Ah, There It Is

~~Thank you for ALL the wintery comments! So insight. Much knowledge~~

Again, as many of you are aware, it is cold. Very cold. Unseasonably wintery if you will. And Bacardi is experiencing the Winter Wackies. Closely related to the Fall Friskies. But worse, in my opinion because your hands are frozen and you simply just cannot.

majestic B is majestic. But also an asshole.

I am 100% sure someone forcibly inserted icicles up my horses butthole, because nothing else explains the absurd 180 turn.

His symptoms include; bolting at nothing, rearing at: snow blowing, leaves, sounds, movement of anything in general, refusing to walk places, tossing head opinionatedly, galloping madly in pasture, snorting, sliding stops into stall so fast at feeding time he falls down, spooking at anything in general, being uncooperative about everything, flinching when touched, and overall, forgetting how to horse.

There it is.

That moment in every young horses life when they are complete assshats for seemingly no reason at all.

I would like to point out that the OTTB variety are especially not logical during this time.

I've been raving for months about how strangely calm, cooperative and willing this wee babe of an ex-racehorse has been about almost everything I've presented him with. I thought I bought defective OTTB.

Thank god thats not true.

No but really, the other day I rode him was the most terrified I've ever been on the back of a horse and that is saying A LOT. I've been on some doozies.

I've been lunging and hacking when I have the chance, because you know daylight savings combined with work and no arena makes for a dull training schedule. He's been pretty great for most of it. When the wind kicked up on some days he was little skittery out in the cornfields, but who wouldnt be.

Last Sunday though, I was pretty confident I was going to end up dead if I didnt cut our ride short. Normally I like to work through things, but I  feared for my well-being.

We went for a hack per usual out in the cornfields and I tell you what, he BOLTED at eh. vah. ree. thing. gah. And I mean bolted. Like madly bucking, race speed bolt.

Mildly terrifying. Can still handle. Must go on.

fast B shenanigans

He then started eyeing everything in sight and spooking sideways. And by everything I mean literally nothing. Unless he was spooking at pebbles and dirt and leaves on the ground there is no rationale.

Sideways B shenanigans

ts k. Hes a baby. Chalk it up to that. Still alive. Can hang on. Keep going.

Then for, absolutely no fucking reason, he begins rearing. Repeatedly. Straight in the air.

Cue shitting pants.

Can not handle.

Abort.

Abort.

I dont know about y'all but I've never been on a rearing horse and its fucking terrifying. I thought my life was going to end. Right there. I dont know how he didnt flip over. But the vertical height we gained was impressive.

Vertical B shenanigans

I actually did that exact move to ensure I did not die. I also kicked my feet out but he merely dislodged me with the repetitive up and down lurching, sky high teetering and absolute fuckery. I really did not feel like falling from a 17.1 horse onto frozen ground, so I also instinctually pulled his nose around to his shoulder to prevent said vertical height. Thought that would work. Turns out my horse is a freak and can still rear with his face in his own body and that only made me more afraid of impending death by toppling and getting crushed.

Mind you, this was all about 5 seconds in time. Yes, a whole life can flash in that amount of time and you can think of every way to die in those brief moments.

I finally got him settled...somehow. And I was about NOPE with the whole situation.

Never again.

Rearing bad. Do not want.

So, I'm mildly worried that my perfect child has turned into a monster. But the other half of me attributed the out of character behavior to the severe drop in temperatures, being cooped up in  a barn, and the fact that it was a blustery day and the landscape changed a bit with snowfall and corn croppage.

OF COURSE I thought about tack. Saddle. Pad. Boots. Bit. my own riding. But seriously, NOTHING changed.

Either way I refuse to own a horse beast that exhibits that type of dangerous behavior, for ANY reason; tantrums, fear, unwillingness, disrespect- it aint right.

So we shall be working on that and seeing how the rest of our chilly winter rides go.

Hoping those icicles melt soon..

Want this guy back

What Do Wednesday

First off, as usual, I love all of you madly. I was going to respond to each of you, but then a ton of you commented and I was feeling the love and esploded a little with joy. <3 p="">
Moving on.

