Everyone's Doing It.

Before I get to the meat of this post, just wanted to let everyone know Isis is doing pretty good for having her butt torn apart. Its infected, as to be expected, but Jackie is doing all she can to speed the healing process. Thank you for your well wishes!!

And now.

You all should know by now that my ponyface is adopted.

I got him from New Vocations as a wittle bebe TB off the track, aka OTTB. I know some of you are opposed to the breed, but with him and numerous others, I can find nothing better and I've owned and ridden almost every common breed out there.

There's just something about the OTTBs that are so special and if you talk to anyone who has adopted I'm sure their story is the same. Loyal, affectionate, powerful, graceful, smart, athletic, beautiful...all of it. They are everything. To me, the perfect breed.

A fellow blogger started making T-shirts for us OTTB lovers, and her company has since exploded into a multinational business. I saw the other day someone from Europe wanted her shirts! She even has the MOST adorable jackets (UM, CHRISTMAS LIST, k thanks.) and coolers for the horses. So awesome. I love it. Its called OTTB Tee's and you can find her on Etsy and FB.

The link for Etsy is here!

She is also having a contest to win some merchandise and I live for free things. Problem is, I'm down by like...60 votes. There is no way they are getting that many votes without asking for them. I'm caving under peer pressure and asking you guys to vote for Mr. Yankee and I so I can win some free stuff! YAY FREE THINGS. ALL THE FREE THINGS!

The contest is to submit a picture of you and your OTTB with ONE word to describe "you" (Yanks an I). I picked 'quirky' because I feel that is the epitome of our relationship together. He is a major goofball and I'm a wild child.

The link is HERE to vote. Just "like" it on FB!

If you guys wanna help me out, that'd be pretty sweet. The contest goes till November 19, (very fitting that it is also election month) so head to the polls preese :D It'll only tai a hot second ;)

I realize I'm up against Ms. Lucy and Mr. Cuna...I might lose. haha.

Moments When We Want To Die.

**WARNING**

This post is more than exceptionally gory. Like really, if you have a weak stomach I'd advise you to go no further. But if you have morbid curiosity like me, please do go on.

Now that I've baited your minds, I shall distract you for a moment by asking if you remember Ms. Isis, Jackie's babygirl.

I'm assuming you all remember Jackie. Pure badass. Yankees second mom. Hot betch.

Anyways, Isis.

Yeah, she's pretty sexual. I have a thing for greys too so I find her even more beautiful. That, and her tail kicks Yankees tail's ass by like a million strands.

Jackie has been diligently working with Ms. Mare for 3 months, since she was all kinds of cray cray and barely knew anything. That and she threw some mean temper tantrums. I probably would've given up ages ago on her but Jackie didn't and now hot mess is hot mare.

But we all know that when the stars are seemingly aligning, its just a false sense of security.

You know something bad is about to happen don't you?

Yeah.

(AGAIN, SQUEAMISH LOOK AWAY!!)
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Doomsday dropped this bomb on poor Jackie this weekend through text message, informing her that her horse had a "cut" on her hindquarters....

Upon seeing this on my horse, I think I would've done 1 of 3 things
1. Bawl
2. Faint
3. Die

Lets look at this from a different angle...

Yeah, just a flesh wound, no worries. Minor scratch. That must just be blood covering up the wound. Aren't we always told it looks worse than it is?

Meanwhile,  Jackie is seemingly keeping her shit together on the way to the barn, while I'm furiously texting her asking what the fuck over and over.

NOPE. IT IS MUCH WORSE THAN IT LOOKS. Much much much much....is that...a flap of flesh?! Is this real life? How the? What the???

Anyways, I'm over here more than 2 hours away dually grossed out and sickly curious as to how the eff this silly mare could've done this in a STALL. Repeat....stall.

Turns out, the horse next to her decided he hated her and provoked Isis and they started fighting through the stall. Other horse kicked out, broke a board and Isis ripped her flesh on it.

That is one massive splinter in the ass.

Cue late night emergency vet call $$$$$$$

Like...I can't even.

All bedder? Maybe? Jackie told me that the vet literally had his arm up the stabbing and pulled handfuls of wood out of her body. Also that he had to sedate her with the amount that would knock out a Budweiser Clydesdale. Bitch did not want any human messing with her butt. I can't imagine why.

Her actual words "Yeah I saw bone. All muscle just mangled. He literally had to stuff the red muscle back in her body and stitch the white muscle over it hoping it would hold. He then told me the stitches wouldn't hold and I should expect that. Also that she may never jump again, so thats awesome. Oh and she needs 2 months off, possibly more."

Death.

The epic wound today.

So friends. Count your blessings that your horses didn't tear their ass apart. I would die.

DIE.

Weather, You Are Drunk.

So just as it was getting gorgeous outside and I was getting in the mood to ride and Yankee got all bedder, the weather decided to eff all the shit up and make it unbearable to go outside.

I have sweaty boobs. This is not okay.

But really.

Like, once it gets below freezing at night, all critters internal temperatures change...including mine. Horses hair grows long, people put on sweaters and boots, inhale hot beverages and liquid dinners, and curl up on the couch at night with doggies and stuffs to stay warm.

The weather goes to a bar and gets as drunk as freshman frat boys at a keggar.

