Fail Friday

On so many levels.

Not only did we have some fabulous fails last week while jumping, but I got broken up with (over it, baiiiii) AND forgot to send a check for Longview HT next weekend so uh, we won't be attending...

In addition Missouri continues to be insane and allergies have kicked in on top of random ridiculous 50* temperature changes. I feel like I'm dying half the time. 

Last week Jessie and I thought it'd be cool to jump the beast until we failed. Why. 

Basically a Yankee puissiance. Please don't try this at home. We shouldn't have. 

Bad idea. We got some sick pictures though. Including some epic fails 

Remember how I have anxiety about jumping sometimes? Add to that a five foot over and a squirrely bitch of an OTTB. Near disaster. 

I would like to point out that I did not fall and am truly astonished as to how this happened. I really should've died with some of the refusals Yankee threw my way. He did me dirty. 

After that fuckery which bashed my face into his skull and knocked the wind out of me, I quit riding and braced and he either slid to a stop or bunny hopped like a banshee. I'm pretty sure I broke my pelvis. 

Sorted it out a few jumps later and it was smoothe sailing after that for a bit. 

We might be successful at Grand Prix if we weren't both so bat shit cray. 

It's okay, I've lost 10lbs and he's gained like 50 and we both look bangin, fails aside.

(I wish theses pictures would behave and do the right things but  my mac is being difficult at the moment)

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

Depending on where you live, you may be the most frustrated with mothernature's bitchy attitude as of late.

I left you all last time with all the excitement of going XC schooling.

Yeah, that didn't happen.

Rain cancelled it.

Probably for the best, since I'm broke and that trip would've sucked me dry until the next payday. NEVER FEAR. A woman here with a small XC course is going to let me school before I go off to Longview. Better than nothin!

In addition to some INSANE thunderstorms and torrential rain a few days ago, we were blessed with a beautiful snowstorm exactly 24 hours after we were laying out on decks, sipping cocktails, enjoying the EIGHTY FUCKING DEGREE WEATHER.

GET IT TOGETHER MOTHERNATURE. Jesus.

I froze my ass off yesterday at the barn. Like, I'm pretty sure I have frostbite.  And I'm almost positive the horses were close to colic since their poor bodies were being thrashed around with the insane weather fluctuations.

I really loathe the midwest.

Sweating in shorts yesterday...freezing in jackets today. WTF

To add to the fun, we played musical horses and I failed miserably at attempting to ride another beast.

Us, on our own horses at first

I'm pretty sure I looked like a sack of fat potatoes on this beautiful beast I rode, and I could not FOR THE LIFE OF ME get my shit together. I don't think he was on the bit once, and his transition were shit. Oh the flopping. Luckily we didn't get pictures of me on him.

I blame his massive size and ridiculously huge stride. (Yankee looks bigger in the above pic, but thats an illusion. This horse is like, 17.2, and big and beautiful. Also an OTTB)

The owner of the beast of course made Yankee look amaze balls and I was like stahp it.

Luckily Yankee was a darling for me too and we worked on stretchy trot and self carriage. HEY-O

I've never felt uber comfortable on other horses, partially because I've always owned and ridden my own exclusively for long periods of time. They put up with my shit and vice versa. Comfort zoned.

Whenever I ride/rode Isis, Fancy or Pronto I feel/felt awkward and floppy. Mutiply by ten on this horse I rode yesterday.

Actually very jealous of people like Jackie and Jessie who are superstars at catch riding. They can ride ANYTHING. I wish I had had more chances to catch ride and be more versatile. I felt most confident in my riding when I owned 5 horses and rode them all each day. I was very practiced at switching my riding style and of course was insanely fit. Even when I rode for NSF with all the babies, they made me mrs conscious and ultimately a better rider.

But for the most part, I've been exclusively riding Spirit or Yankee for the last 10 years.

Crazy.

Hurry UP Sunday Funday

I think I've slightly recovered from my hangover and you can view a blogpost about the show shortly over at the New Vocations webisite under my ambassador page :D It seems redundant to post on my blog and theirs, so I will give a link once it up if anyone cares to read about the dressage show frivolity.

I also filed my taxes so I feel accomplished. And did errands. And cleaned my house. And bought new tires for my car. And got an oil change. BE ALL THE ADULT THINGS. I'm choosing to ignore that I owe almost $500 in state and property tax though...one day I'll pay that....

So I don't know about any of you guys but winter has FINALLY left the building.

The grass has sprouted. Trees and flowers are blooming and bugs are bursting forth with energy. Not to mention the horses are getting sleek.

Yankee just looks mildly stupid at the moment since he was shaved and grows his hair in all spotty.

Human, I am le tired. No work for meh.

I think he kind of looks like a leopard, haha. A new fashion statement.

We are in full horse show mode and I've actually been doing well riding him almost everyday AND working out. I look rather slim compared to a month ago. Its nice my breeches are falling off. And are those ARM MUSCLES I'M SEEING?