I'm sure most of you are well aware that it is cold. Very cold depending on where you are. With lots of snow. Such snow. Many cold.

Ermahgherd snurr

I do believe all of my appendages have frozen and thawed about 6 times since the snow/cold front Sunday. I'm positive the windchill was like -10 this morning. I think I was dying while doing stalls. My mind has almost literally been blown by the fact that NY has FEET of snow and more FEET predicted for today. Noooooope.

I dont HATE the cold, I just strongly dislike it. Especially now that I'm older. The novelty really wore off quickly. Even Just a few years ago I was like YAY SNOW PICTURES ALL THE PICTURES.

Because snowy white wintery majesty.

But now I'm wiser and my brain just NOPES.

Now that I've worked the majority of my life outside in barns... and I'm just done. I'm either always too hot or too cold. My hands always freeze off because I am certain there are no gloves that provide coverage, but still allow you to work with horses. I've found undoing blankets, bucket clasps and gripping muck tools especially problematic. The wind sucks. My ears always hurt. Hats and earmuffs itch. Jackets are cumbersome. Fingers go numb. Ass goes numb. Legs go numb. ALL THE NUMB COLDY COLDNESS.

So, my little fluff kittens, here we are with another installment of "What Do?"

What do you wear to the barn to muck/do chores/ ride?

No What Do would be complete without my input either.

As you all know I am the classiest of fashionistas and run with the latest in all the trends.

That hot piece is indeed, me, in all my winter glory. Obviously striving for class in winter.

 For stalls, I usually go with the classic college hoodie, over top a long sleeve, topped off with the beautiful poop brown Carhartt. Sometimes I added a moisture wicking undershirt, but this never helped me. If its real cold, I also add a vest. Obsessed with vests. Breeches arent very warm as far as pants go, but thick socks and boots help. I sucked it up last year and bought Carharrt pants, but that made me TOO warm and I spent most days switching between sweating my ass off and shivering because I was sweating. Those boots pictured are terrible and I dont recommend them for barn work. I  purchased my trusty Muck Boots off Ebay last year after years of suffering (not pictured) and they have been perfect for cold weather. The hat tho. As mentioned before, I have yet to find gloves or mittens that keep my hands from turning to icicles, while still maintaining function.

When it comes to riding, I clothe myself literally in whatever is on the floor. Sometimes, I class it up a bit if we are taking pictures, but usually the warmth goes out the window and I stick with Ratchet Wear. So that means sweats, ugly boots in picture above, vests, coat, earmuffs/headband from hell and layers upon layers of long sleeved items. I hate riding in winter.

BUT VESTS.

I mentioned I love vests. Seriously, I love them.

VESTS

I wish I had the money to buy super fancy nice winter riding clothes, but vests from platos closet do the trick prrrretty well. Keep you wamr, but not TOO warm. And arm freedom! Platos Closet forever: Broke Bitches Club



Outside plaid vest



Showing vest and Levi vest

I have al the vests. ALL. I would love to get a Mountain Horse jacket because you know, function., but they on they expensive side for me. My poop jacket was a gift, and I love it for warmth and its windblocking abilities, but good lord does it ride up when mounted and its so restrictive. The struggle is seriously real when riding outside.

Last few years I was INSANELY spoiled with a glorious indoor that for some reason, remained quite warm. I could usually ride in a long sleeve and light jacket and would sweat.



Sometimes scarves because fancy

Also, again, vests forever, even inside.

I truly miss that indoor. I could ride everyday and not ever get cold. Shit actually got done in winter. Last winter was our best year for dressagey progress and it makes me THE most sad knowing that I will lose precious time this winter.

Sometimes even my horse gets clothes! Winter is wondrous adventure!

Most of Missouri winters were brutal, but sometimes we had random warm days that required hardly any clothes at all! yay Midwest weather psycho patterns!

In summation, I literally have no actual real winter riding clothes. All of my things are a culmination of middle school leftovers, a few gifts (carhartt and ratchet boots), college sweaters and vests from platos closet. Layers and layers of them. And really dingy sweatpants. Because winter makes me lazy and they are warmer than breeches. It really nails the whole "strapped for cash grunge look of non caring". Also brings up some raging safety concerns regarding boots. BUT MY FEET FREEZE IN NORMAL BOOTS OKAY.

