Product Review For the Broke Bitches: Piper Breeches

After JUST posting about How To Post, I get a "lucky break" in my day when I woke up to a flat tire (MY SECOND OF THE WEEK THANKS UNIVERSE) and couldn't go workout or ride, which gives me approximately 30 minutes to do this review I've been wanting to do for ages now on aforementioned Piper Breeches.

it is no secret that riding is expensive. The horse is expensive. The facilities are expensive. Horse care is expensive. You need expensive tack. And also you need "riding clothes" to ride said expensive horse in expensive tack at expensive facility.

You get the gist.

I have never been one to truly care about my riding attire.

Like at all.

After paying for everything else, clothes specifically made for riding were last on my list of things to buy.

You can catch me 3/5 times riding in $6 leggings from walmart, or actual sweatpants and a nasty old T shirt from middle school.

That being said, it doesn't mean I dont appreciate or lust after nice clothes.

I am a girl. A horse girl, but still a girl.

FITS have been #1 on my list forever, but the price I literally can never justify. Along with how ridiculously hard it is to size my weird body, I will continue to just lust after them.

Second on my list was Pipers. I had heard nothing but good things about them, but at like $90 something I still was like ehhhhhhh, no.

Then they went on sale.

This bitch loves sales and will buy things on sale even if I shouldn't...because SALE.

So I bought a pair on a whim. I really do like full seats for jumping and NONE of my fullseats fit me.  Like at all. They all sag in the crotchal region and just fall down and look awful and NO. Pipers were fire on the models on the site. So cute, yes please. And colors, SO MANY COLORS.

So brace yourself for a LOT of selfies. Most of them taken of snapchat, so I'm sorry. 

 
First off, I literally had no clue what my size was because I'm usually a medium and they're like, waist size, inseam size, length blah blah, I got lost after waist.

So I guessed.

It was a wrong guess, so I had to send them back and wait on another pair. First world problems.

Then the glorious day came and I got them in the mail!

I tried them on immediately and...didn't like them. WHOMP WHOMP.

First thoughts 1) really tight-how will I get in a saddle 2) these sag too, fuck 3) really thick, its summer and 90* wtf 4) these would be cute AF if I didnt have a huge ass

Second thoughts upon closer inspection, they are REALLy well made. The material seems like it would last a long time and I love the stitching.

Also, the leg doesn't have that horrible elastic near the ankle, instead its this super thin mesh material that is really amazing.

Also also, I realized I was trying to wear them like hip huggers. Either I'm built really weird or these arent meant to be worn like that because as soon as I hiked them up and belted them there, they didnt sag. The first time I rode in them I was like seriously what the actual fuck, these suck.

The fuck is this bulge doing here?

As for riding review...not meant for summer. Holy hot AF. The material is quite thick IMO and I sweat more than usual in them. And they do.not.breathe at all. Essentially I was dying in them with tall boots on.

These would be excellent for fall or winter though. So the search continues for summer full seats.

Also, like I said before, they were REALLY tight when I first put them on. However, after riding in them once they seemed to mold and stretch a little and they were pretty nice after that. I still dont think I could hang out in them all day, or even a few hours, like I could my cheap schooling breeches, but thats OK I guess. I do like all the jiggliness being sucked in while flopping around on top of my horse, but I do appreciate comfort as well.

I'm not a huge fan of the pocket either. Handy for unmounted business, but while in the saddle literally nothing will stay in the damn pockets. Which would be useful for hacks.

As for the full seat, I like it. The material isnt so thick it gives you that weird "four buttcheeks" look from slicing your ass in half with the hem, but it still functions as a grippy seat.

Overall if I had to make up a random score, I would give a 7/10 due to the thickness of the material, needing a belt to stay in place, slight discomfort over long periods of time, as well as the retail price.

If they go on sale again I might buy a different color, but for now, as a broke bitch, I will stick with my Kerrits pull on jods and walmart leggings and keep the Pipers for special occasions. Not worth paying full price, but nice enough to splurge on very occasionally.

Surprise Surprise

I sound like a broken record. 

I literally don't know how you all do this. 

Blog. 

With lives. 

Everyday or semi everyday. 

I have enough time (barely) to sleep, make my lunches, gym, work & ride. That's it. 

Boarding has helped tremendously. 