Say hai to my giraffe and dingo

YAY SHOPPING *insert evil grin* *bank account cries*

So after feeling good that I went out and practiced dressage at a show, it is now time to burst forth with happiness and drive 2 hours to Kansas to school CROSS COUNTRY. But first, a jump school.

I am so SO excited. Like I almost can't function this week. Its been  A YEAR. A whole friggn year since I've jumped a single XC fence. The last time he was a boss (see Blog banner) so I know he will rock out. Even though there is no need to school prelim or even training since I am (sadly) only doing Novice (UGH) at Longview since we haven't evented in a year (trust me I am really pissed about it but I feel its safest than to go training after a year off), we are still going to jump the big fences because YOLO why not I'm paying to be there.

#eventermentality

I set up a fun "course" (I didn't mean it to tun into one, it just did) that consisted of two BIG verticals, a fan, the skinny and a wide oxer.

The plan was to warm up like Jessie taught us then school each fence one at a time before stringing them together. Then let Jessie take him for a joy ride, since she is mainly a dressage gal.

He jumps single fences like no other, but we forever have problems making a course happen without falling apart in the middle. ESPECIALLY if there are verticals. BIG ones. SO I made big ones. They were almost four feet but he only knocked a rail one time out of like 18 jumps. YAY Yankee.

I HATE reading blogs with too many words, so I will now post le pics of le beast being one.

The fan is such a cool jump!

The fan!

Why so serious

3'9 aint but a thang anymore

Adorable

Dem knees

DAT TROT DOH

I love this horse like, so much.

He tries SO hard for his rider and he makes it SO easy. If I didn't have him to save my bum I don't know where I'd be! Crazy to think I trained him and now his ability almost surpasses mine. However, I am getting stronger and my position isn't so bad anymore.

SO READY TO GET EVENTING.

Hungover AF

I want to write a post about our show but I am so horse showing thunder storming babysitting stray dog finding bills paying working long hours hungover that I can barely function so I will sneak a few pics and leave it at that until I maybe recover. 

Had some mildly good work put in, with an OTTB tantrum about leg yielding, but otherwise a solid show that let us know what we need to work on. Lost to the girl at my barn who creams everyone with ridiculously unheard of high scores, BUT we snagged a first in first level 2 and nabbed the TIP (thoroughbred incentive program) award for the highest scoring thoroughbred at first level (64.5). Yay Jockey Club for sweet show swag! The judge was super harsh and in second level Jessie got third...the winning score was a 59....wut.

Sweet JC swag :)

XC schooling this Sunday!! Hopefully I make it to Sunday....

I Am A Cetacean

This past week I had a few discouraging rides on le ponyface.

The disheartening feelings weren't a product of the Yankee being a brat, but from my lack of efficient riding.

I've noticed lately with more intense rides I get tired quickly and I'm quite sore the next day. This rarely has happened in the past, and it was like a slap in the face that the whale has beached again.

That whale being myself.

Not only does my ass hang over the saddle flap but I can't even sit the trot for 3 minutes.

I'm not fat by any means...just...chuzzy.

And out of shape. Like, I am a circle.

In college I had a multimillion $$ gym that I had access to everyday. And actually used. I was hot and in beast mode shape.

That, however, was almost 2 years ago and since I am too poor to afford a gym membership my only means of actual exercise is the barn and all the chores that entails and the lackluster riding I have done in the last few years. I rarely kick my own butt at home with do-it-yourself- workouts because couch.

Not exactly conducive to a rockin ridin bod.

However, NO MORE.

It took a horrible ride on Tuesday to make me realize that this is shit. And it sucks. I can't even get my horse to collect anymore and there is no actual extensions in his trot because I can't set him up for it.

I didn't do us any favors with the way I rode over winter either. Sure he got worked 3-5 times a week depending on the weather. But the rides were barely 30 minutes and never included intense work. I'm still stuck in his "baby" OTTB brain phase when he can't handle more than 20 minutes of work but he is an adult and we are eventers.

Time to ride like we mean it.

The first show is May 10. I have about 6 weeks? I don't math.

So I bit the bullet and signed up for a month with a personal trainer. Because like I said, I am lazy and have been perpetually for about 2 years. I need a good ass kicking so that my ass is beautiful again.

The ride I had on Friday made me feel TONS better about this season though.

I set up a cool course with a tough diagonal line-vertical, 2 strides to skinny (VERY SKINNY) 2 strides to corner, and outside lines- one was a 1 stride (verticals) 2 strides to a wide oxer, the other outside line was all verticals, 2 stride, bending 2. It was wonderful!!

He was ON POINT the whole time.

It helped WonderWoman warmed him up with her magic.

DAT TROT DOH

Then I hopped on to learn her jump warm up (start long low, then collect, then extend) and popped him over a few fences.

He felt great so I moved on to my main focus...the skinny.

First I left the pole on top and the standards close. He jumped it no problem. Didn't bat an eye or question it.

Then I jumped it at an angle both directions. Still-nailed it. No question. Wut.

 Then I moved the standards away a little bit further on each side. Again. Awesome.