My natural habitat

Bootiful.

So dear readers, share your secrets.

PS hilarious I just ranted about "no no-helmet lectures" and here I go posting 2 other pics with no helmet, haha oops.

People Are Just The Worst

I had every intention of coming on here today to share some thoughts on my horse angel Yankee and post some pictures we took over the weekend with him. IN a strange twist of fate involving another OTTB and a 12 hour drive, Yankee went to KS a week early and left this AM.

I'll explain in another post, the one I intended to write, but first I'm going to rant. Because I have my sassy pants on, its my blog and people are the worst.

I posted this adorable picture, along with a few others here and there on social media, of my Yanks this AM, with a note on how much I will miss him etc etc

And people have the audacity to comment and message me asking/telling me "oh my god why would you ever get rid of him" or "OMG youre replacing him with Bacardi".

First off. I'm not "getting rid" of him. I made a damn hard decision to do what I thought was BEST for MY horse. Mine, no one elses.

Secondly, to sit down, think about it, admit things to yourself and give up something you love for the better is one of the hardest things you could ever do. It takes courage. Its scary. I'm AFRAID. But I'm trusting my friends and my guts and doing what I KNOW will work out for Yankee.

Thirdly, I'd like to see the naysayers try it before they lash out at me for something they don't understand. Its so freaking easy to sit behind a keyboard or a phone and be nasty. I'm so SICK of everyone judging immediately before they read into a situation or try to comprehend that I made a decision that will benefit EVERYONE. And I mean that in general. People online SUCK. I'm about done with it all. Seriously GTFO if you're going to be rude like that.

Lastly, if you know me or my horse at all you know I worship that animal. He is my heart and my angelface and I love him more than life itself. But I cant give him what he deserves. So I made a choice. I'm not giving him up. Or getting rid of him or replacing him with anything. He's still my man and always will be. We've been together almost ten years and nothing will change that. Not distance or time. He's coming back to me after he's finished doing what he was meant to do.

Its not like I'm some heartless bitch getting rid of my "old" horse because better things came along. I'm hurting. I miss him already. This will be hard. But it will be GOOD!

Another thing.

Asking someone "where's your brain bucket?" or "where's you helmet?" is just....the worst.

Its obviously not on my head. Where do you think it is? Maybe in the garage. Or in the barn. But not on my head and thats my damn choice. I dont need to be reminded that I'm not wearing one. I obviously know that. Last time I checked it was not against the law to ride without a helmet on your own property in the state of Ohio.

Then again I haven't lived here for 6 years. But I'm not afraid of the helmet police.

I get it. Riding without a helmet is dangerous. We all know this. Ive fallen enough to know, seen enough footage, read enough news reports. I'm well aware. I'm also an adult capable of making my own decisions, and in that awareness, to not place a "brain bucket" on my cranium. There was probably a reason I was willing to risk my noggin'. However dumb and childish it may seem, its MY friggin choice. I don't need pretentious comments clouding my pictures and my happy mood.

I wanted to ride my horse, who I trust with my life, and get awesome fun pictures in the field with my super blonde hair blowing in the wind because I wanted MAJESTIC PICTURES TO REMEMBER HIM BY OKAY?

BECAUSE PICTURES ARE ALL. ALL THE PICTURES.

Hop off the self righteous helmet wearing train next time you feel the urge to remind me that I'm not wearing a helmet, because I already know, and really don't care. I wear it 99.99% of the time anyways, because you know, safety.


THAT being said. I am appreciating all the loving support I'm getting form the vast majority of peoples. It makes me so happy knowing there are others out there know how I feel. It means more to me than you know! Love you all!

xoxo

Chasing the Dream

I DO apologize for the cliffhanger, but I had to make ya'll wait for it.

It was SUPER hard keeping this a secret and has been in the works for a few weeks now.

As most of us know, this year has been a whirlwind and not quite gone where I intended, but I am NOT complaining. I moved, got a real adult person job, started a savings account, bought a beautiful baby horse, got badly injured, learned a few things, catch rode at a USEA show on another awesome OTTB, and got to see my OTTB baby improve and grow.

