Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Great Kick To The Thigh Synopsis and How Monica Almost Died But Not Really

I realize I basically dropped off the face of the blogging earth for a bit, but I needed my week-ish to sulk and be grumpy. (PMS so so wonderfully hit me full tilt right after my injury so I was a ball of human raw emotion for a few days) I netflixed almost 24 hours a day and cried into my pillow of shame.

Okay. I didn't cry. But I did sulk. Heavily.

I'm over it now and my leg feels A LOT better. By leaps and bounds actually. I can bend my knee and now walk without looking like a fat crippled penguin and I CAN GO UP AND DOWN STAIRS. Its a Christmas miracle. My friends are champions and helped me with chores & riding the Yankee horsebeast a little bit for me.

Looking majestic in the 6:30 AM fog

So steady.
Mostly though they're all sitting around getting FAT. Which I am 100% OK with. Yankee literally is a chunk. You can't even feel his ribs anymore and B has put on about 80lbs this month. I WISH I had taken a better "starting confo" pic. I lunged B a few times but he's too hyper and green for me to lunge at the moment.

Translation: Wild bebe OTTB is feeling his oats and his 2 weeks off and mommy can't hang on to a lunge line while balancing on one leg while he attempts to destroy mommy and her resolve.

I've had a significant amount of time with my grumpy pants on this week and took to trolling the internet and doing things that don't require walking. Like, finding homemade fly sprays and looking at tack I cant and don't need/can't afford. BUT I WANT AN OGILVY OKAY.

I resented for a bit telling the world who kicked me. Because it was none of their business and everyone on the internet has their own opinion about everything and I didn't want to hear it.

Now that I am in a better mood though and don't really care what anyone thinks, prepare yourselves for "The Great Kick To The Thigh Synopsis and How Monica Almost Died But Not Really"

It all started one day after a fierce four days of solid rain. My boarder and I wanted to hack out down the road since our lovely field arena was flooded.

In a twist of fate, we were running late (gotta beat the sun and bugs) and I was in a hurry to get to an appointment.

I grabbed some brushing boots and a body brush, and stupidly and complacently rushed into
Bacardi's stall.

Cue normal baby OTTB response.

He reared, quite magnificently, as I bent down to put his boot on. My mind still hadn't registered that a giant Thoroughbred was above me thrashing wildy at the monster that was his dumb human crouching like I was to attack and eat him. My bad B, my bad. As my tiny imbecile brain realized what was happening .5 seconds later, I made an awkward, seal-like movement to get out of the way and ended up falling backwards in a crouch, folded, like a tortilla over my feet. try to imagine it.

My life quite literally flashed, as I say him attempt to not step on me. And then he came down right on top of my thigh.

Full force, all of his weight. On my leg.

I immediately thought I had died because my vision went black and I felt like I had been shot with a cannon.

Turns out, it was just my muscles shearing in half from the intense force that a sharp baby hoof put on it.

As I slowly regained my vision ( I apparently screamed because my boarder came crashing into the stall while I tried to tell him NO DONT SCARE HIM AGAIN but it came out more like nuuuhhhhhhh, hubbb heeeeeeeeeem) and laid there on the ground. Trying to regain composure and GTFO of the stall. But I couldn't make my legs move. I was pretty sure I had broken my back.

Nah, I hadn't but trust me, the pain and adrenaline coursing through me assured me that I was indeed, dying a painful slow death.

I later learned that my legs, back, neck, arms, teeth and face had not been broken. But I did tear several muscle strands in my thigh. Before the hematoma  settled in, there was a disgusting indented hole in my muscle. It was gross. In a cool way.

So there I sat, with a nasty bruise and giant swollen leg, unable to move, really anything, without jarring the shit out of my leg.

So that was painful and scary.

Lesson here kids: Don't get complacent with ANY horse. You never know. Bacardi is a very good baby, and I forget he is STILL a baby. A spooky one at times. It was 100% MY fault and I was an idiot to rush at any horse from behind with boots in my hands. I. Am, an idiot.

So, yeah. That's my overly dramatic retelling. But that's what it felt like. Flash of legs. Flash of life. Cannon. Body shattering. Crying, dying. Realizing mostly fine. 7 Steps. Healing. And now I'm fine.

Sort of.

Still can't ride.


  1. We are all guilty of being complacent at times. And horses will still be horses. Shit happens! Just glad you are ok and you can tell the story now. :) Maybe it will be funny a few months down the road? :) Sending more healing thoughts!

  2. You know, I really wish you had some pictures of this leg of yours. I am quite intrigued by wounds. Maybe I have some issues...

  3. Urghh that sounds miserable. Someday when B is a badass eventer that practically puts his own boots on, you can tell this story though! Feel better soon!

  4. I agree with the war wound pics, they always add to a story ;) Everyone gets complacent, sometimes you get lucky. Sometimes you don't. Glad you weren't more seriously injured.

  5. Horses... they always find ways to remind you not to get complacent. Glad you are feeling better!

  6. Don't beat yourself up about it! I'm queen of complacent. Chrome is the calmest, laid back horse I have ever known and he had bashed me in the face with his by accident, stepped on my foot, kicked me because he didn't know I was behind him and then last winter I fell on ice right underneath him and he stepped on my shin literally scraping the skin right off of my leg. I still have a bruise from that seven months later. It's horses and it happens. They were all my fault too, but you live and learn. :-D I'm glad you're okay and feeling better!!

  7. Shit happens and we're all guilty of doing stupid as hell things. Don't feel bad over it--lesson learned and hopefully you'll be back in the saddle in no time!

  8. On the Ogilvy note: You could always be like me and have your mom tell you she ordered you one because it was the only thing you asked for for your 18th birthday when in fact she did no such thing so here you are with no presents and no Ogilvy. But I'm not bitter or anything.

  9. one horse does kick occasionally and I never get complacient - until one day the vet had tranqued him to do his teeth - so I thought it would be the perfect day to clean his sheath. Well, I just touched him down there and he kicked me clear across the stall. So ya, great advice. Hope you heal well!