Lastly, I moved the standards close again but took off the top pole. He asked me about a stride out "Am I really?...OK"...And jumped it dead center. I was impressed. I thought for sure he would duck out at some point but  he never did!

Prelim skinnies here we come!

We did the whole course a few times with pretty bitchin lead changes and only one rail. This made me happy panda.

Maybe one day soon he can reach Spirit (AKA WonderPony) status and jump 2 barrels in a row upright with no pole or standards!

We will see :D

Eat Your Veggies

Do you ever feel like your horse isn't getting "enough"?

I've spent years perfecting Yankee's grain and feed schedule to the point where its effective and what he needs, but still affordable.

He eats 14% protein grain with min 9% fat in addition to 4 flakes of grass and 1-2 flakes alfalfa a day in winter. That decreases to 2 flakes in summer of grass and 1 alfalfa.

This has worked for us.

Mostly.

He needs just a liiiitle extra, in my "professional" opinion.

And by professional, I mean I know my horse and his workload and even if I feed him more grain he still wouldn't be getting that little extra he needs.

Enter Smartpak.

My all time favorite company in existence ever.

Seriously the best.

I've been a loyal customer to them for years now (probably around 9) and take great joy in using their products. Mainly, smartpaks.

They've made it much easier in the past few years to compare products and change smartpaks. SO EASY.

Every season I tweak Yankee's pak just a little.

Recently, I just played around with his "Show season" smartpak and added a few things I've never tried.

I always always have "Smarthoof" for the biotin for his feets and hair growth (seriously a HUGE difference). I don't do farrier's formula because I cannot pay an arm and a leg, thus why i LOVE the "compare"button. Helps you sort through product ingredients and decide which s best for you!

I also ALWAYS have "SmartFlex Maintenance" for his joints and tendons. A must have for any horse in work. I want longevity in my beast!

Over the winter I added "Gleam & Gain Supreme 60" and "Mirra Coat" for his coat and helping maintain his weight.

I took off Mirra coat for summer even though I always worry about his summer coat getting bleached. The ingredients were a little redundant with Glean & Gain and I wanted the high fat content vs the omega's in Mirra. I think I will add Chia seeds to his grain instead (little less  expensive) since my barn-mate has had great success with it and we can buy bulk here in town!

I added "Tract-Guard" as I always do for summertime. He has had ulcers in the past from racing and this seems to just coat his belly a little more and aid in never getting them again!

Lastly, I played around with the compare button to decide on a Vit E and Sel. supplement. In the past I've just gone with the straight Vit E and S from smartpak but with cost being an issue and the fact that his tripping doesn't occur very much anymore, I opted to choose a more all around vitamin that is chock full of good stuff. Its called "Ultra-Elite-Pro-Form" and I feel a little better about it knowing our soil and hay is not of great quality around here.

So, I have his joints (Smartflex), feets (Smarthoof), coat (Glean & Gain), and inner body (tract-guard, Ultra Elite) all covered!

Overall, I pay around $70-$88 depending on the season. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me and they're really easy to add!

Does anyone else use smartpaks? Do you love them as much as I do?!

Summer Dreaming

I have always loathed summer with a passion.

I hate sweating. My hair refuses to hair. I'm terrified of thunderstorms. And in the past 5 years it has been miserably boring since I had summers off from school and nothing to do but veg on the couch and occasionally slave at work.

Now though, since I am almost a a real adult, I've noticed more hateful feelings towards winter and the obscene cold and the effects it has on my commute. My feelings towards summer have changed. I'm beginning to become attracted to idea of it. Can I deal with the heat and humidity? Perhaps with working AC maybe.

I just want to go fishing. And swim. And back roading. And drink by the river. And lay out. And spend summer nights with friends. And wear shorts. And tank tops. And go to parks. Go on walks. Be skinny. Be tan. Be warm.

But mostly, I'm looking forward to shows.

I WANT RIBBONS.

Sure, it'll be hot and gross, but I think I can deal.

I've noticed myself daydreaming about all the horrible things about shows and LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. I've caught myself wishing I was in a truck driving endless hours down a hot highway headed to a show. Braiding at the late hours of the night. Sweating profusely on XC walks. The anxiousness before our test. The endless waiting around. The cost of hotels.

I WANT IT ALL.

I also, of course, in true tack whore fashion, dream about updates to my already extensive collection. None of which  I NEED (with the exception of new tall boots. Srly, mine are ripped in half) but of course, WANT.

And my imaginary schedule is PACKED so far. XC schooling at the end of this month. Then a dressage show in April with Jessie. Then Longview at the beginning of May. Then Queeny. Then everything else. ALL THE SHOWS ALL OF THEM.

 Dying inside knowing how much these shows cost, but YOLO you know?

Want dis.

Anyone else ready for the fuckery that is the flip flop temps to end and all the mud, rain and hair shedding that is spring to turn the corner??

I know I am.

What are everyone's plans so far? Shows? Training goals?

P.S. Thank you for all the congrats-I am more than stoked :D