In January, another year had arrived and I was determined, yet again, to make it to shows and move up a level, or even JUST qualify for Championships. I KNEW Yankee had the potential and I knew with work we could do it. We had 2 very early season shows and ROCKEd out. I knew we had it in the bag.

Riiight.

I was delusional in thinking I could do it on my own, having a continuos, but not yet determined fear of large fences and competitions. Also blindly and stubbornly pushing aside the fact that I was a college graduate, with REAL bills to pay and 3 meager part time jobs that ate all of my free time.

The hardest part of this year was finally accepting that I was NOT doing okay enough financially to compete, and take lessons, and clinic and do all the things. I simply was not. No amount of shifts would make this possible. Also. I finally admitted to myself that I was scared. Really truly, scared, to jump. WHAT? I was? no. Yes. I've been denying that for years, literally. And refused to believe it. But it was true. All our problems came from my fear of crashing and burning and ultimately dying.

I had never been afraid until Yankee and I slid through a fence during a stadium round, due to some terrible footing, in 2010 and were eliminated. It was horrifying. I had never failed like that before and it ate me up inside. From that day on, I changed. Then I fell at a show in 2012. HARD. On XC no less, and again elimiated. I was done for after that. I ignored the feelings of fear and pushed through but Yankee knew, and he started refusing jumps. I knew deep down, but didnt want to admit it. It was too hard.

Where is all of this going you say?

If you stalk my FB at all, you know the answer...but for the rest of us, I would like to announce that this fine ass,

.....Is going back West

Before everyone gets their panties is a wod....it is with great excitement, hope, and gratitude, as I write this, that Yankee will be joining Paradox Farm in KS on November 23, for an undefined period of time. The Stiver sisters will be leasing Yankee in the hopes of taking him into the upper levels of eventing and will begin winter training in December in preparation for the 2015 Spring season. They have 2 insanely amazing coaches and he will be ridden weekly in lessons. Both sisters have qualified and goen to the AECs numerous times and their record is impeccable. Both have OTTBs of their own, past and present and are currently in full time working student positions.

This was truly a stroke of luck and randomness, as I was not planing to lease Yankee out for another year or so.

I knew eventually he would have to move on, with the addition of Baby B joining the crew, but I did not expect all the puzzle peices to fall into my lap and fit so wonderfully.

Its going to be hard, but I am eternally grateful that my boy will be getting trainiend regualry and shown! Its even harder because our TEN year anniversary is coming up.

Such adorable baby nuggets we were

Its insane to think how long I've had him, and all the trials, tribulations and wonderful experiences we've had together.

Our first USEA show together in 2007

We've made it so far! From little weenie fences and horrible dressage tests, to winning jumper rounds and seriously good scores.

Our first training together in 2009

XC love

He's been my heart, my comfort, my angel and my soulmate...in horse form

But I know that I can take him no farther. As much as I dreamed to take him 1* when I was younger, my adult brain is too cautious and self preserving to dream or rocketing around those massive XC courses with him. His adventure is to continue, with someone else.

USDF Team Champs

Its going to kill me not seeing him everyday, but it will mae me SO happy knowing hes out doing what he loves, instead of sitting around my pasture, getting ridden every once in a while when I have time.

I dont want anyone to think Bacardi replaced him either. It was my intention to work with both of them. I dreamed for YEARS to have two OTTBs under my wing and it finally happened! PRoblem being, I can only do so much and go so far. I cant make Yankee any better! BUut I sure can work with greenie B. I think thats my calling to be honest.

Maybe someday I will run around Prelim, but for now, I am OK at the lower levels, bringing up babies. Its truly gratifying!

5ft is too easy for Yanks

The decision was easy once I had all the facts. My baby will be in the best hands and I will get him back someday. I cant wait to see where else this truly astonishing horse can go and I hope you all will stick with his journey too!

I'm gonna miss this face, but he will be running around XC living and chasing the  dream!

A Weight Walk

Lets talk a walk. A walk through Bacardi's rollercoaster weight gains and losses and gaiiinz.

His first off the track owner got him straight off the track and he was in mediocre racing shape. I think it was around September. I really cannot remember.