And its all like, "HERRO I'm the weather and I'm here to fuck your world by being blazing hot outside just as your body was getting used to the cold. MWAH HAHAHA."

We are all miserable.

I just want to ride.

And wear sweatpants.

Weather is not done being wasty pants though.

So then, after these next two days of upper 80s it supposed to drop to 45...for like a solid 4 days. I guess weather will be very hungover from its binge drinking session.

*WHOMP WHOMP*

I almost questioned the purchase of a second turn out for the pony yesterday. Cuz, you know, I don't need to eat or anything. But it is absolutely necessary to have a back up turn out. We all know this.

Don't worry guys. I got this kick ass blanket for $40. Retails for $200+

 YEAH. I win today.


(Sorry no pictures....blogger must also be drunk because it refuses to upload them)

Ummm...I Feel Famous

So I finally made it onto Eventing Nation....sort of.

This did. Which I made. From a post in Feb of this year.

I mean, I feel REALLY special here.

Its too bad my Eventing badassery never really made it to EN but I will totally count this as a win, reppin' my TB love.

ALSO, this is on their Pinterest.

GAH, fame.

Western Clothes

Waddup blogettes.

I noticed a trend when the weather get cooler.....NO ONE BLOGS. Sup' with dat.

Anyways, yesterday was unseasonablly warm for Missouri...wait, the weather is normally psycho bipolar. Duh.

Anyways. Warm. So I asked H if I could ride Pronto & Emma if she wanted to take Yankee out for a trail ride. I wanted to show her the loop so she could go on her own if she wanted.

We were feeling squirrely and decided to dress Yankee up in western clothes....

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA....ahahahaaaa

Oh my fuq.

That is just....I can't even. He pulls off the pink though doesn't he?

They are just adorable. Gah.

Sadly, Mr. Pronto accidentally nailed Yankee good right above the knee less than halfway through our ride. Mr. P and Yankee both share the pussy gene, in that they hate flies and overreact to all bugs. This was Pronto, kicking out at a fly...and nailing poor Yanks.

I was mortified because it started pouring blood immediately....and I thought he gouged an artery. But he didn't.

It didn't even swell, just bled forever and he wasn't lame, but I wanted to play it on the safe side, so we took him home to bed.

I also figured out how to get a bandage to stay on the upper leg. Polo wrap and vet wrap over the top of that. Didnt budge. WIN.

It was fine this morning...just hella deep. Eeek.

He's getting shaved monday! Its supposed to be like 75 all week. GAY. Especially since the nights have already crept below freezing here and now all the ponies will be all kinds of confused.

TTFN.

Say Herro to Emma

This is Emma, Bloggers.

 She is a badass. I shall explain more in a moment.

This was her first time riding Yanks, and he hasn't been in regular work since like...June.



I realize I've been not blogging very much. Its because we live a very unexciting life and I'm sure you've all heard me go round the horn a million times and just don't want to hear it anymore. So while you all are wrapping up your show seasons and having funsies and doing things and being badasses, we've just been over here getting fat.

FAT.

In my desperate search for a leaser to help me pay for Yankee so I won't have to sell him, I found Emma. Not exactly what I was looking for since she can't pay at all....but she is a phenomenal rider. Like seriously. And I'm sure Yankee would like to be ridden, and in my depressive state, I don't want to, so....welcome to the team Emma! :)

She's been riding since forever, is a freshman in college and is basically a beast. I think she rides better than me actually and I'm like....not sure if impressed...or jealous. Hopefully she will be able to keep the beast in some work while I'm over here eating my anxiety and rocking back and forth in fetal position because apparently bachelors degrees in Business don't mean shit anymore.

But I digress.

 I DID ride my horse the other day on a trail pride with Pronto and H. It was actually fun and Yankee was so happy to get out. I swear, our horses are SAINTS. We took them through a new trail/road, and on that road were these absolutely massive backhoes/ construction equipment. They were rumbling around not 20 feet from us, banging and being vicious....I'm pretty sure other horses would have flipped the fuq out, but Pronto and Yankee just glanced at them and kept on trucking. H and I were blown away.

Saintly Beasts.

In other news. Its officially fall and I shall be clipping the Yankee soon. Luckily its been cool enough that I've had a light sheet on him for almost 2 weeks, and I think its stunted his hair growth, for once. Normally he's like a mammoth and its ridiculous.

Pretty black pony beast.

So until then, Bloggers.

Workin' on That Swag

Yesterday was just dreamy.

I took a nap.

It was 72 degrees.

And I rode my horse.

Since he hasn't been in regular work for about 7 weeks, I have to remind myself not to jump into the workouts we used to have. Instead, my friend and I went for hack down the country road.

This road is amazing for hacking! Hilly, fine gravel (great for winter) and shaded. The horses really seem to like it too.

Mostly for this ride I was focused on Yankee keeping relaxed, but still staying engaged through his body. He was absolutely perfect. Long and low the whole time and really working forward through his hind end.

 It was quite a pleasant ride, and I was impressed with the amount energy he seemed to have going AWAY from the barn. I think the weather was getting to the horses :)

Afterwards, with a very loose and forward pony, I took him in the indoor to have a quick canter both directions.

Fantastic impulsion, relaxation, and transitions. Overall a very productive, but short ride.

Hopefully today he maintains the same amount of goodness in our flat school! Sunday, jumping!