I've ridden almost every other day, which is fucking fabulous. We look like shit because each of us has taken a solid amount of time off (like holy shit, we are weak AF), so please disregard position and things. 

I just haven't had time to blog about it, because, you know, adulting.  (It's also not horribly interesting because I am currently working on both of us getting our strength back. Which is a lot of slow, annoying work and little bit of more of tasty complicated work, tossed in like bacon bits on a salad. Think of the long and slow work like lettuce. Necessary & good for you, but evil.) 

Like, I finally put my laundry away. This hasn't happened in literal months. It usually lives in rotating piles of cleanliness or filth. 

Don't even want to mention the pile of bills I acquired from hospitalization that haunt my dreams. 

But I still want to blog, just haven't been able to. 

I don't know if it's just me, but it takes me almost a full hour to write one post that I'm satisfied with. And I have several on deck that need to be written, which translates to several hours of writing, formatting and getting pictures on said posts. 

It's a pain in the ass honestly. 

I can do so from work when it's slow, but only from my phone, due to internet restrictions. And I HATE the formatting from mobile blogger. It's also harder to write & make it flow/sound okay, on a tiny screen. 

So my question to you all is, how the frick do you do it?? Live lives, do things and still find the time to write beautiful, well thought out, lovely posts...like everyday 

#strugglebus

In Heaven

I hate posting from my phone because it messes the format up and the pics are all small and weird, but I can't wait until I have time to do so from the desktop. You all NEED to see Bacardi in his new barn. Obviously. 

He was wonderful on moving day. I was feeling a bit rushed because I got home later than planned. It was also storming off in the distance and the thunder was rolling. To top it off, it was opening day of dove season and the hunters were going wild. 

Wasn't really sure how well Bacardi would load, since is been about 5 weeks, but he took it mostly in stride. He was anxious, and I don't blame him, but after one lunging discussion ad about 12 min he hopped right on without breaking a sweat. Good man!

 

Luckily, minus running late, this was a very low stress move. We've been there several times for lessons and it's only about 15 min from my house. 

SCORE. 

My sweet nugget unloaded without issue as well, which is a HUGE step. Huge. 

My trainer made me feel so welcome, and had a stall all ready with a cute little sign. 

B settled right in, like literally right in. He dove right in to the hay pile. 

He explored a little and I left him to sniff around before I removed his boots. 

I felt very confident leaving him overnight & gave my trainer the go ahead to turn him out. 

His turnout buddy is a tiny spotted pony and they're alone in a big field with a run in shed. 

B escaped sassy pony with just a small bite mark on his butt, but otherwise unscathed. 

I returned the next day to ride (OMGYAY) and he was asleep. 

Okay I knew this was a good idea. He's so at home already!

Sexual horse is sexual. Look at him. Just look at him. 

He was also an absolute DREAM on our ride. 

We first went for a walk but then It was getting dark so I stayed inside even though it was humid (I rode after dark guys!)  

Really I just wanted to work on bending, impulsion and some transitions. Since he's just getting back into it I kept it short and sweet. 

He really delivered. 

Right off the bat he was relaxed and through the contact. He really marched up in the free walk and when I started asking for bend through his entire body, he really moved his rib age. I was so proud. 

I asked for a little bit of trot work, spiraling circles and serpentines, and even cantered one lap each direction. Not a super exciting ride, but fabulous nonetheless. 

His canter felt...quick. To be expected. I don't think I will do much with that for a while until he gets a little more muscle back. But overall, a truly wonderful ride. I can't even put it into words! 

We are back & I couldn't be happier to be writing that check each month to have this opportunity! 

On this three day weekend, I'm hoping to ride 2/3 days, drag the boyfriend out to video and maybe do a SMALL course of cross rails just to see how it feels. 

GAH I'm so excited.  

That Escalated Quickly

Actual, possible earth shattering news ahead.

So you know how you like, casually make plans in your head and maybe casually mention it to a person or two...and they take it and run a marathon with it?

WELL.

I somehow ended up unofficially officially selling Lilly and finding a spot at a boarding barn, all within the last 24 hours.

YEAH.

So I had mentioned as a sidenote to my trainer that I was noodling downsizing my herd.

I wanted to eventually sell my dear Lilly (serious tears) and then move B to her barn, if possible.