This first picture set is the day before she picked him up and 2 months after she had him in her care. I heard a few horror stories about his days at the racetrack, involving small stalls and many hours jammed into said small stall. Might explain his fear of small spaces. Like trailers.

Crazy huh? He looks SO good in that second picture in comparison. In every aspect, it looks like his body lengthens out and he gains muscles in new places. Plus, he's blooming! I of course, had seen these pictures all over facebook and drooled over him from afar. I still can't believe he's  mine now!

This next picture was right in the beginning of winter, a few months after she took ownership, and he looks FABULOUS.

 I can't get over how freaking chunky, and muscley and adorable he is. I mean, look at dat ASS. For an OTTB, thats impressive. Not to mention his overall conformation in general. *swoons* Can you see why I stalked him for months (literally almost a year).

His owner then leased him, is my understanding, and moved him to a different barn to be closer to his rider. The following picture is 3 months after the one above and the difference is DRASTIC and scary...

Seriously, how terrifying. His whole spine, hips, withers and ribs are clearly showing. Not to mention his coat is no longer lustrous.  His owner had trusted his care to someone else and his lessee didn't notice that THIS horse was basically starving. Even through winter, this is unacceptable. She was furious and moved him again.

He steadily gained weight under her care again, but as we ALL know, getting a skinny OTTB fat (or any horse really) can be painfully slow and painstaking and EXPENSIVE.

I then bought him from her several months out of winter, around May. The grass was starting to come in really well and he was slowly gaining weight at his current barn.

When I moved him, he did well on the grain Yankee was on, in addition to long and low workouts and a LOT of hacking out. He muscled up again and gained weigth ever so slowly. It KILLED me. I just wanted him fat!! It took a few months to find the perfect balance of grain rations, hay and fat supplement but the "end" result was amazing!

Picture below is June- September.

Look at dat neck! I love it. He is such a stunner, always has been!

I sadly did terrible job remembering to take an October photo so there was no comparison from sept-october.... Probably for the better considering I MAYBE rode him 3 times in October and he spent the majority of the time mud bathing. I think he lost most of his topline again, but he did develop an impressive hay belly.

Here  are some pics from today.

Looking past the HORRENDOUS clip job (please someone give me clippers or blades to borrow), he's still looking pretty shiny even with a winter coat. His hay belly game is strong and I love it. He's lost a bit of his topline, but overall appears in good weight and I'm happy with him. Some long hacks and good flatwork training will build that muscle all winter long.

Hopefully with blanketing and all the hay he's eating he will maintain his good health!

We will make an eventer outta him one day!

BIG MASSIVE insane news. Stay tuned for the latest happening...coming soon. (if you stalk me on Fb or insta it will most likely pop up there first)

Rocket Man

I said I would discuss my last ride with B, and here I am, almost a week after it occurred, in typical late Monica fashion.

I also was putting it off a bit because I really hate admitting defeat or struggle. We will get to that in minute.

First off I would like to virtually bitch slap blogger for never getting its shit together with my old layout. Its settings are all wonky and some of my widgets are all screwed. In addition, and most importantly, I can make my pictures extra big. And thats like, imperative. Because pictures.

Especially ones like this that I just really like looking at. Levi tails crack me up. And B is really starting to look nice. And FAT.

dat hay belly doe

Trot swag

He's been a little beast under saddle as of late. I have yet to have a truly terrible ride on him. I know I've said this over and over, but he truly impresses me with his work ethic for such a young lad. The big little man tries so damn hard for me and never gives me any real attitude, ever.

Any flack I get from him is just from a lack in training. I have to remember that he's only five, and not a grown ass adult horse. Its just so hard when your baby is so fucking quiet.... and does literally perfect flying changes (no I mean literally perfect. Go stalk my FB page for the video. Youtube was also on its period and refused to let me share it).

Quietest flying change...ever

I suppose some horses have more of a propensity for changes because poor Yankee is almost 14 (sobs a little) and STILL loses his effing mind over changes. I truly wonder if he will ever be able to do them with any kind of composure. I'll take 1/2 horses doing changes though.

Our only internal struggle with each other seems to be jumping.

