is really starting to look nice. And FAT.

dat hay belly doe

Trot swag

He's been a little beast under saddle as of late. I have yet to have a truly terrible ride on him. I know I've said this over and over, but he truly impresses me with his work ethic for such a young lad. The big little man tries so damn hard for me and never gives me any real attitude, ever.

Any flack I get from him is just from a lack in training. I have to remember that he's only five, and not a grown ass adult horse. Its just so hard when your baby is so fucking quiet.... and does literally perfect flying changes (no I mean literally perfect. Go stalk my FB page for the video. Youtube was also on its period and refused to let me share it).

Quietest flying change...ever

I suppose some horses have more of a propensity for changes because poor Yankee is almost 14 (sobs a little) and STILL loses his effing mind over changes. I truly wonder if he will ever be able to do them with any kind of composure. I'll take 1/2 horses doing changes though.

Our only internal struggle with each other seems to be jumping.

I havent had any truly difficult hardships since I was a wee child when it comes to jumping. I've had a decent form, OK skill and until recently, no fear. But god bless it, I cannot seem to ride my dear baby horses' jump to save my life. And he cant seem to jump even the smallest of fences like a normal horsebeast.

Please meet, rocket man.

srsly B?

For the first couple fences, everytime, he does this weird rock back dealio and LAUNCHES over it liek it might eat him for dinner. Every. Time. He also refuses the first time I ever present him to a fence. Not good.

And I go flying. Every. Time.

Graceful

The most awkward 

No matter what I do, I always end up flying backwards upon landing. If I try and 2 point to the fence...flying off. If I try and close my body angle and stay close...flying off. If I grab mane, I still fly backwards. I swear to god this horses' jump is impossible for me to figure out and it makes me want to cry a little.

I try my best to not jab him in the face, and usually do OK with that. His old owner told me he likes loose contact to the fence and that seems to hold true. Hope I can rule out fear of face jabbing. I'm wondering if he's scared. But then later ATTACKS the fences. So ruling that out. Doe she hurt elsewhere? Doesnt seem to be. Or is he just green? Most likely.

Hes MY horse. I should be able to fucking ride him.

Granted, I've jumped him 4 times, and all over crossrails. But STILL.

At a loss over what to do with this one. Why does he jump so awkwardly at first (and mostly in general)? Why cant I ride him? Questions questions.

I gave up over crossrails and set up a baby oxer to see if he would be a little more round and not...squatty. I also pushed him to the fence. He has a tendency to sputter out before, like hes a little unsure of himself an his legs. As you will see though, after a couple fails, he really gets into the groove.

.

I guess its just hard to accept that I need to work on rudimentary skills when you're used to scaling 5ft fences with superbeast Yankee and rocking out XC courses.

So what do you guys do when youre feeling a little discouraged? Any suggestions for his wacky jump style or what else I could do to keep my butt in the saddle?

7 Weeks

Thats how long its been since I've ridden this dreadfully handsome horsebeast.

Rather dashing, for a mud buffalo disguised as an eventing horse. And can we also please notice how dapper levi looks in dog clothes?

Yankee's time off culminated from the lack of organization in my life, hectic schedule and minor injuries to Yankee feets.

To recap; we had that whole debacle with the first farrier I tried when we moved back to OH. Not only could the farrier not keep shoes on, but he charged for it everytime he had to come out to put them back (not customary in my experience). Yankee ripped his shoes off 10 times in the span of 3 months, 7 of them I believe on the RF. As you can imagine, the RF was shredded. Then, we pulled the shoes in an attempt to save what little hoof wall we had- wrong choice, and he got a mega stone bruise. New farrier set beautiful shoes on him (they stayed by the way, in all the mud and weather fuckery) and I continued to give his fat self time off.

It did wonders.

He was feeling fresh and perfect when I tacked him up Sunday for the first time in SEVEN weeks. Thank God for Bacardi or I wouldve gone insane.

Luckily, I still got to play with him while he was on his vaca getting fat and shaggy- in what little "spare" time I had. In a lackluster attempt to de-shag him a I attempted to clip him in some cool and fashionable way.

Please disregard all horrible eq in photograph

Unfortunately for the boys, my clippers shit out mid clips, so Yankee is stuck with this and poor B looks so so sad half fully body clipped. Luckily for Yanks, I was smart and did ass first, then front trace. I wanted to get a trace done on B too that night, but then got clipper happy and kept rolling right along until *bzzzzzzz-shhiiiitttt*.