She then messages me and is like "well I have a spot, you can move in tomorrow" and I'm like, "um wat. Please repeat, did you say tomorrow?" Thats like, 7 hours away!

Do you accept limbs as payment?

So of course I accept because how often does that happen? You want a spot and one just magically opens?

One, this would "somewhat" cut down my expenses. I half heartedly did the math in my head and it doesn't quite balance out.

BUT.

When you think about all the time I spend doing stalls, feeding, running home to feed and do stalls then rush off elsewhere (because those damn horses apparently have to eat twice a day), holding for vet and farrier, changing blankets, doing stalls, getting bedding for stalls, getting hay, paying for bedding and hay, buying and obtaining grain, fixing fence, mowing, spraying weeds, scrubbing buckets, filling buckets, chopping ice on buckets, sweeping, doing stalls and then maybe possibly, might having time to ride.

Yeah.

Worth every penny to me.

No one knows true anxiety until they have horses at home. I literally cannot go ANYWHERE (let me repeat, anywhere-not even a dinner out) without thinking of the horses first, and who will feed them, and omg I feel guilty for leaving and do I trust said person to turn them out and ohmygodicant. I don't even know what its like not care for my own horses. Even when I did "board" it was self care and I still fed twice a day and did my own stall/paid for supplies. I honestly will not miss it. I trust my trainer and I will FULLY relinquish responsibility in lieu of writing a check every month,

Two, I would get to ride (as noted previously). Actually ride. All fucking winter long. Because INDOOR ARENA. Whenever the fuck I want. 10PM? Cool. 6AM? Nice. Long lunchbreak? Have at it. AND JUST RIDE. Thats it. Groom my baby, tack up, ride, tend to horse, leave. Thats it.

Three, I wouldn't have to so stalls. Did I mention how much time it takes to do stalls? Even JUST two?

So I am completely justifying this outrageous new payment my life, for freeing up my time to do normal people things. Like laundry. And balance my checkbook. And make my bed. And not crash into bed every night, dead. And not spend half my time worrying about where I will get hay from and when I can squeeze in a stop at the feed store. And maybe, actually be able to go back to school, or see my friends or have a life in general.

Plus my trainers barn is swanky as fuck and B will be living the life of luxury. He will feel like a KING.

When I show up to ride he's gonna be like,

I'll have to remind him who is footing the bill.

It almost makes me feel more like an adult, sending the child off, and then I remember adulting is just a constant stream of writing checks.

Really though, this is huge for us. I am hoping he will progress much quicker with more work (le duh) and NOT spend the whole winter miserable and unworked.

Selling Lilly sucks, but its life. Horses come and go, unfortunately. I took a hard look at my finances vs my time and decided this lovely animal is better suited in a home that might actually use her more often and for a better purpose than to cart my boyfriend or dad around. And a very capable and worthy buyer just happened along, just at the right time.

Though she does a damn good job

It will suck and I will miss her, but it seemed fiscally responsible right now. Three horses? Insert crying laughing emoji. I just can't keep every horse I own, and its stilly to think thats possible at 24.. Unless your name is Yankee Wonder. That horse will be with me until I die.

Anyways, that my news. Coupe of months earlier than I planned, but hey, still awesome.

Happiness & Sadness

First off, I have been forgetting to thank everyone for all the well-wishes for both the beast and myself! It is GREATLY appreciated <3 p="">
Secondly, more earth-shattering news ahead.

I rode my horse.

At a walk.

IT. WAS. GREAT.

Heres another pic of my horse standing there being adorable as fuck

Never in my life have I been more excited to go for a walking hack.

He felt really great actually. Quite forward and chipper. It was almost like he was happy to be back at work again. I am giddy that hes "back at it" WAY before expected.

I will admit that I couldn't resist asking for a little bit of trot. It too felt better than I expected, but far from great. I can definitely tell he's lost some muscle and he is extremely on the forehand. Like, really on the forehand. I can't blame the horse, his back feet have been killing him for weeks. But I think we are out of the woods and in the clear (s/o to TSwift) & just need to get back in shape.

I'm not going to go out and sign up for a bajillion fall shows, but I am excited to slowly rebuild our muscle together and heal.

Partners who heal together stay together.

Happy ears

Lol at how small that saddle is for me. I was also wearing my new Piper breeches and have a few words to say about them. Look forward to a product review on them!