I havent had any truly difficult hardships since I was a wee child when it comes to jumping. I've had a decent form, OK skill and until recently, no fear. But god bless it, I cannot seem to ride my dear baby horses' jump to save my life. And he cant seem to jump even the smallest of fences like a normal horsebeast.

Please meet, rocket man.

srsly B?

For the first couple fences, everytime, he does this weird rock back dealio and LAUNCHES over it liek it might eat him for dinner. Every. Time. He also refuses the first time I ever present him to a fence. Not good.

And I go flying. Every. Time.

Graceful

The most awkward 

No matter what I do, I always end up flying backwards upon landing. If I try and 2 point to the fence...flying off. If I try and close my body angle and stay close...flying off. If I grab mane, I still fly backwards. I swear to god this horses' jump is impossible for me to figure out and it makes me want to cry a little.

I try my best to not jab him in the face, and usually do OK with that. His old owner told me he likes loose contact to the fence and that seems to hold true. Hope I can rule out fear of face jabbing. I'm wondering if he's scared. But then later ATTACKS the fences. So ruling that out. Doe she hurt elsewhere? Doesnt seem to be. Or is he just green? Most likely.

Hes MY horse. I should be able to fucking ride him.

Granted, I've jumped him 4 times, and all over crossrails. But STILL.

At a loss over what to do with this one. Why does he jump so awkwardly at first (and mostly in general)? Why cant I ride him? Questions questions.

I gave up over crossrails and set up a baby oxer to see if he would be a little more round and not...squatty. I also pushed him to the fence. He has a tendency to sputter out before, like hes a little unsure of himself an his legs. As you will see though, after a couple fails, he really gets into the groove.

.

I guess its just hard to accept that I need to work on rudimentary skills when you're used to scaling 5ft fences with superbeast Yankee and rocking out XC courses.

So what do you guys do when youre feeling a little discouraged? Any suggestions for his wacky jump style or what else I could do to keep my butt in the saddle?

7 Weeks

Thats how long its been since I've ridden this dreadfully handsome horsebeast.

Rather dashing, for a mud buffalo disguised as an eventing horse. And can we also please notice how dapper levi looks in dog clothes?

Yankee's time off culminated from the lack of organization in my life, hectic schedule and minor injuries to Yankee feets.

To recap; we had that whole debacle with the first farrier I tried when we moved back to OH. Not only could the farrier not keep shoes on, but he charged for it everytime he had to come out to put them back (not customary in my experience). Yankee ripped his shoes off 10 times in the span of 3 months, 7 of them I believe on the RF. As you can imagine, the RF was shredded. Then, we pulled the shoes in an attempt to save what little hoof wall we had- wrong choice, and he got a mega stone bruise. New farrier set beautiful shoes on him (they stayed by the way, in all the mud and weather fuckery) and I continued to give his fat self time off.

It did wonders.

He was feeling fresh and perfect when I tacked him up Sunday for the first time in SEVEN weeks. Thank God for Bacardi or I wouldve gone insane.

Luckily, I still got to play with him while he was on his vaca getting fat and shaggy- in what little "spare" time I had. In a lackluster attempt to de-shag him a I attempted to clip him in some cool and fashionable way.

Please disregard all horrible eq in photograph

Unfortunately for the boys, my clippers shit out mid clips, so Yankee is stuck with this and poor B looks so so sad half fully body clipped. Luckily for Yanks, I was smart and did ass first, then front trace. I wanted to get a trace done on B too that night, but then got clipper happy and kept rolling right along until *bzzzzzzz-shhiiiitttt*.

NEVR BREAK THE CARDINAL RULE OF CLIPPING: do not clip one full side, then the next. Always match sides evenly and clip a pattern that will look good if clippers shit out. I knew this and still disobeyed and now my baby looks ridiculous.

I digress.

Yankee was wonderful. Not an ounce of stiffness or lack of energy in his body. He wanted to go go go

Honestly, how does one even trot that big?

Not much else to report on that ride...fatty magoo got tired after 5 minutes (literally) and I didn't wan to overwork the poor guy.

I also rode B, but thats for another post. Just wanted to share my majestic steed and all his wonderful ass glory.