NEVR BREAK THE CARDINAL RULE OF CLIPPING: do not clip one full side, then the next. Always match sides evenly and clip a pattern that will look good if clippers shit out. I knew this and still disobeyed and now my baby looks ridiculous.

I digress.

Yankee was wonderful. Not an ounce of stiffness or lack of energy in his body. He wanted to go go go

Honestly, how does one even trot that big?

Not much else to report on that ride...fatty magoo got tired after 5 minutes (literally) and I didn't wan to overwork the poor guy.

I also rode B, but thats for another post. Just wanted to share my majestic steed and all his wonderful ass glory. 

Happy Almost Halloween

This has been your courtesy Halloween well-wishing, may the ghoulies and ghosties stay far away

Baby Steps

Siting here feeling extremely guilty for blogging since I skipped the gym this AM and working Bacardi...so many excuses, so little time.

GET IT TOGETHER MONICA.

Luckily I can workout at home after the day job...but unless I want to ride in the dark, I kind of dropped the ball on that one.

Its really hard to be motivated when there are no shows coming up. I try to tell myself this is the "training period", but when you have no arena and the ground is shit, you really don't get much done anyways and I'm like why even.

Just one of those weeks I guess.

I shall do better tomorrow.

The three times I worked him last week were amazing at least. Going back to my last post about connection, he really was a total gem and I guess 3 weeks off did him well.

I have this theory that OTTBs need mini vacays to let things sink in. When they come back they're all refreshed and wonderful and perfect until the next time they have a meltdown.

That means Yankee should be wonderful when I finally ride him again -_-

He's coming up on his 7th week off....and I'm cringing at those words. I look at him and see an EXTREMELY fat horse with no topline and it hurts my soul deep inside. I keep telling myself he needed it after all the fuckery with his feet, but it still hurts me.

Some randomly placed pic of B being AWESOME

For those of you that asked, the hay thats outside is a round bale. My massive square bale lives inside. Its a BITCH to deal with, but its super good quality and should last me forever. At $55 I could NOT pass that up. And the horses are LOVING their round bales.

I've been attempting to clip the beasts. I say attempting, because after 5AM wake-up times,  6Am workouts, 8 AM rides, 10 Am report to work, 8 hour days, 40 minute commutes and getting home at 7:40 PM leaves me WIPED the FUCK OUT and all I want to do is sleep when I get home. I have a pile of chores to do, and tasks to complete and the list is never ending and always growing. Does anyone else have difficulty getting things done after the sun goes down after a long day? Yeah.

Also. fun fact, Bacardi does not clip very well. Spastic and explosive could be terms used to describe the fun that is clipping him. I ended up twitching him, which put him to sleep but one can only do so much ALONE holding a twitch in one hand and clippers in the other. Meaning B has his neck and shoulders clipped but nothing else. He looks like an idiot.  Yanks has his butt design and his neck and chest shaved for now. If I ever get him back into work I shall remove his hair clothes fully.

Liek I said though, besides being an idot about clipping, the red nugget has been brilliant. Last time I rode I worked on loosening him up a bit. 3 weeks off did wonders for his brain, but not his body. Talk about riding a 2x4

must..not...touch

prolly the cutest pic on the internet

I started off with some trot poles. Which he obviously cleared with feet to spare. But hey, got all those joints loosened up aye?

I love this

hock action

New fav

Then I asked for some really nice and round, but active work in the trot and canter for about 10 minutes. He delivered quite nicely. Love this guys leg action all around. He tries so hard!

I love this...relaxation!

working on perfecting those 20M circles

can you see the baby clip?

I kept the ride short since he's been out of work, but it was productive. Afterwards I let him stretch through the bridle in the trot. Mildly surprising he did it considering all the tense weeks I've had with ihm in the past. This is the FIRST time he's EVER stretched down for me.

Started off looking like a hunter princess

To some awkward, yet nice stretching

I always think horses look like theyre diving down to the ground when they stretch, but at least he was keeping his hind legs active. And reaching forward in front. When Yankee stretches, the hardest thing for him to do is keep on truckin with the rhythm. Glad the baby gas some basics.

Maybe one day I will perfect this schedule, but right now I'm struggling to swim. Glad the horses don't care and enjoy pasture lounging on the days I can't motivate my lazy butt.

Hay is Happiness

And rocks. Lots of rocks.