Speaking of words, My bad luck seems to be running away with me because my BRAND NEW Fitbit fell off while I was riding at the fucking walk and got absolutely destroyed by a vehicle.

Seriously? Like, really?

What kind of FITNESS band falls off randomly? Especially a brand new one? I am crushed, much like my Fitbit and the company may or may not have heard a few words from me. And they weren't sweet as pie thaaats for sure. I am a reasonable human, but come on.

Creaky Bones

I dusted off the old hag today with the full intent to do nothing but observe his movement and see how he was doing.

I was not expecting anything special, considering hes been sitting in a paddock stuffing his face for weeks.

"Human...why?"

Thats the face of a horse who's having none of it.

Don't get me wrong, he was perfectly civil.

Too civil.

Thats very unlike him.

Hes not horrible anymore like he was a year ago, but he also has way more spunk usually.

Today he was perfectly fine shuffling along at the walk.

I studied him. He didnt look off anywhere. Just....eh. Not really moving. I can't blame him, he was probably creaky and felt a little stiff from all the isolation.

And then I heard it.

A very loud cracking sound everytime he stepped forward with his RH. (As a reminder, this was the foot with the abcess.)

Surely not...

So I listened closer.

Yep. Definitely cracking. Every single step with that RH.

Peculiar.

Hes wasnt off. Did not seem concerned at all. It was just...cracking.

I asked for a trot and it went away.

OK what was going on?

Back to the walk, there it was again.

I watched his stifle thinking it might be there, but no, it definitely seemed like it was coming from the lower region.

I ran through a list of possibilities. Watched him like a hawk. Pushed aside panic.

As I stated before, he didnt seem lame, just a bit out of shape and lethargic. I also wasn't pushing too hard, but I still didnt want him thinking trifling around like a western pleasure horse was OK so I asked for a bit more than a shuffle and didn't get much. Thankfully without grumbling from him though, which was nice. I remained concerned though.

This was the most I got out of him today

About 6 weeks ago for comparison. *le sigh*

Fucking christ I hate giving horses time off. He looks like a completely different beast.

So what I'm asking from all of you is if you've experienced a cracking or popping on joints after a long break in work? I of course, am freaking out because I am a neurotic, anxiety ridden horse owner with a horse that has made it his main goal to cause me stress.

Help.

I've literally never had this happen to any of my horses and I've been around the horn a time or two. Even after MONTHS off.

We Have Turnout!

Earth shattering news ahead.

I turned my horse out.

He was not lame.

I celebrated.

Stepping back it looks like I completely abandoned him.  You can definitely see some muscle loss. His tail needs some major TLC. And that mane needs some grooming. Overall though, I'm ignoring the topline with extreme denial and celebrating that my horse is fucking sound & healing quickly.

My father deserves a trophy for doing stalls for a week, scrubbing and filling water troughs, dispensing foods and tending to the red nugget. I *almost* stressed that I wasn't the one caring for my horses because I am a complete control freak about some things, but I literally did not care.

Speaking of, I am finally back into the realm of the living, having adjusted to the pain, healed a little myself and finally been able to keep food down.

I dropped 13lbs in a week and I'm pretty sure all my gainz have been lost. But hey, more goals to strive towards right?

I digress.

The horse was feeling pretty great three days ago when I hobbled out to check on them just in case dad had somehow overlooked something. He was cantering around his paddock tossing his head around and I was like, nah I will wait to turn you out, just for good measure because I'm nervous and you are made of glass apparently.

I almost felt bad not letting him out in the pasture sooner, but I was trying to make it easier on The Faja, and I really was still worried...for some reason. Because you know, horses. What if he gashed his leg and I couldn't be there to fix it. Or stepped on a nail. Or broke his leg. Or died.

So, yeah, I played it safe.

Lilly Cameo

Please stop maiming yourself B, I can't take it.

Neither can my wallet.

SuperFarrier also advised to leave the wound open from now on and it developed a lovely scab and looks great, despite said scab grossness. SuperFarrier came out to check on it while I was in the hospital and dealt with my drugged up text responses to him. I love him.

Poop and scabs. All looks the same in photos.

So today, in typical me fashion, I probably over did it a little- but the stalls got a great cleaning, rebedded, horses got groomed, tank was scrubbed, aisle meticulously swept and hay stack tidied.

I did things.

Horse happiness is noms